My girlfriend and I have been together for six years now. Since we were juniors in high school we have been together through good times and bad. I only had one girlfriend before her and she has never had another serious boyfriend. Now I am a senior in college about to graduate in a month. She is in a program that sends her off to an accounting internship for four months for a big company. We have stayed together even though there was distance involved before. While she has been there she has been treated to anything she wants, the best restaurants, the nicest bars every night, all paid for. I have been kind of intimidated by this because I can't really provide anything of this nature for her and I felt that she would start getting grandiose thoughts of herself and leave me. So I kind of pushed her away a bit preparing myself for the worst and not giving her the attention and love that I should have.

So I went and visited her this past weekend and was having a bad day. I was mad and annoyed with a situation that didn't involve her. I also had noticed that she had been pretty distant with me, not holding my hand or giving me the usual kisses that she does. So I was also feeling that she was pushing me away and she confronted me about being mad. So I told her how I was feeling and we got in an argument. She started crying and told me that she needed to talk to me but later. So I yelled at her and forced her to tell me right that second. She told me that she wanted to be single because she wasn't fully into our relationship anymore. She told me that she had been going out and having fun with all her new friends and that she felt like she was settling in staying with me. She said that she wants to be independent and wants space and ti not feel like she always has to worry about going out or calling me all the time. I asked her if she could just stick it out with me until her internship ends in a month and things would go back to normal. She told me that she didn't want to stay with me because she felt that she had to anymore.

Lots of arguing ensued and I was just trying to tell her that we have been together six years and to end it this way is not fair and I think a rash decision because she had never even confronted me with any of this before. She told me that it was not me that it was her. So I told her to please give it a week and I would leave her alone and if she still feels the same way in a week then we would end it. After arguing for a bit she agreed to it.

So I drove back home and am completely devastated. Can't eat, can't sleep, all I do is think about her and how I don't want to lose her. We have so many memories together, a dog together, we planned to live together when she came back from her internship. All these things keep running through my head and I have no idea what to do about it. I just don't know why this happened. I think that what I feared the most has happened. I told her that her life at the internship is not real life it's a fantasy world because all they do is go out to the best places and go to events and stuff like that and that's not really how life is. I really believe that this new world has gotten to her head and she has forgotten that there is a home that she is going to come back to and realize that she threw six years away for nothing. So in this week I am (trying) not to call her or contact her and told her if she wants to talk she knows how to reach me.

So my question is what do I do about the situation? It is torcher because I can't even see her or talk to her. Do I just let her go and forget about this whole week of thinking time? Do I just wait and hope that she decides to stay with me? I know its not healthy to hold on with hope but I refuse to give up on us. Part of me just wants to tell her if you want to be single then be single for the rest of the time you are there and then come back and we can be together. Part of me wants to wait out the week and just hope that she changes her mind. Absolutely no part of me wants this to end.

This is really long...

Edit: Well have a tiny little update to the story. I had told her that I wouldn't be calling her in this little week thinking period and if she wanted to talk to me to call me. Well it was the first day of the official little break and she called last night. Naturally I was really happy about this and we had a nice conversation and didn't talk about us at all. I wanted her to know that I still cared however so as we were about to hang up I told her that I loved her. She said it back. I'm not going to lie this phone call did give me a little hope and calmed me down a bit for awhile. Don't know if this was the right move for myself or the relationship but I thought it best at the time and still do. I don't want her to think that I am mad that she has doubt but that I understand and still do care. I refuse to give up on us until we are officially dead which might be soon unfortunately. The past two days have been the worst I've experienced in a long time and I just wish things would work out or I could turn off these emotions. On a side note I am very proud of myself for not giving in and calling/texting her yesterday. Don't know how many times I looked at the phone and wanted to dial her number just to hear her voice. Did I make the right decision in answering the phone? I know that she needs to miss me to realize that she is making the wrong decision and talking to her probably isn't going to help that. Just didn't want her to think I was mad. I'll keep everyone updated until the conclusion...

