Ask Me Help Desk - Addicted to Sex.

Hey guys

I have a problem...

Ever since I lost my virginity at the age of 16 I have been addicted to sex. My first girlfriend was a goddess of sex, and my second girlfriend not so much.

I can't get it out of my head. I keep calling up my first girlfriend just to see if she wants to meet up but she's pretty mad at me.

I want it so bad, I masturbate every time I think of my ex's. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and the only thing that truly calms me down is masturbating.

I feel like it's the only thing that soothes me, and I feel that if I don't get some soon, I might go berserk.

Has it occurred to you that your girlfriend broke up with you because

1. All you think about is sex, and she feels pressured?

Or

2. Because she was "not so much" compared to your first girlfriend?

Learn how to treat women OUTSIDE of the bedroom, without feeling like you HAVE to have it, or all you'll have is your hand for a good long time.

Sex with someone else can make us feel connected, wanted. That doesn't mean that the only thing that will give us that feeling is sex. Masturbation is a good thing, use it. Spend some time with women while having no plans to have sex with them. There is more to people than sex, that's why god gave us hands and imaginations.

It's OK to feel crazy with desire. It's not OK to act crazy or to abuse others because of it. Some day you will meet a woman who wants it as much as you. A wonderful day that will be! In the meantime, learn, learn, learn.

Anytime a person says the word addiction; that is, thinks of him or herself as getting addicted to something, that is serious...

Seriously, the best sex is part of a well balanced life... ya got to add positive stuff to your life like participation in sports, for one example. Having a well balanced life helps a person so that he/she doesn't become fixated on stuff and then, fall into negative thinking and doing.

Sexual feelings can be overwhelming... ya just got to live through your young years and come out into adulthood a whole individual. :)

Best wishes in 2008!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colossal

Hey guys

I have a problem...

Ever since I lost my virginity at the age of 16 I have been addicted to sex. My first girlfriend was a goddess of sex, and my second girlfriend not so much.

I can't get it out of my head. I keep calling up my first girlfriend just to see if she wants to meet up but she's pretty mad at me.

I want it so bad, I masturbate everytime I think of my ex's. As a matter of fact I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and the only thing that truly calms me down is masturbating.

I feel like it's the only thing that soothes me, and I feel that if I don't get some soon, I might go berserk.

Research into masturbation reveals that it is the healthiest form of satisfying one's sexual needs... as long as its done in one's privacy. Of course many other negatives such as STIs, unwanted pregnancy , hurting someone else's feeling etc. are eliminated. Young people should go this route to help explore their own bodies plus they can always apply the knowledge later in adulthood. Imagine being able to tell your future hubby/wife what your sexual needs are and even which part of your body gives you pleasure when being caressed.

You need to talk with someone, if your so stuck on one thing. How old are you? If your still in school a trusted teacher, or counselor, or adult (father?)can help. Its normal to have those raging hormones, but we cope with them, and not let them lead us to obsessive unhealthy behavior.

Well when anything becomes a chronic event that interferes with normal life it's a problem. Doesn't matter if its masturbation, hand cleaning, eating, etc... moderation of most things is fine. Its when it becomes an obsessive interference, then its time to change things up.

Using it to calm you isn't the worst thing in the world, but in the end you'll need to get over your ex's with your mind, and maybe this is your temporary crutch. At some point, you need to be able to deal with stress mentally... while a nice orgasm can certainly change the world for the better, there are times when you are just going to have to learn how to muck through the noise without your hand down your pants. Again... balance is good.

So... I'm not saying I haven't self stim'd to take the edge off, just as I've talked my partner into the bedroom to help make a bad day better.

But you said yourself it's a problem. You see it as such. Why?

Do you think you aren't coping with the breakups? Are you just ashamed? Is it interferring with your normal life? What exactly about what you are doing bothers you and what do you think the consequences are if you keep up as is?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colossal

Hey guys

I have a problem...

Ever since I lost my virginity at the age of 16 I have been addicted to sex. My first girlfriend was a goddess of sex, and my second girlfriend not so much.

I can't get it out of my head. I keep calling up my first girlfriend just to see if she wants to meet up but she's pretty mad at me.

I want it so bad, I masturbate everytime I think of my ex's. As a matter of fact I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and the only thing that truly calms me down is masturbating.

I feel like it's the only thing that soothes me, and I feel that if I don't get some soon, I might go berserk.

So masturbating isn't really the problem, it's being consumed with wanting to have more sex, right?

I'm making a big assumption here that you're still a teenager, or 18 or so? My youthful experience (and I have a son around your age) leads me to believe that masturbating (whether once or three times a day) isn't wrong or harmful and I think it's way safer than having sex anyway. At your age, the sex drive is very high and the chemistry in your body won't settle down for a few years to come.

I wouldn't beat myself up or think badly of myself because of a high sex drive. It is OK, and jacking off is a normal thing for guys.

Enjoy your time alone and give yourself pleasure, fantasizing about your former g/f or whatever. Know in time that with the right person, and in the right time / place, you will be able to experience those wonderful feeling of intimacy again.

It is my opinion that ANY 16 year old boy wants to have sex every hour of every day and that lasts well into their 30's. I don't think you are addicted> I think you are experiencing puberty and sexual maturation.