My next door neighbor is driving me crazy! She has lived in the neighborhood only a couple of months she is unemployed and has a small dog that Danielle likes to play with. She introduced herself to me 2 weeks ago, and even gave Danielle a little playhouse for our backyard because her daughter outgrew it (her daughter is 5)She does not go to work, all she does is walk the dog all day everyday. She does not have custody of her little girl and the daughters step mom drops the daughter off at this ladys house every weekend. So my problem is, how can I get this lady off my back? I don't want feelings hurt but every time we step outside it has to be this long conversation then Danielle wants to play with the dog. Danielle had her Barney doll out and the lady who had no right hides him and says where is Barney, then she said say please? Can you believe the nerve? Danielle just looked at her and didn't say please, I thought to myself that's my girl. She knows how to say please she says it all the time, but its her toy that she took away from her, ugh. Also, there are a few stray cats in our neighboorhood, we live right down the block from a beautiful park. This ladys friend, who is beyond weird feeds the stray cats in the neighboorhood, so then my neighboor says to Danielle where are the cats? I called Danielle back over to me. This lady is nuts and I don't want her bothering us. My husband thinks I am scared of her or something and that is why I just don't tell her to leave me alone, but that's not the case. All she does is complain about the people that live downstairs and how bored she is all day. Her husband drives an ice cream truck, she has no car and obviously no social life. The last time I took Danielle to the park she probably followed us and was there with her dog. Danielle didn't play on the swings or anything cause the dog was distractign her. Please help this is driving me crazy!! Now every weekend that her daughter is over she wants to have playdates and I can't pretend to be busy every weekend. Any advice is helpful thanks

I think you are making more of this than it is. For example the Barney thing, sounds more like she was just playing. Maybe it was a game her daughter enjoyed. You need to be more assertive: Gee <insert neighbor's name> I'd love to hear about that, but now I really have some things I need to do. Maybe we can gab over coffee later.

In my opinion, the nicest thing that a person can do for another is being their friend. Sometimes, that's all that people want. It sounds like this neighbor of your is quit lonely and is in desperate need of socializing. Maybe she feels that you are the only nice person to her and that's why she is constantly trying to commuincate with you.

If she is bothering you that much, I suggest telling her, but don't offend her though I don't know how you wouldn't. Because you didn't ignore her in the beginning, you both have developed a neighborly friendship and by breaking things off might really hurt her.

I agree with Scott.

This lady just sound lonely, what's the harm in being nice?

Maybe try and get to know her better, you might be surprised. I think you are reading in to things a bit too much, but that's just my opinion.

If you really don't want to try and be friends with her then tell her nicely that you are to busy to chat. If you don't want to have playdates then tell her. Personally I don't know why you are this annoyed with her, but to each their own.

Good Luck.

I think the lady is bored and trying too hard to have a social life.
Some adults think it is cute to do like the lady did by taking your daughters Barney and making her say "Please'' but I think it is a sign that she feels something lacking in her own life. Like wishing she had her own daughter to raise or something. If you don't have time to spend listening to her tell her you have to get back in the house to cook or you have to get ready to go somewhere. Eventually maybe she will realize you have a life.

I have known a few women like her and they had no real social life, never had kids, etc...
They were attached to their dog and would act the same as you say this woman is.

Here are some things to do:
- Tell her that you don't want your daughter around stray animals. If she doesn't get it and tries to engage your daughter with the cats, say, "No, Mary, I don't want Hannah around the cats. I've told you that before." don't argue. If she makes an issue, take your child back in the house.

- Learn not to be available, "Mary, you'll have to excuse me, it's not a good time for me to talk".

- Take your daughter other places to play.

- Be cordial but curt. Don't sit and listen forever to her. Cut her off... "Oh, I'm suposed to make a call...gotta run".

I don't agree with the idea of cultivating her as a friend - she bothers you, you are not going to be her friend without being miserable. That may sound cold if she's lonely, but she's not your responsibility and you should be able to enjoy your home and your daughter without a constant interuption by someon who doesn't know when to quit.

You might even get to a point where you say, "Mary, I need to ask you to stop coming over because when I come outside with my daughter, I really just want to be left alone to spend time with her. I don't mean any offense, but you come over too often and I want to just be honest with you about how I feel."

Be prepared... she might hate you. Hopefully she'll avoid you.

Another option? Move. Sometimes it's easier!

No long drawn out answer, Be honest, tell her you do not want to "talk, play, or that you want some alone time with your family"

And you mentioned several times that she does not work, is this a real issue to you?