Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   Sex Problems (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=202050)

  • Apr 3, 2008, 02:48 PM
    13sldr
    Sex Problems
    First off I am posting this here because I am not an "adult" yet, but anyway

    Me and my girlfriend have kind of been talking about having sex. We both know eachothers past and we want to have sex, not for the pleasure but just to share that meaning with each other, one of the many draw back is, I am addicted to sex. Once I get a taste of it, I can't stop! I am not streching the truth, when I talk to my friends about their pasts at first they sound worse then me but once I tell them how many times I have had sex, I feel kind of manwhoreish she knows this and we have kind of put it off for now, but I am worried, will I be like this my whole life? Will I beable to have a good marriage?
  • Apr 3, 2008, 02:52 PM
    Curlyben
    How old are both of you as this is very important information before anyone will offer any advice ?
  • Apr 3, 2008, 02:54 PM
    svatnsdal
    You are very young, and it's normal for young men to want sex, sex, and sex. I would say, go talk to a doctor. Also, make sure you always use a condom! One time with no protection could be a serious disaster. One day you will learn the difference between sex, and making love. Always be open to your partner and always ask questions. I would say you are a very remarkable man to find somewhere to open up and ask! Most boys don't have the courage to ask, it's always better to ask.
    Overall, I don't think you're old enough for someone to tell you it's never going to stop. That's why I say, go speak to a doctor. If you are like this your whole life, that's okay, it's normal.
  • Apr 3, 2008, 04:04 PM
    13sldr
    I am 17 and she is 16
  • Apr 3, 2008, 05:11 PM
    13sldr
    Let me also add(so I don't get a lecture rather than help) both of our families are well of and if I were to get her pregnant. We would be able to support a baby finnacualy.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 07:15 AM
    ang8318
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 13sldr
    let me also add(so i dont get a lecture rather than help) both of our families are well of and if i were to get her prego. we would be able to support a baby finnacualy.

    Would you be able to support a baby? Or would your parents? Not a lecture, just pointing something out. Would you really want a baby at 17? Anyway, I think you need to discuss this with your parents, and I would suggest your GF getting on birth control, just in case.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 07:43 AM
    Smoked
    If you think you have an addiction you need to seek help. Medical, godly or otherwise. What do you think that having sex will do for your relationship? Do you think you will be closer? Do you think it will validate it? You are young man, be careful in your decision during these years because they will stick with you forever.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 10:58 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 13sldr
    let me also add(so i dont get a lecture rather than help) both of our families are well of and if i were to get her prego. we would be able to support a baby finnacualy.

    It isn't up to your families to financially support a baby.
    You, on the other hand, would be responsible for financial, emotional, physical, legal, and spiritual support of any children you could have. Are you ready for that?
    Based on this alone, I HIGHLY recommend waiting to have sex. This mentality proves that you are not mature enough to handle the possible consequences of sex. Just because you've had it before doesn't mean you should continue to.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 11:09 AM
    Alty
    Firstly, you are young. All young men want sex, 24/7 if they could get it. It's quite possible that your feelings are normal, but if you are worried then talk to a therapist about it.

    Secondly, sex will not make your relationship more meaningful, really it won't. How long have the two of you been together? You are both still so young, take some time before you jump into sex.

    Thirdly, if you decide to take that next step then be mature about it and use birth control. I can't stress this enough, Birth control, birth control, birth control, PLEASE! Even if your parents are willing and able to support an unwanted pregnancy (which isn't their responsibility) you still need to consider the effect it will have on you and your girlfriend, and foremost, the child. Take every precaution to avoid pregnancy, there are enough babies being born to teens out there, don't add another.

    Good luck, I hope you come to the right decision. Oh, and let me point out. I think that deep down you posted this because you know that you aren't ready to take this step with her, think about it.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 11:20 AM
    Benjimeister
    I just want to say that I agree with most the above, Think carefully about it, and if you decide to have sex. USE A CONDOM.
  • Apr 4, 2008, 02:30 PM
    svatnsdal
    Everyone thinks they can support a baby. It's not just money, it's a hell of a lot of time and energy.
    I'm 34, engaged to a great man, with no kids and loving life to the fullest! I spent my twenties travelling Europe and taking school courses trying to figure out what I wanted. I could never have done any of this, if I had a baby.
    I have a friend who is two years older then me. She envy's me! She is a single mother and loves her kids, but knows what she lost due to having them.
    Having children is a wonderful thing! Please don't think I'm saying it isn't. It is best to wait till you're at least well over 20 (I think over 30 is better). Life is long and there is billions of things to do. Once you bring a child into your life, things are no longer that easy.
    It is very easy to have sex, or make love, and never bring a child into the world. I've been doing it a long time and so has many other people. Don't bring a child into the world when you, yourself, is still a child. No one can stop you from having sex, just make sure you use a condom, use every form of birth control out there.
    Plus your girlfriend, you both think you love each other, but I don't think either one of you really know what love is. Yes, I could be wrong. If you two were to have a child and realize you really don't love each other, you two are stuck together for the next 18 years!
    Oh and last. If you're a man, or plan on becoming a man, you will earn your own money and not take the hand downs! A man/woman work for their own money, they earn their money. They don't take it from their parents!
  • Apr 5, 2008, 11:25 AM
    MOWERMAN2468
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 13sldr
    let me also add(so i dont get a lecture rather than help) both of our families are well of and if i were to get her prego. we would be able to support a baby finnacualy.

    Sure you would, and when you get out and get a job, they won't mind that you can't spell. And as for the lecture, YOU are TOO young now. And that is all I will say.
  • Apr 5, 2008, 11:29 AM
    MOWERMAN2468
    Way too young.
  • Apr 6, 2008, 10:30 AM
    13sldr
    Wow, its funny how only a few people have answered my question and everyone else is telling me I'm too young or I wouldn't beable to support a kid, if I wanted to aruge if I could or not then I would have posted a forum. This forum was posted so I can see if sex could be a problem for me in the future
  • Apr 6, 2008, 10:40 AM
    Alty
    I gave you an answer to your question. You are young and it's more than normal to think about sex and want sex all the time at your age. If it starts to affect your every day life, stops you from doing other activities then I think you have a problem, otherwise, you're just a normal teen.

    As for the advice, we just don't want to see you do something that you will regret later. None of us gave that advice to be mean, and we honestly don't want to lecture you, but we are all older people who've lived through the teen years and believe it or not we do remember what it's like. Personally, I made a lot of mistakes were sex was concerned, and I can't ever take that back, so be careful, you only get one shot.

    Good luck to you.
  • Apr 7, 2008, 11:19 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 13sldr
    wow, its funny how only a few people have answered my question and everyone else is telling me im too young or i wouldnt beable to support a kid, if i wanted to aruge if i could or not then i would have posted a forum. this forum was posted so i can see if sex could be a problem for me in the future

    Yes, it can be a problem for you in the future... for all the reasons we've pointed out.
    STD's, pregnancy, emotional issues, etc. Sex is an act with extreme consequences that you must be willing to accept if you are willing to "do it".

    Look, if the posters here didn't see a potential problem with your situation, we wouldn't have taken our time to answer you the way we did. Try and see some value in that before you dismiss this entirely.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:14 PM.