I'm 21 and embarressed about my breasts. There's a medical name for my problem 'tubular breasts'. It's not so much the breast that I'm worried about because they're very small anyway so the weird shape isn't so noticeable but I hate my puffy, sticky out areola.

I'm so embarresed by them that I've never been able to be topless around guys. I normally don't get close to guys on purpose so that it never gets to the point where they'd see me naked but all my friends are coupling up and I just feel so alone. I don't want to have to hide myself forever and there's this guy I met recently and I really like him but I'd rather not get close to him than him be disgusted by me and tell all our friends.

I am considering surgery but if I do then that won't be for several months yet. In the mean time what do I do? Do I keep hiding or do I go for it? But then how do I approach the subject? Do I warn him first? Please help! :confused:

Dating isn't about sex. That's short-sighted in almost every single case. You have no need to go topless around men, other than sexual interaction.

Keep your clothes on. Stop thinking about it. Focus on getting to know him, not getting to know his thoughts about your breasts. This is you doing bad things to your own mind.

Every surgery risks your life, so make sure your personal discomfort with your body is worth the risk. It rarely is.

I agree with the above poster. Work at getting to know each other and stop focusing so much on what is wrong with you and focus more on what is right with you. Once you get to know each other and he becomes more and more fond of you this little problem of yours will become less and less significant. There are more important things to concentrate on in relationships.

Just like the ones above.

You don't have to go straight into being sexual with this person.
It takes a while to build that connection.. but if the relationship does become stronger that's when you break it down to him, have you and a friend discuss the possibilities of getting the surgery or something else etc, but as for now, you should just be trying to make yourself happy. :]

I want to tell you that I'm in my early 30s and I've learned to love my breasts, their natural shape and size. Like you, I've struggled with negative body image, but this is mostly because our society seems to always celebrate largeness, in this case bust size. "Tubular" is a description of shape; mine are more cone-shaped but they are small (the base wide and the areolas on the large side). I won't lie: quite a few men have seen me naked, and surprise (or not) -contrary to widespread belief- many men are not into breasts much. Many of them like the backside, a round firm bottom. Many men love small breasts, so be yourSELF and the RIGHT man will love you and YOUR BODY THE WAY IT IS. But back to the breasts: I never seriously considered surgery. There are so may con's that the option turns me off, and plus, they don't tell you this: RESURGERY I$ A GIVEN. I love the look and feel of natural breasts anyway. One thing also that can help you build a positive perspective about your body is to look at fashion and photography magazines and books, and yes, porn. I say porn too because really look at it and you'll find that there are so many different body types that turn people on, it's ridiculous. Human nature loves variety, and males are not only visual creatures, women are as well. There are many small-breasted women posing and being celebrated as beautiful. I found a picture of a German model in a European magazine--She was topless and had breasts just like mine! Just goes to show you that beauty is subjective. It will always be this way.

Just tell your partner whoever it may be that you have something about yourself your not comfortable with and start explaing yourself. If your with the right person he won't be shallow about it and will shrug it off and say "whatever babe I still want you..." or something like that. The wrong guy will not be pleased with what you have to say and then you'll know he was only after one thing. Put yourself in their shoes. If a man was embarrassed to tell you he had one testicle or something and then finally told you but you loved him or really cared for him, you wouldn't shooe him off. You'd help him feel more comfortable... right?

Just say it before sex... " hey I'm gonna take off my top but I'm not very comfortable with my breasts ok... their just too small." simple see. He probably won't say too much. Its not like that effects the sex in anyway

If this guy really likes you he won't care about what your breasts look like. Nobody is perfect and I'm sure that there is some insecurity that everybody has when they're naked.

Hey Confused9876,

I agree with the other posters, you do need to get to know this guy or any other guy your interested in. Only when your comfortable enough to go topless with someone is when you should. There is, in one way, a bright side to this situation. It's a perfect gauge for when you should be having sex or whatever with someone because so many people have rushed into this act and regretted.

Also, I'd like to tell you that I am also in a similar situation. I have large breasts and am extremely self conscious about them. I waited until I was comfortable with someone to go topless. So much so, that it wasn't a problem at all. I wanted to give all of me to him. (as corny as that sounds!) Although I understand that yours is a medical condition, believe me I know what it is to be crippled with embarrassment.

Also another little thing, I remember the first man that I was with that didn't mind at all if I kept my bra on. He was a friend with benefits so it he already knew how I felt about it.

Anyway before I get carried away with this story... what I'm trying to say is that there really is light at the end of the tunnel! :p

No u shouldn't hide... u should go out with him and if it gets serious then let him know how u feel... and if he dumps u for that then he wasent the one for u... try it..

Realistically it's a good idea to see how shallow he is before you decide to date him. Sadly some guys have a certain level of shallow standards that they will let some things get by but not others. You can probe him in a suttle way by asking questions when you are talking such as what's your favorite features of a girl or would he date a woman he wasn't physically attracted to. Mind you you're not referring to yourself, his answers will help determine what's more important to him. Also before you decide on surgery, look into it and get different opinions form people or even Google it. Hope I was helpful.