I have to go to court on Thursday 4/10/08 for the judge to decide if he will continue the TPO against my abusive husband. I have several police reports to back up my allegations. He has hired an attorney to refute my claims and my attorney tells me that she will try to get a mutual consent agreement which essentially means I will consent to a mutual restraining order. Why should I do this when he is the abuser? Furthermore, what are the chances of the judge dropping the TPO against him? I had one against him in 2000 and my cousin recently had a restraining order against him last year for verbal threats. Can someone advise me because I am a nervous wreck and it's hard to get in touch with my attorney. Oh yeah, I have filed for a divorce which he is contesting everything to make me spend money.

Sounds like he's being a jerk about the whole thing. The judge in an abundance of caution will more than likely grant your restraining order against the husband. There is one problem though with a restraining order. It tends to make the other person want to push your buttons so to speak once the order is entered against them. The cops can only do something to the person once they actually violate the order - not before. Even if you don't get an order against him you can still call the police should he harm you. The fact you have prior police reports to back up your need for an order tells me that the judge will grant your order. You don't have to agree to a mutual restraining order but I don't see the harm if that's what it takes to get one against him. And yes, it does sound like he's going to try and run up your attorney's bill out of sheer spite. Have seen this happen many times in divorce proceedings. I hope you have a very understanding attorney. Also if you are going for a divorce, be sure to ask for your attorney's fees. Also if he keeps contesting everything that you file you can ask for your attorney's fees should you win that particular mini battle. He just might stop contesting things when he sees that he's going to have double attorney's fees in the end.

Insist that your attorney present the police reports to the court and ask that the reports be made a part of the record in your case. This means you will have to testify about the incidents, or your attorney can cross-examine your husband about the contents of the reports. Do this in both the hearing on protective order and the temporary hearing on the divorce case. Sounds like you have two different cases and perhaps two judges.

I know exactly what you are going through and in my past experiences with restraining orders the judge is almost obligated to grant you a permanent restraing order because if he doesn't and god forbid anything real bad happen to you it will haunt that judge forever.