Ask Me Help Desk - Dating again?

Ok, I probably already know the answer to this. But I've been broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years for a little over 3 weeks.. last time seeing him was 11 days ago, I'm now on Day 10 of NC. I guy I know has already asked me out for this weekend. I know he likes me more than just a friend and maybe one day, I could like him too.. but I don't think I'm ready. Am I ready? If I go will it make me feel worse or better? I want to go cause I think we'll have a good time, but I'm afraid for some reason afterwards it might make me start to feel worse about the breakup. Agh! I mean, I'm not getting any younger, I'd like to get back out there. But is this too soon? What are your experiences dating after a breakup? Good or bad?

The only person who's going to know if you're ready is you. We're just people on the internet, and unfortunately, we can't stick a fork in you and let you know when you're ready.

Buuuutttt... even if you aren't ready, that doesn't mean that you can't get out there and socialize. I'm sure it will make you feel better, and if he tries anything funny... just let him know the situation you're in, and tell him that you aren't ready.

My boyfriend of 3.5 years and I broke up 3 weeks ago today so I'm in a similar situation. Guys have expressed and displayed interest in me but the thought of dating someone else disgusts me. I enjoy the flirting part but no, not ready for someone else.

I would feel comfortable going on a date as long as they know what I'm going through. It would take the pressure off and it's nice to go out and meet new people. That's just me though. Of course you know you and you're the only one who knows you so don't rush things but if you'd like to try a date, go for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by losingit77

Ok, I probably already know the answer to this. But I've been broken up with my bf of 4 years for a little over 3 weeks..last time seeing him was 11 days ago, I'm now on Day 10 of NC. I guy I know has already asked me out for this weekend. I know he likes me more than just a friend and maybe one day, I could like him too..but I don't think I'm ready. Am I ready? If I go will it make me feel worse or better? I want to go cause I think we'll have a good time, but I'm afraid for some reason afterwards it might make me start to feel worse about the breakup. Agh! I mean, I'm not getting any younger, I'd like to get back out there. But is this too soon? What are your experiences dating after a breakup? Good or bad?

Dumped by my girlfriend 12 days ago. Still think about her all the time. Still miss her. I know she's not coming back. I have a date next weekend with an old flame from 10 years ago. Don't know if I'm ready or not. I guess we still can go out and have some fun.
Maybe It'll help me look to the future instead of my current agony. I must be careful not to trap myself or hurt anyone. I must be honest with her and most importantly myself.
I think because the date is still a week and a half away, I will have something to look forward to and help me try to forget about my ex. Worse case, I can cancel at the last minute if it feels too weird.

There is nothing wrong with having a friend or going out with someone. Because you know that you are not ready. You should feel confident in having fun. Who is to say that this man wants a relationship any way. Sometimes we think that if someone invites us out it is for other intentions. Perhaps He could just be looking for a friend as well. I would say have fun. Go out on the date, its not a marriage proposal, and remember you set the rules. Don't be afraid to be yourself because of your old relationship. Nothing can't happen that you don't want to happen.. DOn't worry. Are you afraid your ex might find out? If this thought is on your mind, don't worry about that he made his decision that he wasn't ready. Just have fun, again YOU SET THE RULES

As long as you, and your date are out to have fun, and not trying to get serious, then by all means date. That may require some real honesty, on both your parts, but go for it. No strings attached, or high expectations, except have a great time. If your going to pine for the ex though, stay home.

I went out with a girl who got out of a 4 year relationship recently, I just got dumped 2 weeks ago out of an almost year long relationship.. We both went out, had fun, slept together and that was that.
We didn't plan the last part but it just kind of happened.. We had talked about our situation before we went out though so we both knew we were out of relationships and not looking further than that.. we were just out to have fun and we did.
As long as he knows that you don't feel ready to date exclusively then you can go out all you want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by losingit77

Ok, I probably already know the answer to this. But I've been broken up with my bf of 4 years for a little over 3 weeks..last time seeing him was 11 days ago, I'm now on Day 10 of NC. I guy I know has already asked me out for this weekend. I know he likes me more than just a friend and maybe one day, I could like him too..but I don't think I'm ready. Am I ready? If I go will it make me feel worse or better? I want to go cause I think we'll have a good time, but I'm afraid for some reason afterwards it might make me start to feel worse about the breakup. Agh! I mean, I'm not getting any younger, I'd like to get back out there. But is this too soon? What are your experiences dating after a breakup? Good or bad?

Well spend time doesnot mean that you have to be in love with the guy... just go & see him... & then if you feel anything for him then only you move into a relationship otherwise no...