Ask Me Help Desk - Husbands Hurt

Husbands Hurt

Hello and good day. After 25 years of being creative in and out the bed room, workinging hard,traveling,buying gifts year round, keeping myself well groomed,clean hygiene, giving her all that I could. Why am I all cried out and hurting. I have made her my world and in return I found out from her she just do not like sex.

She probably does not have an orgasm during sex with you. This is a common issue for women. Would you like sex, in spite of all the gifts and travelling if you did not ever orgasm?

I could be wrong. Tell us more please.

After 25 years? Twenty-five? Has she enjoyed sex previously? And if so, do you at least have some idea of the changes in her life that may have led her not to enjoy it now?

Something is amiss here.

God this one could be wrote by my husband, its not you is it?

25 years of marriage? Lets do the math. If you were married at lets say 20+25 that would make her 45? It is very possible that she has started into menopause and her estrogen levels are way down. Or am I reading this wrong and she has never liked sex? Either way, she could talk to her doctor about some hormone replacement supplements. But be very careful of this as it can cause cancer in some women.

If they actually worked for making her want to have sex? Which they never did with me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

She probably does not have an orgasm during sex with you. This is a common issue for women. Would you like sex, in spite of all the gifts and travelling if you did not ever orgasm?

I could be wrong. Tell us more please.

I'll agree with this based on what women have told me in the past as well. SOme women start by faking the big "O" to make you feel good then over time they just keep it up and the poor guy thinks he's doing everything right and she eventually stopps caring she could have satisfaction as well.

If she never told you before its her cross to bear not yours. 99.99% of guys really do need acurate feedback from the woman to know what she needs to get there. If she lies about it you would have to be a fairly attentive guy to pick up on this. THere are cues some of us know she can't fake but in reality few guys can pick up on them.

Perhaps its time she got some therapy because then damage from the lies need not be permanent, for either of you.

I think that a husband who is naïve and eager to please his wife could be fooled by a woman trained to show a man appreciation in bed (such as faked orgasms and fake passion)for quite some time, but 25 years...

My heart goes out to you... such is the misery created by raising women to repress and hold in comtempt the natural sexuality of their being.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

I'll agree with this based on what women have told me in the past as well. SOme women start by faking the big "O" to make you feel good then over time they just keep it up and the poor guy thinks he's doing everything right and she eventually stopps caring she could have satisfaction as well.

If she never told you before its her cross to bear not yours. 99.99% of guys really do need acurate feedback from the woman to know what she needs to get there. If she lies about it you would have to be a fairly attentive guy to pick up on this. THere are cues some of us know she can't fake but in reality few guys can pick up on them.

Perhaps its time she got some therapy because then damage from the lies need not be permanent, for either of you.

This might only be true if she knew unlike I did that women had orgasms, all these years of us together and I knew nothing about it until 3 yrs back when my doctor told me, imagine what a fool I felt, thinking that it was only men that had them all that time, and even more so when I came home and told husband what she had said to me, and then the surprise on his face to find out I really didn't have a clue about it.

Wow

Quote:

Originally Posted by orgless

this might only be true if she knew unlike i did that women had orgasms, all these years of us together and i knew nothing about it til 3 yrs back when my doctor told me, imagine what a fool i felt, thinking that it was only men that had them all that time, and even moreso when i came home and told husband what she had said to me, and then the surprise on his face to find out i really didnt have a clue about it.

True... but you were not pretending to have the big "O" and she was. I do see a big difference between your situation and hers because of that. Having a genuine problem like you apear to have is not the same as pretending everything is perfect because of impatience of mistaken belief that lying about it really helps the situation like she did.

Depending on the guy some (many in fact) could be duped for years. Not every guy is that good are reading women. What's obvious to a woman's though process isn't necessarily obvious to a man and vice versa. Hence the Men are from Mars, women are from Venus analogy.

Quite honestly I wish I knew everything I know now when I was a teenager... oh the fun I could have had back then if I did. No I don't know everything there is to know about women, no man does... (hell it might drive the average man insane if he could figure out a woman's thought process sometimes :eek:... :D ).. but I feel I am way abouve the curve.

Maybe what she is trying to say is not that she doesn't like sex but she doesn't like the type of sex the 2 of you have been havine. Get real... She liked it before with you.. You don't just tell your partner that you don't like it after 25 yrs! Women are more forward then that! I bet what she is really trying to say is that she needs something more! Do your research and see what you can bring into your sex life... toys... an additional person... roll play... touch... ext..

How long has she not enjoyed sex?? That needs to be answered before making any kind of statement concerning this post. Please,, How Long has it been?

It may not be about you and about her. Has her appearance changed much? Is she depressed?

No matter--make an appointment & go with her to show that you care about her and not just sex.

Sometimes women feel ignored and loose interest. After awhile, no sex becomes a normal way of being. Women are raised not to give in--not men. Women can do without (older women) it with no thought in mind. Men however...