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-   -   I love her but she has a boyfriend already. What do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=206644)

  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:19 PM
    shrtskrt1234
    I love her but she has a boyfriend already. What do I do?
    There's this girl that I love a lot but she has a boyfriend already. She's one of my best friends and she is also my prom date. I don't think that she has any idea that I have feelings for her so I plan on telling her at prom. Is that a good idea? Her boyfriend is also one of my friends and I don't really want him to get mad at me so what do I do? How do I tell this girl that I've had feelings for her for a while now??
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:27 PM
    Alty
    You don't. She's with someone else, nothing good can come of you telling her. In fact, if she doesn't feel the same way, she'll probably start to avoid you because she's uncomfortable. If she does feel the same way then her boyfriend, you friend, will end up hating you. Leave it alone and find someone else, if it's meant to be it will happen.

    Good Luck.
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:44 PM
    shrtskrt1234
    But the thing is, she caught her boyfriend cheating on her before and broke up with him. I was talking to her about it like a few months after and she said that he wants her back but she doesn't know if she can trust him anymore. She said that he changed her outlook on herself because the girl that he was cheating on her with is an "ugly retard". She obviously got back with him and she seems happy but I just have a feeling that she still doesn't trust him at all. In the long run, would I be doing her a favor by telling her?
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:50 PM
    Alty
    First let me tell you that using the phrase "ugly retard" is not going to get you very far here. Please refrain from stereotyping people or calling people names. Thanks.

    As for my advice. You said so yourself, she seems happy, you have a feeling that she doesn't trust him. She's still with him though, and until she isn't anymore you don't have the right to make a move on her. If she was a married woman would you try to win her over? If you tell her your feelings and she goes for you then she's no better than her boyfriend, and either are you. Sit back, be her friend. If it's meant to be it will happen. Telling her will only make things worse, trust me.
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:52 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg
    You don't. She's with someone else, nothing good can come of you telling her. In fact, if she doesn't feel the same way, she'll probably start to avoid you because she's uncomfortable. If she does feel the same way then her boyfriend, you friend, will end up hating you. Leave it alone and find someone else, if it's meant to be it will happen.

    Good Luck.

    Have to spread some rep around, but I agree with you 100%. Great advice
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:54 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg
    First let me tell you that using the phrase "ugly retard" is not going to get you very far here. Please refrain from stereotyping people or calling people names. Thanks.

    As for my advice. You said so yourself, she seems happy, you have a feeling that she doesn't trust him. She's still with him though, and until she isn't anymore you don't have the right to make a move on her. If she was a married woman would you try to win her over? If you tell her your feelings and she goes for you then she's no better than her boyfriend, and either are you. Sit back, be her friend. If it's meant to be it will happen. Telling her will only make things worse, trust me.

    You're right on it. I have nothing to add. Again, great advice.
    Take this advice, kid.
  • Apr 16, 2008, 06:56 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
    You're right on it. I have nothing to add. Again, great advice.
    Take this advice, kid.

    Thanks sweetie. I hope he does.
  • Apr 17, 2008, 03:22 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I love her but she has a boyfriend already. What do I do?


    You go to the prom, and have a good time, and that's it. Keep your feelings to yourself, unless you don't care about losing TWO friends. Just curious though, why is he not going to the prom with her?
  • Apr 17, 2008, 04:58 AM
    shrtskrt1234
    Because he's not in school
  • Apr 17, 2008, 06:27 AM
    DazT
    I have to say that telling her would be very low of you. What would your friend think? If I was your friend and you told my girlfriend that you loved her I would probably do something stupid and then never talk to you again!

    And just imagine if that was your girlfriend and your friend told her that he loved her! How would you feel?
  • Apr 17, 2008, 06:29 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shrtskrt1234
    because he's not in school

    Why, did he graduate?
  • Jan 21, 2009, 11:52 PM
    child4ever
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shrtskrt1234 View Post
    there's this girl that i love a lot but she has a boyfriend already. She's one of my best friends and she is also my prom date. I don't think that she has any idea that i have feelings for her so i plan on telling her at prom. Is that a good idea? Her boyfriend is also one of my friends and i don't really want him to get mad at me so what do i do? how do i tell this girl that i've had feelings for her for a while now???

    I have been in this position so many times of course I was always on her end. I fell in love with a guy I had the longest relationship this way. If you love this girl then you know exactly the treatment she deserves. If this guy is not giving her that treatment that is when you should tell her. Tell her how much she deserves and then be the one to give it to her;)

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