Ok I know this is a typical question most people ask but I need advice. Me and my boyfriend rarely fight and rarely disagree. We have so much fun when we are together. But My boyfriend of 5 months wants to take a break and I don't!! He said he love's me but is not "in love" with me and he thinks we should at least take a break. He has been overwhelmed these past two days but we spent the weekend together and had a blast. Why did this all of the sudden happen? We have not talked since we said that. How/What do I say to get him to try to make this relationship work? We are young so being "in love" should come later. So I think we should focus on being happy and having fun right now not too serioud of stuff. What do I do?

Well he texted me yesterday saying these exact words " maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now" we used to spend a lot of time together until we realized it was hurting us so we decided to only see each other at school and have a date once or twice a week. Well at first he said he wanted a break so I said okay we can take a break and he texted back " no we're breaking up" I don't get it. He has never acted like this before. Even his friends who have known him longer than me think this is werid. I have not texted him or called him since he texted me that so I am proud of myslef for doing that but I don't know what to do I have class with him on Monday because spring break will be over but he sits right next to me what do I do??

Just how young are you?

Just from what you write here, he sees you as more of a friend, not a lover.

We are 16. The thing is we are so happy when we are together. We loves to cuddle and hold me and kiss me and dance. And I don't know what to say when I talk to him next...

I ask the same as chuff, how old are you?
A lot depends on your age, if you're a teen or young 20's, looking for love is the last thing you want to do! That will come later in life, you need to go through lots of heart breaks before you learn what love really is.
I think he is a guy that just jumps from girl to girl.

Well I've been in a year long relationship before and that ended HORRIBLEY!! But I'm his first girlfriend... it sucks because it hurts so much and I have classes with him all day every day.

Girl, walk away! You are 16, it is just a fling! Love is something you don't learn till you are well into your 20's, sometimes 30's. I'm a lot more then twice your age and you just need to walk away! Just find another boyfriend!

It's just hard to walk away. I'm proud of myself for not harassing him with texts and phone calls... I have hope he'll call and want me back, but I'm sick of being hurt. So when we talk next should I keep hope or give up? I hate hurting

A love sick puppy is someone who just keeps nagging the other for another chance. Give up on this guy, just find another! When you get to my age, I guarantee you will look back at this boy and say, 'what the hell was wrong with me?'
Stand up and hold your head high! Show you are a strong woman who is happy to be single again. That will hurt him, and show him what he lost! Just walk away!

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Originally Posted by easilyamusd

we are 16. the thing is we are so happy when we are together. we loves to cuddle and hold me and kiss me and dance. and i don't know what to say when i talk to him next...

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Well you are learning some real lessons about love.

RULE NUMBER ONE. Never, and I mean never speak for the other person. Your message is filled with "WE." You were happy with him, not we were happy together. When you see him again, keep it short and be happy. His decisions do not control your life. In this situation I try to think what I would do if I was seeing this person in 10 years from now, the reality is there would be no emotional attachment so act like that person in the future.

Um, shouldn't you be in school?

Spring break

Ah. Go to the nearest mall, look for a nice attractive man and hit on him! Flush the ex down the toilet and show him how you are a lot better then he knew!

OK thank you. I appreciate it.

I don't know you, but I can say you are going to be a very strong woman. Not many people your age have the guts to come to places like this to ask questions. So from you doing that, I can say you have to be a great person who is going to grow up quite well. Just remember, men are just going to come and go. You may think you are getting heart broken, but believe me, you're not!

That's what my mom always tells me. Thank you for giving me great advice. You're a lifesaver

GIve him his space. No matter how much time you try to invest right now, he is not ready. Try to go out with friends and have a good time, you are young! Maybe he will see how much he misses you, and really does have strong feelings for you, maybe not. This will be hard for you because you have such strong feeling for him. I f he dosen't change and come back, I can almost guarantee there really is some one out there that you will have a much stronger connection with. Good Luck!

I'm guessing you are young.

Young love is overwhelming. All encompassing. Extreme.

If he wants a break, it can be as simple as his needing some "guy time" or it could be more. Sometimes young couples spend too much time together... my wife calls it "cave time"... my need to be alone sometimes. I love her with all my heart. I'm committed to her. I'm faithful. But sometimes I need my alone time.

It could just be that.

Unfortunately, it could be more. "space" sometimes is the first step in being "ex's"...

So... sorry to tell you, I can't get in his head. Maybe he's just needing some time where he isn't restrained by the demands of a relationship... or maybe he's looking for much more space than that.

I've been in both places. Asking for room to get a breath and come back, and asking for room to get a breath and leave.

I know that doesn't make you feel better. With I had a more positive answer for you.

Nobody can be in his head except him.

Look hun even if you don't want a break you should respect his wishes and have abreak show him that you respect his wishes by not calling and texin you can either wait for him to call or move on this could be a nice way of breaking up with you it does happen but I could be wrong did he tell you he needs acouple of days or weeks or what?

How old are you both?
He might just need some time to think about what he really wants from life and your relationship he might just need to find himself we all have taken time out from relationships to find or selves and to find out what we want
He could think its moving to fast

Well he texted me yesterday saying these exact words " maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now" we used to spend a lot of time together until we realized it was hurting us so we decided to only see each other at school and have a date once or twice a week. Well at first he said he wanted a break so I said okay we can take a break and he texted back " no we're breaking up" I don't get it. He has never acted like this before. Even his friends who have known him longer than me think this is werid. I have not texted him or called him since he texted me that so I am proud of myslef for doing that but I don't know what to do I have class with him on Monday because spring break will be over but he sits right next to me what do I do??

Get a little mad.

You are broken up, not on a break. Even if he changed his mind today, its not fixed. He's hurt you. Instead of feeling sad, try to change that frustration into being mad. Sure... at some point you have to let go of anger... but when someone dumps you, a healthy dose of being pi$$ed can help you not feel so weak.

So go to class. Do your best to stay calm. You don't have to be mean, but you don't have to be particularly nice.

What always made me mad with a breakup is usually that other person has been thinking about it for a time. Unless something happens that causes a person to snap, like a person hits you and you are done with them... unless its like that, usually the person has been pondering the breakup. Working it out in their head... and all the time they were still seeing you, kissing you, acting like all was fine. If that doesn't make you mad, I don't know what will.

And don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get him back or all that noise. At this point, you need to spend time on you, not him. If he wants you back, and don't wait for it, he's got a lot of work to do to get your trust back, and even then, often its not enough.

So do what you are doing. You don't hang around him and act like all is fine. If he wants to have a break, he needs to feel it full force. If that's OK with him, then he's done and gone anyway.