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-   -   I feel like I am going backwards after the break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=201453)

  • Apr 2, 2008, 07:23 AM
    canefan1012
    I feel like I am going backwards after the break up
    I posted in February that my gf of two years and I broke up that month and feel that I was handling it better than I thought I would. I am approaching the two months period since the break up and this past week I feel as though I'm taking a step back. I think about her more, I feel more lonely and a big emptiness inside and I tend to cry again at night which I hadn't done in weeks. I wake up to thoughts of her and now I miss her so much more. It is really frustrated because not only do I still love her with all my heart I still think over the what if's to make it better while we were still together. I know its over and I have accepted that a long time ago but yet it's still hard especially the past few days.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 08:27 AM
    Bluerose
    So what happened in the past few days for you to miss her so much? No matter. It is tough when you care for someone that much and they don't feel the same. There is nothing you can do about it except take care of yourself and keep busy. You have to have a good chat with yourself and make the decision to get on with your own life.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 09:39 AM
    canefan1012
    It started when I woke up Monday morning...I had a dream where we were in bed and she woke me up apologizing for breaking up with me and telling me that she missed me a lot even when she was with the new bf. I woke up startled and since then I have been thinking about her and missing her. In the end I need to take care of myself. Thank you bluerose.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 09:47 AM
    duck22
    Hey cane its normal to have your ups and downs. I remember somebody jokingly referring to it as "Bipolar break up syndrome" in another forum. We all have our share of bad days that seem to come randomly every so often. You just got to keep on truckin and those days will be farther and farther apart. These things just take time, keep your head up.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 09:59 AM
    Destro3000
    The worst thing you can do is dwell on those down moments. Unfortunately, when someone has moved on, or thinks they have, you have no power. At least you have accepted that it is over. I say remember the good times only if/when you lose control of thinging about her, but don't dwell on the what ifs.

    I speak from experience. Ive been broken up with my girlfriend of 5 years for 6 months now, and she has a new boyfriend and I still find myself hoping all these things, and trust me, it will just torture you and make you destroy yourself. Just keep busy.. you can't control your dreams, but you CAN control what's on your mind before you go to bed, which will ultimately change what you dream about.

    We'd all love to have a second or third or eleventh chance with the person we love. But love is a two way street, and for some, speeding away from that street is far too easy.

    Chin up, you're doing fine :)
  • Apr 2, 2008, 10:12 AM
    nickshehe
    It isn't wrong to still love her.. Like I previously posted I treat the situation as if there are two people now.. The girl I loved and this new girl that has taken over.. They're two completely different people and the one I love is gone and she's never coming back.. You can hold the moments you had with her inside you and keep them.. But don't beat yourself up over the new person that she's become. It will honestly destroy you.
    You should love and respect yourself enough not to accept the fact that she can go out and have fun and find a new boyfriend while you wallow in your own misery. Love yourself and keep telling yourself that you're better than that.. you deserve more.. get out there and enjoy yourself as well - there's more fish in the sea for all of us.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 03:48 PM
    Bluerose
    You need to realise that dreams is our unconscious helping us to understand stuff and heal. It's not a bad thing that you are dreaming about her, your body is healing. Just try not to see it for more than it is - a part of the healing process.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 05:54 PM
    talaniman
    Like every storm, no matter how strong, they pass eventually. This is normal while your still freshly broken up.

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