I live in Michigan and my Fiance'and I are planning on getting married this summer, and he wants to adopt my son from a previous relationship. My ex (son's father) refuses to sign over his rights, he is ordered to pay child support and doesn't and also has visitation rights that he does not use. My ex's parents take my son on his visitation days cause they want to see him. My ex will not sign over his rights because he uses our son to try to keep some control over me ( he has admitted as much) can I take him to court and fight him to allow my finace' to adopt, if so what are my chances of winning? Do we have to be married and how long? My ex has been ordered to pay child support since January of 2005 and only paid about 5 months since it was taken out of his paycheck (he no loger works so I no longer recieve) He also only see's his son on the chance that he is at his parents at the same time as my son (but makes no attempt on his own to bother) any advice or help is welcome.

Ok first yes, you have to be married for a year before a judge will even allow the case. Second, you can expect a battle because your ex will not willingly sign over his rights. So, after you have been married a year bring in documentation that the bio father has not excercised his rights in that year (farther back if you can) and a judge may rule in your favor. Then again if your ex does start to use his visitation and shows up on the court date then you are less likely to have the adoption. If the bio dad does start trying harder please don't push him away just because you want the adoption for your son's sake.

In many states you will have to be married ( some states no) but they will look at how long you have lived together in both cases. They are expecting to see a long term stable relationship.

And yes he can fight it, you may be able to, but if he fights it, it will not be easy.

Thanks for the information, though for my son's sake I must say his father is not what's best for him, he is a drug user (part of why we split), he has also recently lost his license for drinking and driving and drinking underage. His own parents do not trust him to take my son and have changed weekends with me so they have him on my weekends so on the chance he shows up to take my son legally he cannot, since they have him as baby-sitters for me and not as his actual visitation time.