Hi guys I am new here...
I am a 35 year old male who has just lost the love of his life through the above.
I never had reasons not to trust my partner but anytime she goes out alone I always need to know where she is and who she is with.
Last weekend we had a phone argument about where she was and I told her ( quite forcefully) I was going to take her home.
I ended up crashing the car and am lucky to be alive.

I love her so much and have apologised profusely.
I know I am feeling insecure in myself but She has told me to sort myself out and she will chat to me about this in a few weeks.

Guys, I am at my wits end. It is destroying me and the ones I love.
Anything you can say to me to sort this out would be appreciated.

Has she given you "reasons" not to trust her? Has she lied to you? cheated on you?.

You DO sound very possesive and insecure like you said. That will NOT get you anywhere. Oh, it might actually,. it might get you arrested, injured, or worse, if you can't control yourself from getting into a vehicle in a panic or rage. All the drama is not necessary, and that is probably why she told you to sort yourself out, calm yourself down, and maybe chat in a few weeks if you've done that.

Go and find someone (a professional) to talk to. You obviously have issues! You will only lose her if you don't figure out what causes you to try and control her, and yet not be able to control your own behaviour and emotions.