I've been fighting with my best friend a lot lately and I don't think we'll recover from our latest fight. Sometimes she just drives me crazy. Is it right to judge other people's lives? She's not going to college and I'm waiting to see if she'll graduate from high school. She's boy-obsessed, always has to have a boyfriend, and she gets in these moods where she's like I really need to drink, I'm stressed. I'm losing all respect for her and I'm starting to avoid her phone calls because, really, I'm tired of listening to it.

All I want to do is go to the mall and waste our money and talk about positive things. But it's impossible. I'm all for being a shoulder to cry on, but not every single little detail.

So, give me your honest opinion, how badly am I over-reacting and what do I do about it?

First off all, why are you concerned that she is not going to college, if she is yet to graduate high school? Perhaps she has plans that she has not let you onto yet.

ALL teenage girls are boy-obsessed. It's hopefully a phase, and she'll get to the point where she realizes her priorities.

If she has a drinking problem, I think her parents need to be notified or a school counselor. If she starts to get addicted to alcohol as a teen it'll be so much harder for her to stop as an adult. I wouldn't be too concerned with her teenie-bopper behavior, I would be concerned with her possible alcohol addiction.

I think you need to confront her about this issue. If you avoid her because you don't want to hear her talk, are you really being a good friend? I'm sure you blabber on about things that she doesn't necessarily want to hear. But she does it because she is your friend.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rockerchick_682

I've been fighting with my best friend a lot lately and I don't think we'll recover from our latest fight. Sometimes she just drives me crazy. Is it right to judge other people's lives? She's not going to college and I'm waiting to see if she'll graduate from high school. She's boy-obsessed, always has to have a boyfriend, and she gets in these moods where she's like I really need to drink, I'm stressed. I'm losing all respect for her and I'm starting to avoid her phone calls because, really, I'm tired of listening to it.

All I want to do is go to the mall and waste our money and talk about positive things. But it's impossible. I'm all for being a shoulder to cry on, but not every single little detail.

So, give me your honest opinion, how badly am I over-reacting and what do I do about it?

---

Hi RockerChick,

No, it's never good to judge anyone, because we all have areas that we need to work on.

But I can tell you are very uptight about the friendship. When going through difficult times with a friend, it's also helpful to remember why you are friends. What are the good things she brings to a friendship?

Be honest with your friend, and tell her straight up about the drinking and you being concerned. After you destress a bit.

The way to destress is get out a piece of paper, make two columns... one with the stuff that is irritating you, and the other of all the good qualities this girl has and why, despite, all of the drama, you still find her special to you.

It is a lot for you to take on, so I do understand, but sometimes friendships can get rocky and that is when you need each other the most.

Unfornitately, if she is into a destructive behavior mode this might not be the best place for you to be spending your time. If you have plans for school and she does not, maybe it is time to break from this girl and dedicate yourself to your goals. You need to really look at what is important in YOUR life. If this girl is not that important, then breaking from her in a nice way could be a good thing.

I think the list is a great idea, but I'm so focused on negative things right now that it would be pointless. Maybe in a few days:)

About the drinking thing, this is more like once a week, so I don't think she's addicted to alcohol.

I know I definitely have my own problems, and I'm trying to work on them. Mostly keeping everything in and then exploding. I just can't help but lose respect for her. As far as I've heard, her plans for after high school are getting promoted to assistant manager at Walgreens.

We both blab on about things but there's a definite difference between the amount of time I spend talking and she spends talking.