Hi, can anyone help me with a diagram or schematic on how to control a 4 pole contactor with two 3-way switches and a 4 way switch? Thanks!

You would wire it like any other light fixture. Only the coil of the contactor is your load instead of a light fixture.
Where are you using a four-pole lighting contactor in a home??

Like Stanforty says, you only need to use 1 pole of the contactor, unless you wanted to switch 2 lighting circuits, Or parallel the poles to increase Ampacity.
It may not be desirable to switch Neutral?