Six year relationship (possibly) ending
My girlfriend and I have been together for six years now. Since we were juniors in high school we have been together through good times and bad. I only had one girlfriend before her and she has never had another serious boyfriend. Now I am a senior in college about to graduate in a month. She is in a program that sends her off to an accounting internship for four months for a big company. We have stayed together even though there was distance involved before. While she has been there she has been treated to anything she wants, the best restaurants, the nicest bars every night, all paid for. I have been kind of intimidated by this because I can't really provide anything of this nature for her and I felt that she would start getting grandiose thoughts of herself and leave me. So I kind of pushed her away a bit preparing myself for the worst and not giving her the attention and love that I should have.
So I went and visited her this past weekend and was having a bad day. I was mad and annoyed with a situation that didn't involve her. I also had noticed that she had been pretty distant with me, not holding my hand or giving me the usual kisses that she does. So I was also feeling that she was pushing me away and she confronted me about being mad. So I told her how I was feeling and we got in an argument. She started crying and told me that she needed to talk to me but later. So I yelled at her and forced her to tell me right that second. She told me that she wanted to be single because she wasn't fully into our relationship anymore. She told me that she had been going out and having fun with all her new friends and that she felt like she was settling in staying with me. She said that she wants to be independent and wants space and ti not feel like she always has to worry about going out or calling me all the time. I asked her if she could just stick it out with me until her internship ends in a month and things would go back to normal. She told me that she didn't want to stay with me because she felt that she had to anymore.
Lots of arguing ensued and I was just trying to tell her that we have been together six years and to end it this way is not fair and I think a rash decision because she had never even confronted me with any of this before. She told me that it was not me that it was her. So I told her to please give it a week and I would leave her alone and if she still feels the same way in a week then we would end it. After arguing for a bit she agreed to it.
So I drove back home and am completely devastated. Can't eat, can't sleep, all I do is think about her and how I don't want to lose her. We have so many memories together, a dog together, we planned to live together when she came back from her internship. All these things keep running through my head and I have no idea what to do about it. I just don't know why this happened. I think that what I feared the most has happened. I told her that her life at the internship is not real life it's a fantasy world because all they do is go out to the best places and go to events and stuff like that and that's not really how life is. I really believe that this new world has gotten to her head and she has forgotten that there is a home that she is going to come back to and realize that she threw six years away for nothing. So in this week I am (trying) not to call her or contact her and told her if she wants to talk she knows how to reach me.
So my question is what do I do about the situation? It is torcher because I can't even see her or talk to her. Do I just let her go and forget about this whole week of thinking time? Do I just wait and hope that she decides to stay with me? I know its not healthy to hold on with hope but I refuse to give up on us. Part of me just wants to tell her if you want to be single then be single for the rest of the time you are there and then come back and we can be together. Part of me wants to wait out the week and just hope that she changes her mind. Absolutely no part of me wants this to end.
This is really long...
Edit: Well have a tiny little update to the story. I had told her that I wouldn't be calling her in this little week thinking period and if she wanted to talk to me to call me. Well it was the first day of the official little break and she called last night. Naturally I was really happy about this and we had a nice conversation and didn't talk about us at all. I wanted her to know that I still cared however so as we were about to hang up I told her that I loved her. She said it back. I'm not going to lie this phone call did give me a little hope and calmed me down a bit for awhile. Don't know if this was the right move for myself or the relationship but I thought it best at the time and still do. I don't want her to think that I am mad that she has doubt but that I understand and still do care. I refuse to give up on us until we are officially dead which might be soon unfortunately. The past two days have been the worst I've experienced in a long time and I just wish things would work out or I could turn off these emotions. On a side note I am very proud of myself for not giving in and calling/texting her yesterday. Don't know how many times I looked at the phone and wanted to dial her number just to hear her voice. Did I make the right decision in answering the phone? I know that she needs to miss me to realize that she is making the wrong decision and talking to her probably isn't going to help that. Just didn't want her to think I was mad. I'll keep everyone updated until the conclusion...