After escaping from her overly controlling campaign manager for the evening, Hillary Clinton sneaked off to visit a local fortune teller of some fame and repute.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the wizened old mystic delivered some very grave news.
'There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare your-self to be a widow. Your husband will die a very violent and horrible death this year just after you lose the election.'
Then the soothsayer looked up and locked eyes with Hillary, who was visibly shaken at this dire news. Hillary stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then finally down at her own shaking hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself... but ultimately, she simply had to know. She looked back up and Deep into the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked the old lady the big question:
'... Will I be acquitted?'