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My name is clay I'm 19 years old, almost 20, and I'm still a virgin, and I'm not a virgin by choice, I'm a virgin because I keep getting rejected, I have alopecia which means that I'm bald I have no eye brows, and I'm unattractive. My confidence is down to 0 and I don't know what to do, I'm a very shy person with low self esteem because of what happened to me in the past, and I need advice to regain my confidence.
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry that you feel so down about yourself. The truth is that not everyone can look past the outward appearance and see the goodness and kindness that lays beneath. You are still so young, and so are the people around you. It takes maturity to see a person for who they are. You will find someone, actually I'm sure that you will find many people who won't judge you based on appearance. And, I'm sure that you are not unattractive, just different, and some people fear different.
Get out of your shell, go out, meet people, let your wonderful personality shine through, you'll be surprised at what happens.
As for being a virgin at 19, there's nothing wrong with that, don't be in such a hurry to have sex. Trust me, having sex with someone you care about is the ultimate pleasure, sex just for sex is not that great.
Keep you head up, your shoulders squared, you'll be just fine.
Good luck.
Not to get your hopes up but you may have alopecia due to lack of vitamin B's, zinc, iron, and some other vitamins and minerals. You might want to read up on nutrition and remedies for alopecia but it may or may not help you.
There are many people your age that are still virgins and it is nothing to feel bad or 'wrong' about. I understand your wanting someone in your life though. I am sure eventually you will find somebody that can look past the 'material world' and love you for who you are.
Just remember that God makes a mate for everyone, and you just have not found your mate yet.
Hey...
Why your in hurry for sex. You should proud to be virgin. I am 23 & hardcore virgin I don't feel like that.
Wat I believe is If you are virgin that means you are a kid:ANd that is the most important part because.Childhood is like living in HEAVEN...
So live in Heaven,, as long as you can buddy!
Enjoy the goodness of virginity.
Thanks!
HI,
I think you should get your hair styled by a good professional to reflect the styles worn by popular men who are losing their hair. Get suggestions for the amount of hair loss you suffer right now.
Then, get a pair of glasses like a studious but cool guy would have... or a classic pair of frames like tortoise tone.
Now, you look your best and you got to go out into life and make a go of it with the ladies.
Say Hi to every girl you run into. In class, sit next to a few girls and start a conversation. Say HI! :) Go to the library and study, and take a break and say HI to people in the library lounge. :)
Have a speciality or two that you like to talk about... whatever.
Ask one of your new friends to go out for a beer, or coffee, whatever.
Get out from behind your computer and socialize is what I'm saying. :):):)
Listen friend I see how you feel heck I'm 25 and a month ago I lost my vriginity.So don't feel bad there's plenty of time! :D
I couldn't agree more. :o People really do fear what they do not know, and what is different. The real you (your soul) is beautiful and I am confident you will find someone special. That person will find you too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your virginity. Enjoy that special uniqueness, you will give someone a wonderful gift.
Balding men style their hair... I don't know how much hair he has.
If I was going bald, I would shave it all off. Don't worry about losing your virginity man, it will come 20 isn't even that old to be a virgin, people hold out for much longer than that, voluntarily, and in-voluntarily.
Let's divide your problem into 2 parts:
First, is about being virgin due to alopecia at 20, and second, zero confidence.
I'll answer your first question.
I and my friends often joke that to be a successful movie star, one must be beautiful/handsome or ugly. I do find that many movie stars have reasons they are ugly. Some grow so short, or some physical challenges.
In fact, I don't find many girls with alopecia, being bald and no eyebrow. You should be uniquely attractive. You can opt to make an eyebrow tattoo and wig. Yet, you may opt to stay what you are, and you are correct regardless of the choices you made.
That's what the God gave me, I'll let my true self accentuate.
That's what the God gave me, and I can do something to make it better.
Both are good reasons. You choose which one.
Being virgin is also a good thing. You can find a guy who seeks purity in a girl, who seeks the heart rather than appearance. You can always be sure of the guy you'll have as your lover, that he will love you for what you are, not because of your beauty which will eventually fade over time, not because of any other reasons that he can find on someone else. You don't need to go over trial and errors, you don't need to go through breakups due to silly reasons.
Once you grab your man, he's yours always.
Second question:
You can always find ways and reasons to be confident. I've given you some examples. Life is coins with 2 sides. For every good thing, there's some bad aspects. For every bad thing, there's some good aspects. It's totally up to you how you view yourself, which side you constantly see.
I personally will prefer, to spend my time and energy being on the good side rather than the opposite side.
I once had a friend with pimples all over his face. Most people will have low self-esteem, yet he managed to be a salesperson of an anti-pimple product. He said, because I have pimples all over my face, I feel it's easy to sell the product. I just say, "Guys, girls, ma'am, sir, do you want your face to be like my face? If you want a better face, use my product." Surprisingly enough, with enough confidence, not many people asked him, "Why don't you use the product you offered?" Even if they do, my friend had an answer: "This way, I can always show them what it would look like if you don't use my product."
It's now your challenge to exercise the art of finding the good sides of something you consider bad.
Have a nice journey finding your strength, and my good wish is always be with you.
Wow, alopecia. I love this lack of hair. There was a guy in college that I was all over, because he had alopecia. There's a girl for you, oh yeah, just wait.
Being a virgin is only a detriment because you have no sexual experience with others, yet. It's not a brand on your forehead. Read all about what makes the opposite sex tick, sexually. Learn what makes you feel sexual. Practice on yourself. Learn everything you can.
One thing's for certain, it will all change. You won't be a virgin forever. The alopecia may be cured or it might not. But, your feelings about that, about yourself will change. Be ready to roll with those changes. Be the best person you can be, all the time.
I didn't have sex until I was almost 20, my husband now thinks that is the most awesome thing ever, a good woman will respect a man who hasn't been around, just play it off like you were waiting for the right person to come along, act like you can have anyone, best of luck to you, and remember there's a world of stds out there
Don't get all down on yourself. Someone will come along that will like and love you for who you are. It's all good.
Took me until 22 here.
Never feel down, there is always someone out there for you, you just haven't found them yet. I think that you should wait until you are married, that is what I am going to do, that's what the bible tells me, and just remember people who judge will be judged in the same way if not more.Quote:
Originally Posted by claydogg
It's a good thing to be a virgin actually. So that way you can save it for the right person. I think the right person for you would be the one who looks past you not having any eyebrows and loves you for who you are. Then and only then will you know she's the one to have sex with.
I personally find bald men attractive ;)
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