Please help!

I have been dating a younger guy for almost 5 months now. He is three years younger (20) and I feel like I have a lot more life experiences than him. He adores me and n a way we are both really good for each other. He has already talked about marriage, kids, etc. all things that would normally freak me out this early in the relationship but with him I am totally comfortable talking about it. Here is the problem:

I met him through my friend James. I have always had strong feelings for James, but have never told him how I feel. I even tried hooking james up with a couple of my girlfriends which totally sent the wrong message to him... right?! Well, I guess being the shy person I am I made myself believe that I had no chance with him and so when my boyfriend came around and made it crystal clear the way he felt about me I said, heck.. why not? I still hang out with James... and I still have feelings for him. Is this bad? I am so confused... I love my boyfriend but I can't help think about what my life would be like with this other guy who is my age. Yes, the age thing is vry hard at times...

Is it normal to think like this? I would hate to give up what I have with my boyfriend if there is nothing there with the other dude. My boyfriend and him are really really good friends which makes it even tougher.

PLEASE ADVISE! Agh :/

Why does the age thing bother you so much??

Your going to say it doesn't but clearly it does read how many times you just brought it up 3times you brought it up,3years isn't much males are more imature than females its afact
That's just how they are,just because your 23 doesn't mean you have to go out with a 23 year old that's just daft.im 24 now but 25 in September and myboyfriend is 27 age doesn't matter

And if you LOVE your boyfriend so much you wouldn't be thinking like this if everything was so peachy,if you have stronger feelings for james then I think you should break up with your boyfriend because its not fair on him[imadgen if he found out he would be heart broken].and you are just settling for second best and that's not fair on your boyfriend at all or yourself it'll just make you unhappy,and your boyfriend could be with somebody that only wants him and not his best friend

Why do I get the feeling you just need a man around? What's up with that? If you can't make up your mind who you want, then why play games with them both. Not very fair to either of them, and you either

I'm sorry but I found your post quite disturbing..
You settled for a guy that you now suggest you "love" but part of you wants to be with this other guy.. who you're worried that you sent wrong signals too i.e that you're off limits - Which are exactly the signals you're supposed to send to ANY guy when you're with someone you "love"..

But you don't want to leave the guy you "love" unless it's for the other guy..

How much more selfish can you be exactly?

I feel sorry for the guy you "love".