Ask Me Help Desk - I am really scared of dying

Since my friend passed away about a year ago, I am always thinking about death.
Mainly at night when I go to bed, I'll start to think about where ill go and if I really believe in god or not. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I can't bear the thought of dying suddenly and not being able to tell everyone I love them ahead of time.
Lately I freak out if my mom is not home 20 minutes after work- afraid she's been in a crash. I also call my little brother right after he gets out of school to make sure he's gotten home safely.I assumed things like that were normal, But one night I actually brought on a panic attack from crying so much about it.

This "problem" has actually begun to get so bad that my doctor is considering diagnosing me with OCD.

I am glad you are getting medical help, yes when it effects your life it is a problem, If you have a religious faith, see if your pastor does any counseling also

While we should at times live our lives as if today was the last, we can't worry about it either, since we have no control over it, God only knows the time we have here, so we live it for him to the best of our ability.

I agree with chuck. As far as the fear of dying and not being able to tell the ones close tp you how you feel... Make sure to tell them everyday. Although I am sure they know you love them.

We are all scared of dying, that's normal. It's good you are getting medical help. You are young, you have a very long life ahead! Just remember to always tell those you love, that you do love them.
Just always remember you are alive, and so are your family and friends. Enjoy your life to the fullest!

Fear of dying is common and I can relate to what you are going through. Raised by a single parent all my life, all I do is worry about them. I have experienced the panic attacks and I have lost touch with reality it seems at times. All symptoms of OCD and like disorders. What's best for you and what was best for me was treatment. You can find spiritual treatment or you can find treatment in a tiny pill. The bottom line is you have to do this for you and for your well being. The worst thing to do is to stay dormant on this issue and not seek help. What you'll come to find in the long run is that you're not alone in this and you will indeed live a happier life as a result. In some cases it is discovered that the problem is hereditary as it was with my case. So it wasn't your fault to begin with. It's just the way it is. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I am glad you are getting medical help, yes when it effects your life it is a problem, If you have a religious faith, see if your pastor does any couseling also

While we should at times live our lives as if today was the last, we can't worry about it either, since we have no control over it, God only knows the time we have here, so we live it for him to the best of our ability.

Amen and Amen:) I have had the same fears as well. It started getting bad around 30. Now I will soon be 33 and last year I watched my dad take his last breath. I watched him for over 30 hours, his body trying to say goodbye, it was aweful. So it can mess with you really bad at times. We trust in God and believe in HIM by FAITH. My favorite saying...
I WOULD RATHER LIVE MY LIFE AS IF THERE IS A GOD AND DIE TO FIND OUT THERE ISN'T, THAN TO LIVE MY LIFE AS IF THERE ISN'T A GOD AND DIE TO FIND OUT THERE IS... GOD BLESS YOU HON...

ChristyLee:

I cried when I read your post. I also watch my father take his last breath shortly after the respirator was removed. Complications, (wearing a canola, but oxygen was turned off) from a thoreocenthecis (remove fluid from lung) caused him to lapse into a coma. He had non-Hodgekin's Lymphoma.

Everyone here has around the sameanswer. About not saying you love people, don't just tell them, show them. Do everything you want to do before you die withthose that you love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by str33t punk

everyone here has around the sameanswer. about not saying you loev people, dont just tell them, show them. do everything you want to do before you die withthose that you love.

You are so right! It is in actually SHOWING a person that you Love them that they can truly feel an inner happiness that is indescribable. There are those who wait until the very last moment and then that moment comes and they find that they were unable to tell a person that they Loved them and of course, by then it is too late. That is a great burden to carry with you. There is no excuse not to go to the person you Love and tell them outright. Some people have a problem with this, unfortunately, but do not seem to realize that the problem is going to get far worse after the person is gone and you lose a great opportunity to approach them and let them know of your Love. There Is No Time Like the Present! Do it Now. It takes just a moment to tell someone you Love them, and to make them feel wanted and Loved is a tonic for anyone who has feelings. Do not procrastinate. You don't know if tomorrow will be too late to tell them what you want to tell them today!

Sounds a lot like me! (I have OCD, anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder) One of my main worries is a loved one dying.It's actually made me reconsider how many children I want to have, which is disappointing.

Just know that there is NOTHING you can do about it.Death is completely out of your control.

I think that life would be a lot easier if the "veil" from earth and the other side was thinner.That way we get to see our loved ones and know that they are so much better off in a place where there is no harm than us in a world full of it.

Don't make your life one anxious ball of worries.I have wasted sooo much time doing that and I regret it.Seek spiritual enlightenment and that may calm your worries.It has for me.

