Day 3 of No contact... which I know is nothing in the grand scheme of things. But I've actually been feeling pretty good. I mean, its so much better and calmer than begging and pleading and yelling for 2 weeks straight. And if you read my posts, you can see I've been through this once before so I guess its actually easier the second time around. And I know I shouldn't be thinking about this but what actually puts a smile on my face is thinking of how he's probably wondering why I'm not calling/texting him and it'll only get better and drive him crazy even more the longer I continue.

The only thing that drives me crazy is to start thinking about the future. Rather than thinking about the future in a good way like "I'm going to feel so much better in a couple of months. Now I can go after what I really want in life. Now someday I'll be able to love someone again, my life is going to be great"... I find myself keep thinking like "oh, he's probably going to meet a new girl, fall in love, get married, etc." What's wrong with me? Its put 2 weeks since we broke up and I keep thinking within the next couple of months he's going to have this whole new life and be so much happier with someonelse. I know its so stupid. I need to stop thinking about his life (which will probably be miserable cause he doesn't have awesome me anymore) and how awesome my life is going to be because I won't have his confused miserable self dragging me down.

Breakups suck! I just can never understand how in the matter of literally one month how someone can say "I love you...I can't imagine my life without you..I hope we're together forever" to 3 weeks later saying.. "I can't be in a relationship right now. I need to start a new life".

I know there's no question there. Just wanted to see what's in everyone else's head.. and I'm not alone.

It sucks but venting is great. I might also recommend working out or just taking a walk. Get moving and focus on the good of this situation and not on the bad.

You get 10 points for venting, and not breaking No Contact. Actually you should pat yourself on the back for recognizing the best way to cope with those feelings we know are intense and make you miserable.

Keep on trekking! Give it time, seriously it does get easier. As Chuffmeister says: Get out and about, it really does help and makes you feel great.

Breakups are often such a good reality check and lesson in life. It certainly helped me see what I wanted to accomplish in life and where I want to be. Onwards and upwards :)

Agh! So Day 11 NC. Not a good day. I've been doing really well (or as good as can be expected). We broke up about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I hadn't actually cried in over 2 1/2 weeks. And then today, it suddenly was like "WHAM".. and it hit. I had to leave work early cause I had to come home and start sobbing hysterically! What the f?? To the outside world, it seems like I'm so strong and couldn't care less. My friends and family think I'm doing so great. But I don't know. Inside it's a constant roller coaster. When am I going to feel normal again? When will I be able to function like a normal human being without the constant thoughts? I just MISS HIM!! It hurts so bad. I wish we could have done something to each other to make us hate each other but its not like that. I guess I just loved him more than he loved me. I lost my best friend of 4 years and I'm just supposed to get over it?

You know, the only reason why I think I've been OK the past couple of weeks was because it didn't seem real. It didn't seem like it was actually happening or even if it was I think in the back of my mind I always thought he'd realize his mistake and come running back. But today I just thought, what? He's not coming back. You're only setting yourself up for delayed heartache. And then, bam, I'm crying like a big baby! I never want to let anyone (especially HIM) make me feel this way again!!

I'm sorry, just had to vent. Its like a diary. Maybe someday, I'll come back and read this posts and it will remind me how far I've come.

your doing really well - your not losing it!

I was a wreck for the first 4 weeks at least, an absolute wreck. Over xmas all I did was sit at home looking glum as though a truck had just ran over me.

I'm four months on, I've had minor interuptions of NC, which didn't help at all, but now I'm on day 42 ( another x on the calendar!). I feel better much better than I did at xmas, but I still miss my ex. There isn't a day that goes by without a thought of her popping into my head.

but I'm keeping busy, try and stay active, physically active is my way of getting through it.

I've started jive classes, been to two this week, and they help to take your mind of things, something where u need to concentrate and be active at the same time is a definite no ex thinking time.

your 3 and a half weeks in - I was still in a dreadful place then, but every day you go NC, give ureself a clap, just take it one day at a time, you can't fast forward, you can't be in 2moro you can only be in today.

things will get better. I still hurt loads, but I know that great things will happen in the future.

your not losing it!

your doing good

Thanks jpm! I read some of your other posts and it sounds like we were given pretty similar lines... the "i don't know what i want" speech. It sucks. You can do all the right things. You can be the best person you can be and then suddenly its not enough. At least we can both rest easy, that we didn't do anything wrong or do anything that screwed up our relationships. I have no regrets! I'm irreplaceable!

That's exactly how it is -

I can walk away with my dignity, and my pride and be safe in the knowledge that I did nothing wrong.

I just wasn't wanted anymore by that girl, and id guess you could say we weren't meant to be together.

Time to look to the future,

Good times are ahead.

I've never experience emotional pain like I have the last few months, life had been a breeze!

There's other people out there, you will find your salmon in amongst the sea of tuna.

We have been put back into the river.

Lets swim and see what we find!

I'm off to bed,

Happy thoughts all,

Keep going.

Sometimes its just best to have the NC, but that killer of it is that even though you think "man this is pretty good!" you do get those "man...what if he's happier before me?" I've been there, my ex left, dated, was "so happy and in love, that he didnt know what he was thinking with me.", she left him, and he apologized to me. So just let the thoughts be only thoughts and not actions! I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me :D

Lost - you're so right. I have to keep reminding myself that its not a race I'm trying to win. I find myself thinking "well, i gotta get over this before he does. I have to move on before he does. I have to be happy before he is." Its stupid, I know.

At least I have the luxury of NC. We live 20 miles apart in the NYC area so very little chance of us running into each either... EVER again. And we have our own group of friends so I'm pretty much safe from hearing or knowing anything about his life. And vice versa... which I hope is killing him. Haha I know, I have a long way to go in healing. But day by day... its sinking in.