Ask Me Help Desk - Mental abuse

I am very concerned. I have a 17 year old cousin who always talks to me about her father making her feel like she is not worth the air she breathes and that she is basically nothing. She has asked me what she needs to do but I really do not know what to tell her. She has tried to talk to her mother about it and her mother has been abused by him for so long both mentally and physically that she keeps her mouth shut also. Any suggestions?

She could speak to a school counselor, or check your local phone book for mental health centers. Some offer low cost or free counseling on emotional abuse and physical. The cousin should be strong and call the police if they know that their mother is being physically abused as well. A lot of places now consider even the verbal threat of doing something to someone as a crime and they can be arrested for it.

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Originally Posted by JAMIET

She could speak to a school counselor, or check your local phone book for mental health centers. Some offer low cost or free couseling on emotional abuse and physical. The cousin should be strong and call the police if they know that their mother is being physically abused as well. A lot of places now consider even the verbal threat of doing something to someone as a crime and they can be arrested for it.

In regards to Jamiet...

She really should speak to someone, I completely agree. The problem is that if you are in a situation where you are born into mental/emotional abuse, it's actually rather difficult to be strong. Not saying it's impossible, but being born and raised in such a situation makes it extremely, extremely hard to fight against it... there is this intense fear of backlash, and in the back of your mind, in one way or another, may believe what that individual is saying, especially if that individual has strong control over your life.

In regards to Concerned29...

Your cousin really does need to talk to someone, and be thankful she came to you: it's showing that she is beginning, or actively seeking, help. As Jamiet has said, the girl really does need to speak to a counselor about this: they will be able to better analyze the situation and take the proper actions to help her. They can contact the law, help her emotional well-being, and perhaps put her into a better home (maybe a relative's), with better ability than you or your cousin can do yourselves. Not saying you are incapable of helping, or that she is incapable of helping herself: just that the counselor probably has better connections than either of you. Let the counselor put them to use.

Turasleon... I speak from experience unfortunately... The cycle has to be broken somehow, that's why I said be strong. By speaking to a school counselor, or even if someone else calls them on her behalf, they can intervene and get into the home and find out what all is going on and offer some long awaited help.

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Originally Posted by CONCERNED29

I am very concerned. I have a 17 year old cousin who always talks to me about her father making her feel like she is not worth the air she breathes and that she is basically nothing. She has asked me what she needs to do but I really do not know what to tell her. She has tried to talk to her mother about it and her mother has been abused by him for so long both mentally and physically that she keeps her mouth shut also. Any suggestions?

When me and my mom used to fight I would write her a letter... I think that is also a good idea.. She needs to tell him how hurtfull he really is... and remind him that she is still his daughter... Sometimes it takes a little explaining to figrue things out...