Just relax. Every time you freak out or feel uncomfortable, think of your mom or any one who loves you dearly.
Talking about death, we all are walking corpses. Moment of death is uknown to us. Millions of fetuses do not make it. Worrying about death is completely okay.
When you are relaxed, try to think of millions of other human beings who die for many reasons-tsunami, war, diseases, etc. and try to take in their pain-breathe in their pains and breathe out your compassion to them.

Christy had all the words I was searching for.
I think a big part of your concern may be caused by your indecision about God.
While you are trying to decide, consider adopting the last sentence of Christy's post.
Try prayer in place of the worry for a while.

I feel the same way I am terrified of the Death, since my mother died it has made me more aware of my own Death, and at night I cannot sleep, I cry also, my heart beats in my chest really fast, and my body shakes. Even at work among others, I am crying at my computer, The Thought of Death terrifies me, The Dying process, the Struggling for Breath as we are dying, the Death rattle it is just driving me insane. We all know we have to Die someday, but just kowing that does not remove my fear of Death. And what is that thing you mentioned that your doctor says you have OCD??

I saw my gran die and ever since I have been terrified of dying.
Resently I think I might believe in re-incarnation and then the thought of being born again over and over started to freek me out. I feel like I'm traped. Then I started to see death as a good thing, kind of a breather.

I worry all the time about dyeing. I now have a two year old son so recently I've been thinking what if I'm not around for him.I hear all the time about people dropping dead out of the blue, so my advice would be love your kids love your partner ,live everyday like its your last and when that day comes you will have no regrets, from here to that day use your fear to realise how special life is... thats what I plan to do. Take care

I doubt you have OCD, sounds a little extreme but you've lost someone and everyone has a different response to that. Fear of death is natural. I think as you get older you'll come to accept it. I can't tell you what decision to make but find your god or come to a decision about your opinion on the afterlife. I think you should go to therapy because it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety. Constant worrying, crying and trying to control a situation that is so far out of your control. It's especially concerning that these feelings come at night because it could also lead to a sleep disorder, although I doubt it. I just want you to be aware of these things. But to sum it up, death happens and it is out of your control. Personally, I leave death to the dead and life to the living. Just take it day by day and believe me I really believe that this is the most common fear ever. Good luck and feel better :) Ashley

Let's see what Qur'an has to say on this...

