Good afternoon all, I have read your site and its very informative so I joined I have a two part question and your advice is greatly appreciated. I have a 11mnth old baby boy and I am 30yrs old I left my sons father at the beginning of my pregnancy we dated for 31/2yrs he became abusive wheni told him I was pregnant and I ended it & I got a restraining order against him, it expires 4/09 he was not around for my whole pregnancy was not at delivery nothing and I loved it there was no drama I allowe dhim to come see our son after he was 2 weeks old if he would "act right" no disrespect and no fighting no nonsense period so at first he did he came around for 2 1/2 mnths and was OK he thought we would get back together but when he realized that was not happening he started to get nasty again so I reminded him of the order and he backed down he stopped coming by which I said was best due to his attitude he was still calling till he threatened me this past feb and I chnaged my number and cut off his phone privileges he has never paid me a dime for my son and in march he has me served for visitation. We went to court April 3rd and he asked for a paternity test which is fine I want to ask anyone that can advise me I don't mind him seeing my son I just want his visitation supervised I have everything documented even the most recent threat I also have his threating recordings I believe he has anger issues and I want to protect my son also I want to know if he is granted visitation what happens if he doesn't bring my son back when he is suppose to this is my only child and thisis the only tie he has too me I didn't take him to court at all he is taking me so what rights do I have to get supervised visits and to ensure my son gets back to me when he suppose to


Sincerely yours

[QUOTE=mysonsmother]Good afternoon all, I have read your site and its very informative so I joined I have a two part question and your advice is greatly appreciated. I have a 11mnth old baby boy and I am 30yrs old I left my sons father at the beginning of my pregnancy we dated for 31/2yrs he became abusive wheni told him I was pregnant and I ended it & I got a restraining order against him, it expires 4/09 he was not around for my whole pregnancy was not at delivery nothing and I loved it there was no drama I allowe dhim to come see our son after he was 2 weeks old if he would "act right" no disrespect and no fighting no nonsense period so at first he did he came around for 2 1/2 mnths and was OK he thought we would get back together but when he realized that was not happening he started to get nasty again so I reminded him of the order and he backed down he stopped coming by which I said was best due to his attitude he was still calling till he threatened me this past feb and I chnaged my number and cut off his phone privileges he has never paid me a dime for my son and in march he has me served for visitation. We went to court April 3rd and he asked for a paternity test which is fine I want to ask anyone that can advise me I don't mind him seeing my son I just want his visitation supervised I have everything documented even the most recent threat I also have his threating recordings I believe he has anger issues and I want to protect my son also I want to know if he is granted visitation what happens if he doesn't bring my son back when he is suppose to this is my only child and thisis the only tie he has too me I didn't take him to court at all he is taking me so what rights do I have to get supervised visits and to ensure my son gets back to me when he suppose to



You go to Court with your evidence and ask for supervised visitation - based on the circumstances the Judge will either order - or not order - visitation.

Once you allowed him to violate the restraining order you no longer had a restraining order and I'm sure he is going to argue that you didn't think he was so dangerous if you got an Order and then ignored it and allowed him near you and near your child.

So go prepared with all your evidence and see what happens. You really can't do anything about "what if" until it happens... unfortunately.

I believe you should retain the best family, domestic relations, lawyer in your area that you can afford. The local lawyers are familiar with the law of your state and local practice and customs. If the father violates any of the terms of the order, you can file a motion to hold him in contempt of court; that's it, there are no guarantees that he will return your son either on time or ever. Supervised visitation is a good idea, but what does this father know about feeding, changing, bathing, and putting an infant to bed? I wouldn't consent to overnight visitation until the child is five years old, and the father has proven himself by paying child support on time and used day-only visitation for two or three years.

Im going through almost the same thing but our daughter is only 3 months old.

Supervised visitation is pretty common in DV cases and with a TRO you have a presumption (in CA anyway) that sole or joint custody in favor of the perpetrator of the domestic violence is not in the child's best interests. But what you usually need to show to get supervised visitation is : physical abuse of the child; drug or alcohol abuse; mental problems (suicide threats); serious DV (physical violence) committed in the child's presence. This is not an exhaustive list but I think you get the picture.

If he ends up having unsupervised time and doesn't bring the kid back call the police immediately. This is a crime (violation of a court order) and could constitute child abduction (if he hides the child or tries to run). In such a case you don't need to horse around with asking people legal advise or talking to lawyers (I'm one myself and a family law specialist in California so I have nothing against it by the way).

Old post from April.. should be closed.