I hate to hear anyone going through this however, I don't feel you are making it any easier on yourself by waiting around. She clearly stated that she wans to be single, so give her that. You love her right? Of course you do. Then give her what she wants, give her the time and space she needs. You may right, it may be that she is lost in this dream world of hers. If that is the case, she has to realize this in her own time. You explaining it to her is not going to help. No matter what you do, don't give her the idea that you will wait no matter how long it takes, because she may just make you do that. If she knows that you are going to wait for her, then why wouldn't she do her own thing (you have now made yourself the "fall back"). Have you ever heard the saying "As long as you owe me I'll never be broke"? Well relationships can be the same way. As long as she knows you're waiting, she'll never fear lonliness (no matter what she chooses to do). Let her go. If she is truly lost in this dream world, she'll find you when she returns. It may be that you get back together then, or it may be that she is too late and you've found someone new. If it will make you feel better to give her this week, then do so, but NO longer. You must move on with your life like she plans to do with hers! I wish you the best of luck!

<3 Leslie

Hey man I can relate to you and I know how much it sucks. You need to take it for what it is and move on. I know its easier said then done but the chances of you guys getting back together anytime soon is slim to none. This may have been out of the blue for you but I can guarantee that she has been thinking about it for some time.

When you speak with her next I recommend that you do your best to end it on a good note. The worse thing you can do is give her any ultimatums, time frames or beg for her back. Do not give her the impression that you will wait for her either. After you two part it will be time to start the No Contact rule. Its going to be tough, but trust me it is the best thing you can do for yourself.

The not holding hands and being distant is a tell-tale sign of a break-up. As for itnot being fair to you, I don't think that is true friend. In your state of mind you would have been married and so anything short of that is unfair.

6 years is a long time, sometimes people want to see whatelse is out there rather than being committed to one person their whole life. Perhaps she just needs time to be alone and think. As for hergetting caught up in her new life, again, I'm not so sure. 6 years does not end overnight, it was probably something she considered long before it actually came to be.

She may indeed need space and want what she had before with you, to be honest though, these things rarely turn out the way we hope. Nothing I can write is going to make the next little while better for you and I feel bad for you. However, you contacting her will only make the suffering longer and harder, you need to see the whole picture.

Sorry friend.

Your stories reminds me of the joke "Gay guys have it easy". It sure sounds like that girl is living in a dream world and you are a BURDEN in that world! Ahahahaah All you have done for her and you are the BURDEN! Miserable woman. Anyway, the key to winning your girlfriend back is EASY. You ready for it? Here it is. CALM anger/disappointment. You have to visualize her weakness and her pissing you off without getting in a rage. If you can do that, you have her back. If you can't do it, you won't come back. When she calls, just say CALMLY, that you were hurt by what she said/did and that you think she didn't make a wise decision. Women win all arguments, always. The key to win? Don't paticipate in the argument. SILENCE. Just say "I don't have anything to say about that". DON'T GET ANGRY. DON'T GET UPSET. Its all about alpha male behaviors. Then go No contact. If she really wants you, she will fight to get you back, if not you have lost her for good (ACTUALLY she has LOST you for good!). Learn from my mistakes, brother!

Accept she is gone, and do your best to cut contact. That's for you, and your own sanity, not hers. Give her what she wants, its her life, and she has been think about this a while. Its still a shock to you. 6 years of being with someone, can really leave a big hole in your life, and will take time, and work, to fill, and that also means coping with a whole array of intense feelings. Start with no contact, and start working on building your life back, with out her in it. There are no short cuts, or magic pills, to spare you the pain, but click on the links in my signature, for some really good suggestions as to what to do, at times like this. Let me know if they apply to your situation. Sorry for your loss.

Destro3000 disagrees: I don't know.. I don't think fighting for love is such a bad plan... I wouldn't give up so easily

Naturally that is your first instinct as of mine, but after having experiencing a very similar situation and reading dozens of other breakup stories I have learned that chasing her is not the best course of action to take. Pressuring her to stay with him is only going to push her further away. This girl already has her mind made up and although he may be able to stall it, it is only going to be temporary. Both these people need time and space to clear their heads to truly figure out what they want. Chasing her around is only going to lead to more confusion.

From my own personal experiences, I'd say your best bet is to just stay away from her for the time being. If you fight for her and let her know how much you care, you WILL drive her away. Fighting for love involves fighting against your own feelings, not for someone else's. If you end goal is to get her back, give her time to realize she misses you and wants you back. If she doesn't truly ever want those things, there is no point in you fighting in the first place, right?

Your best chance of success is to let her come back to you. She already knows how you feel so let her be. I know it sucks to hear and you've probably heard it a million times, but if it is meant to be, it still will be. Just stay busy in the meantime and do not contact her for a little while at least.