Ask Me Help Desk - I don't know I dunnoo

I don't know I dunnoo

Me and my ex are friends but we still love each were good friends well more then friends but less than lovers seeing that he has a girlfriend he's been with for a while. We talk for hours at night but... it seems he can't have a conversation with me without bringin up how much he wants to make love to me and I always tell him noo then he says "when we hang out im gonna rape you". Every time he asks to hang out with me I always come up with a excuse because I don't know I kind of thinkk if I was to not want to have sex with him then he would rape me he is very aggressive and is known for his temper. It sucks I love him I really do and I loved hangin out with him but now I won't cause I don't want to put myself in that position. I'm scarred to hang out with one of my bestest friends. I tried explaining to him if I hang out with him then I'm not having sex with him but he says that I won't be able to resist because of how much I love him.. and I know I don't want to have sex with him or anyone else cause I'm not ready but I feel like if I do hang out with him then its just going to happen because of what we feel for each other orrrr if I hang out with him and I do say noo then he will get aggressive and actually rape me... I don't know its like a lose lose situation I just want to hang out with him without anything physical but I don't know if I can cause I'm so drawn to him

I'm sorry but I would start no contact its not a good situation that your in

1,you need to get over this guy and move on which you can't do being in constant contact
2,if you are scared of him and what he could do stay away from him
3,he has a girlfriend how would she feel if she new what he was saying to you
4,find anew friend you don't need a friend like him

Read what you have written hear what would you say if that was your friend that posted that??

You deserve better,go out have fun and forget about this nut case nobody says things like that joking its not funny stay away from him if you don't your going to put yourself in a situation you wish you hadn't

START NO CONTACT MEANING NO CALLS,TEXIS,EMAILS,NO HANGING OUT,OR ANYTHING

Are you kidding me? What the hell kind of pick up line is "I want to rape you?" This guy has some problems and needs help. I'd recommend some to him and be supportive of him trying to change and I'd only do that via the phone... and that might be asking too much.

You'll just have to trust me on this one, but a guy who threatens rape, is not a friend, and is setting you up, because he can always say he told you of his intentions, and you came to him any way. Now he get what he wants, and you get hurt, so get this psycho out of your life, anyway you can. He is dangerous.

Yep he's not right in the head 1bit

Get away from him as fast as possible, if he is saying he is wanting/going to rape you then he is messed up in the head and might even do it, not worth the risk. You deserve to be cared for and loved by a decent guy not someone who thinks about raping you.

I took the whole "im gonna rape you" thing as sarcasm... I don't know if anybody else did. But if I was flirting with a girl on the phone, I'd probably say something like that, but it would be a joke... I couldn't ever rape anyone.

Anyway, you shouldn't be talking to him anyway! Your relationship is over, start with No Contact. If he asks, just explain to him that its too painful to talk to him when you're trying to get over him.

I see what westy's saying, but... for personal reasons, to me, rape can't be a joke.

As for the question asked... the entire time I was reading it, I was shaking my head and going "........."

... hope that sort of answered your question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

i took the whole "im gonna rape you" thing as sarcasm... i dunno if anybody else did. but if i was flirting with a girl on the phone, i'd probably say something like that, but it would be a joke... i couldn't ever rape anyone.

anyway, you shouldn't be talking to him anyway! your relationship is over, start with No Contact. if he asks, just explain to him that its too painful to talk to him when you're trying to get over him.

I'm serious when I ask this and this is not an attack but how exactly would you say that as flirting? I guess I just don't see how a woman could see that as flirting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

I'm serious when I ask this and this is not an attack but how exactly would you say that as flirting? I guess I just don't see how a woman could see that as flirting.

I can see how it can be strange, haha. But if I know a girl who is attractive, the next time we hang out I might say something along those lines in a Joking manner. As if to say, "you're so hot" but in a way most guys won't say it. I don't usually say "rape" but I might say something like, "im just gonna start making out with you next time i see you". But I wouldn't say it to a stranger, only someone who knows me, and knows my sense of humor. I'm very sarcastic.

Good question though, this way people won't think I'm a creep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul29

i tried explaining to him if i hang out with him then im not havin sex with him but he says that i wont be able to resist because of how much i love him..

This is your choice. He does not respect you, nor your right to choose whether to have sex with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul29

i know i dont wanna have sex with him or anyone else cause im not ready

Good. Then DON'T.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul29

i feel like if i do hang out with him then its just gonna happen because of what we feel for each other

You obviously don't trust your own willpower enough to be in the same room with him. You know this. Don't put yourself in the situation where you know you won't be able to say no.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul29

if i hang out with him and i do say noo then he will get aggressive and actually rape me

And this is the guy that you say you love? Sweetheart... when you honestly believe that a man will rape you if you say NO that is not love. That's lust.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul29

.... i dunno its like a lose lose situation i just wanna hang out with him without anything physical but i dunno if i can cause im soo drawn to him

Look at what you've said. You say that no matter what (to the extent that you don't really care if you're raped or not) you'll hang out with him because you're "drawn to him"??

Honey, you need to get yourself enrolled in a kickboxing class and get yourself some self-assurance and backbone. No woman should ever knowingly desire to hang out with a man that has said he will rape you if you're in the same room with him. Can't you see that?

This man is trouble. He is dangerous. He is NOT your friend. Stay away from him. Please. For your own safety. Don't let your "touch-feely-feelings" get in the way of your safety.

There are many porno movies made on this subject, but they are the stuff of fantasy. Real life is often a little more complicated.