So its been 4 months and I'm still not over my ex. I find myself thinking about him all of the time. The good stuff mainly. I'm finding it hard to accept that its in the past. I still have feelings for him but he wants me out his life.
I was with him for 2 years so obviously there are deep feelings. We talked about marriage, being together forever and being 2 halves of a whole and he USED TO promise me he'd never leave me because I was perfect for him bla bla bla.
But we are never getting back together. He said even in like 10 years times we'd never get back together.
I still cry over him every few days. Even though he was a right **** to me the other week.
Thinking about the good memories makes it hard for me to move on and thinking about the bad times and bad things about him makes me hate him. Both of them are as bad as each other to feel.
Its lfet me with low self esteem as well because of it all and some of the things he said about me. I no it sounds stupid, but I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who made me as happy as he used to..

Any suggestions?
Thanks

What you wrote.. It describes exactly how I feel about my ex.. Its been 4 months since we broke up also.. We spoke on the phone for an hour today about the relationship and what went wrong and honeslty I felt like sh*t for the rest of the day. I have tried lots of things to get over him.. Even hypnotheray!lol and you know it did work for a while!Till I saw him again.. but my advice to you would be to try and get out there and meet other people because there is A LOT of awesome guys out there!Even if it seems like there isn't right now. I just met a great guy recently and I thought I could never have strong feelings for anyone else after my ex. But I really like this guy and am willing to give it a chance.. I do feel I will always love my ex in a way but I think the trick is to finally accept that you will not get back together and then you will just move on.. You have to :)

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Originally Posted by JuliaK

What you wrote..It describes exactly how I feel about my ex..Its been 4 months since we broke up also..We spoke on the phone for an hour today about the relationship and what went wrong and honeslty I felt like sh*t for the rest of the day. I have tried lots of things to get over him..Even hypnotheray!lol and you know it did work for a while!Till I saw him again..but my advice to you would be to try and get out there and meet other people because there is A LOT of awesome guys out there!Even if it seems like there isnt right now. I just met a great guy recently and I thought I could never have strong feelings for anyone else after my ex. But I really like this guy and am willing to give it a chance..I do feel I will always love my ex in a way but I think the trick is to finally accept that you will not get back together and then you will just move on..You have to :)

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:-( thing is, is that in a way your in a better situation because your ex is being decent to you and talking to you on the phone. Mine won't. Last week I saw him to get my stuff back foff him because he was home over easter from uni. It was the first time I saw and spoke to him since we broke up. He dumped me over the fone in January, and the last time I saw him before the other week we were still together kissing and talking about being together forver and stuff. I've never seen him without us having feelings for each other. Anyway, we ended up having sex, when he was bk from uni and I thought it meant something to him because we together so long. But he said it was because I was hot and it was a bit of fun. (I no, what an *****). And I said so no emotions or anything, just fun and he said he had feelings for me, and I think later he said he fancies me. Then we got in an argument later and he chucked me out the hosue telling me to get out his life and never to talk to him again.
He was really horrible, and still blame myself

Only time reduces the pain. While you're waiting for time to pass, keep busy. Start new hobbies if you don't have any. Then force yourself to get out of the house and date. Also, read the sticky posts in the relationship forum, everybody here has been where you are; lots of good info on this site.

Yeah I suppose he is being "nice" now but honestly my ex is d biggest a** you will ever meet!Maybe that's harsh but even his friends think so lol. Same kind of situation happened with us.. We ended up having sex.. Since we were together for so long and I still loved him sooo much I tought it meant something to him and we would get together. But he was like "I'm not the guy for you, I dont love you..You're not my type"?? I mean ! Before we did it it was a different story.. I blamed myself as well but honestly honey don't regret anything. What happened happened and it is the past and just try and move on. I have really good days when I feel like I have moved on but then I see him and the feelings come back. In a way your lucky that you don't see him it'll help you move on wayy faster. Just think a few years from now you will be happy and moved on with someone so much better and this will all just be a distant memory..

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Originally Posted by JuliaK

Yeah I suppose he is being "nice" now but honestly my ex is d biggest a** you will ever meet!Maybe thats harsh but even his friends think so lol. Same kind of situation happened with us..We ended up having sex..Since we were together for so long and I still loved him sooo much I tought it meant something to him and we would get together. But he was like "I'm not the guy for you, I dont love you..You're not my type"??! I mean ! Before we did it it was a different story..I blamed myself aswell but honestly honey dont regret anything. What happened happened and it is the past and just try and move on. I have really good days when I feel like I have moved on but then I see him and the feelings come back. In a way your lucky that you dont see him it'll help you move on wayy faster. Just think a few years from now you will be happy and moved on with someone soo much better and this will all just be a distant memory..

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How is he an ***? At least his friends admit it as well. I think my ex is that as well, but aparently he has more friends now and people have said he seems a lot happier and relxed now that me and him are broken up which really gets to me.
! He said you wernt his type..? U were his type for how ever long u 2 were together.
I envy guys because they can have sex with girls and not get attached, whereas girls (normally) get attached to guys they sleep with and it means more than just pleasure.
How long were you and your ex together? Are you my age?

I hope I find someone better... I have so many good memories of him. Its annoying because we talked about marriage, the future, being together forever, and so many times he said I was perfect for him and he'd never want anyone else. We were two halves of a whole etc. and even 2 days before he dumped me he said he loves me and always has. And then he dumped me by fone saying 'ur dumped until you grow up' then the next day he said it was permanent and didn't even give an explanation. He didn't want me talking to him after that and said he moved on after about a week. So I'm still left thinking how could he just change like that so quickly, was I that easy to move on from, did I mean anything to him..
I've found a guy I really like but unfortunately he only likes me in a friend way. Which puts me down. He doesn't compare to my ex though.. we clicked instantly and he was so romantic and sweet and I was the only person he felt that way about, he was always there for me and vice versa.

