Ive been court for five yrs every six months. I have no education and work at just above minimum wages. I have deleted my parents savings in court. I have part time visitation since the divorce five yrs ago. My x files petitions against me every time I get behind one payment. I have paid her lawyer fees and every dime I have owed.
Work is scarce for a part time job in a rural community. I can't even afford the expenses of my new wife. Bills are always late. Ive taken loans out to pay for support that I've been behind on. I live off one paycheck monthly. I now owe the govt 2100.00 and my electric will be cut off soon. I haven't bought anything I need, such as clothes in four yrs. My wife needs dental work that I can't afford. My x tells my child that I'm sorry and worthless, my child is seven. SHe has remarried and is bringing in three digit yearly income. My child wants little to do with me. I don't know if I can keep going. Im tempted to sign my rights over, I'm so tired of going to court and fearing going to jail. THe family court system just doesn't understand how tough it is when you make little, and required to be a part time dad and a full time provider. I just don't know if I can keep my rights secondary to no money. Ive read this forum and mostly it's from women who judge dads in my shoes. But until you walk a mile in a persons shoes like me you have no idea. Im so sick of being behind on every bill and a x who wants me to give in and sign my rights over. Our court records are so big that it has two full manilla folders and the judge cringes each time he sees us in court. Im going again in three months. At this point I'm not behind in support. I garnished my own wages with a court order, and am sending her 3500.00 dollars today including 1500 of her lawyer fees.

Signing your rights over, doesn't stop child support, my friend.

Children are expensive, parents are responsible. Sorry, that's the way it is.

Wrap and repeat every time your in the bed room. Unless your financially ready and mentally prepared to be a father. Good luck to you though...

Not to disagree with all of you other posters, but seriously, he is trying to get some help here, not a put down.
Tantalus, just because you are behind on payments, doesn't mean you can't be with your child. She needs you and you need to have a clear conscience. You pay what you can, go without, deliver pizzas, work somewhere part time, sell on eBay, go door to door to do lawn care, don't put yourself above these sorts of jobs! You can make a big difference, just by showing you are willing to do what it takes to make it work!

All you can do is keep records of your good faith, and tell the judge exactly what you are telling us, you can't afford the amount you are paying. How are you living? Can you get a cheaper, smaller place to live? I noticed you said your daughter wants little to do with you. What are you doing to change that? Are you fun to be around, do you go pick her up every chance you get? Even if it is to go to Grandmas, (where you know there will be plenty of food) you can still show her that you are her daddy and you love every moment with her. Get a deck of cards, learn some magic tricks, teach them to her so she has cool stuff that you taught her. Play cards, games, read to her, I bet you would be the one she would want everything to do with if you start doing these types of things. You have to stay focused here, on the important thing... YOUR DAUGHTER. After this is all said and done, you you may be broke, but later, she is going to see how hard you worked your AZZ off to make sure it was all as OK as you could make it! Keep working, and I wish you all the luck in the world, some women will be as nasty as they have to, to bring a man down!
Hugs, Start

First there is no way to "sign over rights" that will stop child support unless the other parent has a new partner that wants to adopt.

But your child support is suppose to be based on your income, so you should not be paying more than about 25 to 30 percent of your pay.
And if you are not late, then you will not have her filing new motions and will not also be paying additional lawyer fees for her.

And you are free to file for additional visit time if you don't get enough visit time.

And many people find they have to get a second job, and of course your new wife may have to work to help pay many other bills.

I hear you. When a person is on the poverty line to begin with, 25-30% of their gross income going to child support is simply too much. That amount should be looked at and altered based on the standard of living of the person paying, and that of the person receiving the money. If the payor is working his butt off like you are that is.

Then you get yelled at that, if you don't feel you can afford kids you shouldn't have any. Children do not cost 30% of an income! No, they only might cost that much for those who need to keep up with the Joneses. I've both paid and received child support while raising children. They do not have to cost a third of a parent's gross income!

Until they change the rigid law that only serves some families well, you have received excellent advise here. You have to pay even if you give up parental rights. Pay on time to avoid future lawyer expenses. Make extra money any way you can. And try to lower your overhead by moving to a smaller place.

Yes, startover22 has the best point given. Spend time with your child. Play costs little or nothing and it makes a world of difference to a child.

Sure do wish he would come back to see all the support he could receive!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tantalus

Ive been court for five yrs every six months. I have no education and work at just above minimum wages. I have deleted my parents savings in court. I have part time visitation since the divorce five yrs ago. My x files petitions against me every time i get behind one payment. I have paid her lawyer fees and every dime i have owed.
Work is scarce for a part time job in a rural community. I can't even afford the expenses of my new wife. Bills are always late. Ive taken loans out to pay for support that ive been behind on. I live off of one paycheck monthly. I now owe the govt 2100.00 and my electric will be cut off soon. I havnt bought anything i need, such as clothes in four yrs. My wife needs dental work that i can't afford. My x tells my child that im sorry and worthless, my child is seven. SHe has remarried and is bringing in three digit yearly income. My child wants little to do with me. I dont know if i can keep going. Im tempted to sign my rights over, im so tired of going to court and fearing going to jail. THe family court system just doesnt understand how tough it is when you make little, and required to be a part time dad and a full time provider. I just dont know if i can keep my rights secondary to no money. Ive read this forum and mostly it's from women who judge dads in my shoes. But until you walk a mile in a persons shoes like me you have no idea. Im so sick of being behind on every bill and a x who wants me to give in and sign my rights over. Our court records are so big that it has two full manilla folders and the judge cringes each time he sees us in court. Im going again in three months. At this point im not behind in support. I garnished my own wages with a court order, and am sending her 3500.00 dollars today including 1500 of her lawyer fees.

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Hang in there man,
This one-sided system guarantees a woman maximum fiduciary benefit and at times in CA, a permanent pension on our dime. Write your child and send it registered mail. Send it to the child support people so they have to read it then send it and have now become
I can say concerning both your daughter and the hell you live in because of one person, that at the end of this life God's law will not lay down one sided justice my friend. I'll pray for you tonight, stay positive. The purpose