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foreplay isn't just for her head, to mentally get her mind ready for sex. I know you mentioned she is very tight, and the issue might not be proper lubrication, but id start there first.
Foreplay causes chemicals in her body to prepare her to receive you. The changes that occur with foreplay are
- the vagina actually changes shape, called a "ballooning" effect, where it partly widens and deepens to better receive the man
- the blood that rushes to the pelvis engorges tissues that actually "tighten" the proximal section of the vagina, with the tissues engorged with blood applying pressure and friction on the male. So more room on the back portion from elongation, a tighter "cuff" on the front side for friction
-the vagina begins to self lubricate, sometimes called vaginal "sweating" because it looks like that... little beads of "sweat" over the walls of the vagina
-the vulvovaginal ducts also lubricate the woman naturally
So foreplay is in your best interest as it best prepares her body.
Obviously your going slowly, letting her body relax and receive you, is smart.
That said, a woman can be lubricated but not ready for sex mentally, or she can be mentally ready for sex, but not well lubricated, even with foreplay.
So... the "addendum" concerns vaginal health. I know, you're a guy, and guys squirm at fem hygiene adds on TV... but you asked for help so here it is...
Obviously you might need to use a lubricant if foreplay doesn't do the job... and by foreplay I don't mean kiss, play with her breasts, and go straight for intercourse... I mean you take time to sensitize her in ways SHE likes... not what you like. But that's a completely different post... so lubricants might help... make sure the lubricant doesn't compromise condoms if that's your method of birth control. But before that, consider helping her body first.
Dryness is a condition that can be brought about from many things.
Is she a smoker? This can lower estrogen, which can cause dryness.
Does she take any meds, like allergy or antidepresants? Again, some meds can interfere with estrogen levels.
Things you do to the vagina can effect it... such as... get ready for it... douching. A young woman who is worried about being "clean" might be overdoing it. Bubblebaths, cleaning with acidic cleaners (vinegar), even use of inserted feminine hygiene products can all contribute to a dryness problem. Also, is she properly hydrated? Even drinking more water might help.
So... I'm not telling you to demand she takes showers and not bubble baths, use pads and not tampons, forgo douching (if she thinks she has an "imbalance" there are other ways to treat), and to stop smoking...
But these are all natural things she can try to improve her body's response... might help, might not.
Supposedly soy foods can help if estrogen is low, but I'm not sure I've seen strong evidence for this. Is a common thing mentioned for women going through early menopause... who face a similar situation due to low estrogen.
After all of this... if you try to stim her body to get the best response, and she tries a few things (hydration, cleaning changes) and nothing improves, she might want to talk to her medical provider.
There is a condition called vaginismus where a woman has difficulty with painful pelvic spasms during sex. Again... this is something for her to talk about with a medical provider, but after you try some other things first.
Talking to a med provider can be a hard thing for some to do. Who wants to go to the doctor and say "im too dry during sex"?. but she also needs to get over any hangups like that. The sooner a young woman takes control of her body by openly talking to an informed medical provider, the more empowered she will be.
Wow. I just went from "lube" to "girl power" all in one post. I never give a short answer.