He was really mean to me the whole time we ere together always putting me down etc. Even his friends were like he is horrible to you, you need to dump him! Yeah can you believe that he said I'm not his type after we went out for a year.. Sometimes I think he just says things though and doesn't consider what he is saying and how it will hurt me.. I think lots of guys are like this? We are both 21.. How old are you?And your ex?

What? He said 'ur dumped until you grow up'?That's weird.. Did you guys have a fight or something? Or was it just out of the blue.. Maybe someone said something to him.. Because when me and my ex were together we'd always have arguments about rumours that I or he would hear about each other that weren't true.. People make up a lot of ****.. lol. I'm not saying that's what happened but its strange that he would say that if he was saying he loved you just 2 days before and everything was cool..

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Originally Posted by JuliaK

He was really mean to me the whole time we ere together always putting me down etc. Even his friends were like he is horrible to you, you need to dump him! Yeah can you believe that he said I'm not his type after we went out for a year..Sometimes I think he just says things though and doesnt consider what he is saying and how it will hurt me..I think lots of guys are like this??We are both 21..How old are you?And your ex?

What? He said 'ur dumped til u grow up'?Thats weird..Did you guys have a fight or something? or was it just out of the blue.. Maybe someone said something to him..Cuz when me and my ex were together we'd always have arguments about rumours that I or he would hear about each other that werent true..People make up a lot of ****..lol. I'm not saying thats what happend but its strange that he would say that if he was saying he loved you just 2 days before and everything was cool..

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Yeah he did say that. We got in an argument on the phone, it sounds stupid but we were arguing about some online game we were both playing and he said he wanetd to tell me something important about it and I said 'well I wanted to talk to you about soemthing important the other day and you didn't listen' (we broke up a week before in person then half an hour later he chnaged his mind and said he lvoes me and doesn't want us to break up, and I tried to talk to him about it, and he said to forget it, he didn't mean it, it won't eva be rbought up again, but over the next few days I demanded we talk about it because I didn't want to carry on with the relationship without an explanation and knowing he just dumped me). And when I said the thing about talking about something important he said 'thats so spiteful, why are you being so spiteful' and then he said about the growing up thing.
I'm 18 and he's 20.
We were arguing a lot from about november-january. Mainly because I got jealous and paranoid he'd find soemone else at uni that was better than me. I wasn't comfortable with him calling other girls babe and hugging them and kissing them on the cheek. Maybe that's just me being petty. And he said abiut another girl being incredibly attractive. I came across s being a bit possessive to I think because I was afraid he was slipping away from me. He got annoyed at me as well because I would get annoyed at him for wanting to do ecstacy and mdma and stuff. He felt that I was controlling him.
He also thinks I'm really angry because of ym family and stuff and I always stress him out. But I wasn't like that with anyone else, no one else thinks I'm angry. He says that's a big reason, but we were completely 100% happy before he went to uni he didn't have a problem with me back then.
On my xmas card he wrote how I'm the most important person in the world to him and I'm the only one he dreams of etc. makes me sad I don't have that anymore :-(

I felt the same way that you are feeling after my ex broke up with me a year ago. I was depressed, hurt, angry, and confused. I cried all the time, and tried to think of ways to try to get him back. I felt like I couldn't be happy unless I was with him. After the breakup he told me that it would be best if we didn't have any contact with each other anymore since I still had feelings for him (after telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me). A month after he broke up with me he started seeing his best female friend. I was devastated that he could move on so fast while at the same time I still loved him was still hurting over him.

All I can tell you as that time heals all wounds, honestly. When I wised up and finally went total no contact that's when I started to heal. Overall it took me about 9 months to get my life back, but I feel strong now and I know that there are better things out there for me. Just stay busy, keep no contact (thats important), and don't dwell on the past. Move forward with your life. You'll be surprised at all the good things that are waiting for you just around the corner! Good luck.

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But I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who made me as happy as he used to..

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That's what we all think, after the death of a relationship. The truth is all we can see, and feel, is our loss at the moment as its fresh. You still have a lot of healing to do. It starts with NO CONTACT with the ex, whatsoever, and getting busy, building a life that you enjoy without him. Click on the links in my signature, for some really excellent insights on surviving a break up! Please read all 4 posts, and let me know if they apply to you.

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Originally Posted by xblondyx

how is he an ***? at least his friends admit it aswell. i think my ex is that aswell, but aparently he has more friends now and people have said he seems alot happier and relxed now that me and him are broken up which rly gets to me.
! he said u wernt his type..?! u were his type for how ever long u 2 were together.
i envy guys because they can have sex with girls and not get attached, wheras girls (normally) get attached to guys they sleep with and it means more than just pleasure.
how long were u and ur ex together? r u my age?

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Sooo wrong... I'm a guy and I got so attached to the sex with my ex, she had sex with me multiple times even when she was dumping me even though I said I don't want to if we're not getting back together, sometimes she'd just come back and say nothing and have sex, said she was sorry for me or something... so I thought it meant something... the dumping process went a long time... but then poof! She was gone in a week with the other guy. Or maybe she was already with the other guy, I don't know.

And like Stuart down there, I'm still stuck in my past as well, just not acting on it...

I really know how you feel, but I am a guy. I do the same thing-thinking about the good things and bad things. In hindsight-everything looks like a movie. My ex talked of marriage, children and all that as well. I think about her all thee time,but I just don't act on it. I may be out of line here, but as a woman, you will have at an easier time finding a date-if for no other reason to get you to realize there are better men out there-and maybe even boost yourself esteem