Hi, its my first time to ask a question for all of you guys... ;)

And here it goes...

I have my first boyfriend and we've been together for 5 years from now... we've always fight everyday... even in a small things... because of all his stupid lies... some say its just a white lies but how come if he's always doing it to me? He's always lying and because of this its hurting me so much... and I'm sick and tired of it... Even we've already talked about it and have a good promise for it but still he keeps lying again and again... I really don't know why he's always doing that to me... :(

He's damn big lier!?

But still... I love him and I don't want to lose him...

I tried once to forget him but I can't... :(

Is there a way to cure him and stop lying to me? Can I do something about it for him to stop?

First, I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Trust is essential in a relationship. What happens is, when he is telling you the truth, how will you know? It's a vicious circle.

And no, there isn't anything that you can do to help him. He has to do this on his own.
Depending on the extent of his lying, he may need to talk to a professional, to find out why he does lie so much.

You probably are not the only one he is lying to, it more then likely has become habit forming for him.

Sadly, we can not do anything to change someone else's habits. But what you can say to him, is, " I love you for the person that you are, and lying is not you, it is not who you are.
I want to trust your every word, and I want you to trust mine, and it hurts me to think, that
there may come a day when I can't trust anything that you say".

Sometimes, it can also be a self-esteem issue, afraid to be "real", afraid to be who they really are. That you can help, by be sure he understands, that you love him for who he is, truly.

You can also say to him, " I know how deeply I would hurt you, if I ever lied to you, and I would never want to do that".

I hope this helps and I sure you feel at a bit of a loss, but remember, you can not change him, but you can help him by exposing this as a concern.

My very best to you,
Allheart

Thank you Allheart... I hope someday he will change for me... maybe your right... I couldn't help him or anybody else... he's the only one who could help himself... your answer helps me a lot... Thank you..

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Originally Posted by andreaamord

... I hope someday he will change for me....

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You are more then welcome!! And your picture is just beautiful!

But see what you said above? That is where your heartache comes in. You, think "If he really loved me, he would change". And when he continues to lie, then that's when your heart starts.

He needs to change for himself and do it for himself. And with a darling like you in his life,
I am sure and I am hoping he does.

Hehehe... thanks Allheart... :D

Yeah! Your probably right... two thumbs up for you! ;) you're a great coach for me...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by andreaamord

hehehe... thanks Allheart... :D

yeah! your probably right... two thumbs up for you! ;) your a great coach for me...

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Sweetheart - You make it easy!! You're a doll :).

Keep smiling and have that heart to heart with your boyfriend.

I agree with Allheart basically.
He could be a compulsive liar which is a hard habit to break.
You need to make sure you call him on each and everyone of his lies as they happen so that he learns he can not pull one over on you and then maybe he will stop.
Some people are insecure and lie to make themselves look 'better' to others.
Often if it is bad enough they could have what you could call delusions of grandeur.

A serious problem with his lies to make things appear what they are not. Is that if he is telling others that his life is something different from what it is and people see it is not all that great as he makes it out to be they can start looking at you as 'the idiot' that must agree with it all.

If he is lying to you about where he goes, what he does and who he sees then I would take it more serious as he is likely trying to hide something from you that is not good.

With all that lying, how do you know if its him you love, or the person who is hiding the truth. Yes he must want to change, but that doesn't mean you must put up with this behavior, and for 5 years? That's a little much for me. This doesn't sound like your all that happy, and maybe your afraid of making changes, or being without him. Whatever the reason, this has gotten unhealthy for you both. That really needs to change, and it looks like it's up to you. Does he lie about everything every day? That's sick!

Does he lie about evertyhing?u sound like a really great girl, and you should not take any lies, yep er I go dishin it out when I can't even do it myself but I find that the more people tell me the same thing the stronger I get, and I realize that I do not deserve lies and neither do you and you will also realise that the more answers you get the more self confidence and believe you will have in yourself, you are not alone and I an working through the same process with you. Xx you are young you do not need a life of lies as your future really do you want to be asking the same questionnin 10 years?? Good luck x

Yeah... he's lying everything to me... that's really not good for me and for our relationship... but I hope he will soon realized everything he do... thanks for your concern and support Nohelp4u, talaniman & fzc7392... especially to Allheart. All of u guyz help me so much... that makes me feel comfort and happy with everything u have said to me... because even we don't know each other, still all of you giving me a time to answer my question. Thanks a lot...