He it is who created you from clay, and then decreed a stated term (for you). And there is in His presence another determined term; yet ye doubt within yourselves! (2)(Al-Anaam)
It is Allah Who causeth the seed-grain and the date-stone to split and sprout. He causeth the living to issue from the dead, and He is the one to cause the dead to issue from the living. That is Allah; then how are ye deluded away from the truth? (95)(Al-Anaam)
Say: “Running away will not profit you if ye are running away from death or slaughter; and even if (ye do escape), no more than a brief (respite) will ye be allowed to enjoy!” (16)(Al-Ahzab)
We have decreed Death to be your common lot, and We are not to be frustrated (60)(Al-Waqia)
But to no soul will Allah grant respite when the time appointed (for it) has come: and Allah is well-acquainted with (all) that ye do. (11)(Al-Munafiqoon)
How can ye reject the faith in Allah? Seeing that ye were without life, and He gave you life; then will He cause you to die, and will again bring you to life; and again to Him will ye return. (28)(Al-Baqara)
Didst thou not turn by vision to those who abandoned their homes though they were thousands (in number), for fear of death? Allah said to them: “Die.” then He restored them to life. For Allah is full of bounty to mankind, but most of them are ungrateful. (243)(Al-Baqara)
Hast thou not turned thy thought to one who disputed with Abraham about his Lord because Allah had granted him power? Abraham said: “My Lord is He Who giveth life and death.” He said: “I give life and death.” Said Abraham: “But it is Allah that causeth the sun to rise from the East: do thou then cause him to rise from the West?” Thus was he confounded who (in arrogance) rejected faith. Nor doth Allah give guidance to a people unjust. (258)(Al-Baqara)
“Thou causest the Night to gain on the Day, and Thou causest the Day to gain on the Night; Thou bringest the Living out of the Dead, and Thou bringest the Dead out of the Living; and Thou givest sustenance to whom Thou pleasest without measure.” (27)(Al-Imran)
Nor can a soul die except by Allah's leave the term being fixed as by writing. If any do desire a reward in this life, We shall give it to him; and if any do desire a reward in the Hereafter, We shall give it to him. And swiftly shall We reward those that (serve Us with) gratitude. (145)(Al-Imran)
Another band was stirred to anxiety by their own feelings, moved by wrong suspicions of Allah, suspicions due to Ignorance. They said: “What affair is this of ours?” say thou: “indeed this affair is wholly Allah's.” They hide in their minds what they dare not reveal to thee. They say (to themselves): “If we had anything to do with this affair we should not have been in the slaughter here.” Say: “Even if you had remained in your homes, those for whom death was decreed would certainly have gone forth to the place of their death”; but (all this was) that Allah might test what is in your breasts and purge what is in your hearts: for Allah knoweth well the secrets of your hearts. (154)(Al-Imran)
O ye who Believe! Be not like the Unbelievers, who say of their brethren, when they are travelling through the earth or engaged in fighting: “If they had stayed with us, they would not have died, or been slain.” This that Allah may make it a cause of sighs, and regrets in their hearts. It is Allah that gives Life and Death and Allah sees well all that ye do. (156)(Al-Imran)
Every soul shall have a taste of death: and only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception. (185)(Al-Imran)
Say: “O men! I am sent unto you all, as the Messenger of Allah, to Whom belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth: there is no god but He: it is He that giveth both life and death. So believe in Allah and His Messenger, the unlettered Prophet, who believed in Allah and His words: follow him that (so) ye may be guided.” (158)(Al-Araf)
Unto Allah belongeth the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He giveth life and He taketh it. Except for Him ye have no protector nor helper. (116)(At-Tawba)
Is it He Who giveth life and who taketh it and to Him shall ye all be brought back. (56)(Yunus)
Say: “O ye men! If ye are in doubt as to my religion, (behold!) I worship not what ye worship other than Allah But I worship Allah― Who will take your souls (at death): I am commanded to be (in the ranks) of the Believers. (104)(Yunus)
And verily, it is We Who give life, and who give death: it is We Who remain Inheritors (after all else passes away). (23)(Al-Hijr)
It is He Who gave you life, will cause you to die, and will again give you life: truly man is a most ungrateful creature! (66)(Al-Hajj)
It is He Who gives life and death and to Him (is due) the alternation of Night and Day: will ye not then understand? (80)(Al-Mumenoon)
(In Falsehood will they be) until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “O my Lord! Send me back (to life)― (99) “In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected.”― “By no means! It is but a word he says Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up. (100)(Al-Mumenoon)
Yet have they taken besides Him, gods that can create nothing but are themselves created; that have no control of hurt or good to themselves; nor can they control Death nor Life nor Resurrection. (3)(Al-Furqan)
“Who will cause me to die, and then to live (again); (81)(Al-Shuara)
It is He Who brings out the living from the dead, and brings out the dead from the living and Who gives life to the earth after it is dead: and thus shall ye be brought out (from the dead). (19)(Ar-Room)
It is Allah Who has created you: further He has provided for your sustenance; then He will cause you to die; and again He will give you life. Are there any of your (false) “Partners” who can do any single one of these things? Glory to Him! And High is He above the partners they attribute (to Him)! (40)(Ar-Room)
Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah (alone). It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the wombs. Nor does anyone know what it is that he will earn on the morrow: nor does anyone know in what land he is to die. Verily with Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things). (34)(Luqman)
It is He Who has created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop, then from a leech-like clot; then does He get you out (into the light) as a child: then lets you (grow and) reach your age of full strength; then lets you become old― though of you there are some who die before;― and lets you reach a Term appointed: in order that ye may learn wisdom. (67)(Al-Ghafir)
It is He Who gives Life and Death; and when He decides upon an affair, He says to it “Be” and it is. (68)(Al-Ghafir)
There is no god but He: it is He Who gives life and gives death the Lord and Cherisher to you and your earliest ancestors. (8)(Ad-Dukhan)
Say: “It is Allah Who gives you life, then gives you death; then He will gather you together for the Day of Judgement about which there is no doubt”: but most men do not understand. (26)(Al-Jathiya)
Verily it is We Who give Life and Death; and to Us is the Final Goal– (43)(Al-Qaf)
That it is He who Granteth Death and Life; (44)(Al-Najm)
To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; it is He Who gives life and Death; and He has Power over all things. (2)(Al-Hadid)
And spend something (in charity) out of the substance which We have bestowed on you, before death should come to any of you and he should say “O my Lord! Why didst thou not give me respite for a little while? I should then have given (largely) in charity, and I should have been one of the doers of good.” (10)(Al-Munafiqoon)
But to no soul will Allah grant respite when the time appointed (for it) has come: and Allah is well-acquainted with (all) that ye do. (11)(Al-Munafiqoon)
He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving― (2)(Al-Mulk)
“Wherever ye are, death will find you out, even if ye are in towers built up strong and high!” If some good befalls them they say “This is from Allah”; but if evil, they say “This is from thee” (O Prophet). Say: “All things are from Allah. But what hath come to these people, that they fail to understand a single fact? (78)(An-Nisa)
Yea, when (the soul) reaches to the collar-bone (in its exit) (26)(Al-Qiyama)
And he will conclude that it was (the Time) of Parting (28)(Al-Qiyama)
That Day the Drive will be (all) to thy Lord! (30)(Al-Qiyama)

IM scared of dying also.. it's not the fact I'm going to die is how am I going to die thts what really has me scared