I've been sexually active with my long term boyfriend for over a year now and still have had an orgasm during sex, I think I may have been close once but then he did so it was too late.

I'm not sure what the problem is whether he comes to soon or what, but from myself having an orgasm through him doing other stuff to me, I often wonder what happens during sex with a female orgasming, as I don't think I would be able to continue in sex after I come, as it's a nice feeling better very sensitive and feel the need to stop, as the boys do.

Secondly I have a feeling my boyfriend my watch porn at night before bed, he has often asked for pictures of me to wank over, which shocked me, but as I'm not into dirty sex I refused, therefore I feel I can't stop him watching porn, but it upset me to think of him having a wank over another women, or would he still be thinking of me?

Finally recently I've discovered that whenever he tries to get his penis in me, it really stings, unless we use lube, it never used to be like that, and I know I'm still wet as I can feel it. I have also notice a few little sores down there, I know its nothing serious like a disease as we have both been checked out regularly, but its like little rub marks around the vagina area.

Anyone help with any of this will be great thank you

Hello Dr. Muffin; Hope you've made the right diagnosis... OH! You might try thinking less of the why and why nots and more about personal growth.

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Originally Posted by raggamuffin9

ive been sexually active with my long term boyfriend for over a year now and still have had an orgasm during sex, i think i may have been close once but then he did so it was too late.

im not sure what the problem is whether he comes to soon or what, but from myself having an orgasm through him doing other stuff to me, i often wonder what happens during sex with a female orgasming, as i dont think i would be able to continue in sex after i come, as its a nice feeling better very sensitive and feel the need to stop, as the boys do.

secondly i have a feeling my boyfriend my watch porn at night before bed, he has often asked for pictures of me to wank over, which shocked me, but as im not into dirty sex i refused, therefore i feel i can't stop him watching porn, but it upset me to think of him having a wank over another women, or would he still be thinking of me?

finally recently iv discovered that whenever he tries to get his penis in me, it really stings, unless we use lube, it never used to be like that, and i know im still wet as i can feel it. i have also notice a few little sores down there, i know its nothing serious like a disease as we have both been checked out reguarly, but its like little rub marks around the vagina area.

anyone help with any of this wil be great thank you

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Well as for the orgasm part, there's A lot of women out there who arnt able to orgasm when doing it with their partner. Try doggie and use a vibrator on you're C*it, it'll help, trust me!

The orgasm thing I can't follow. There is plenty of stuff on this site. Orgasms from penetration generally seem harder. Fingers, toys, vibrators and oral seem to have a better chance of success.

Orgasms are not the same for all females. The most common seems to be a single contraction that can be felt by the male to multiple series of say 10 violent contractions where the whole body shakes. This series can be repeated say 10x. I was able to cause it to happen subsequent times by saying " for me". I was asked to stop. There are more.

Your second question. Based on sexuality courses I took, men like to watch two females because they pretend to be one of the females. It's kind of a mental substitution thing.

Your third question. Maybe it's time to take a rest for a couple of weeks an let what might be abrasions heal.

That oversensitive feeling following an orgasm passes. Once you have one without penetration, use a lubricant (oil based) and ask him to go really slow.

Women do not get done, and are spent, like men. Women usually do not need deep penetration. In and out, in and out may only feel good to him, and can cause abrasion. He should want to please you, and if that means making it last until after you have an orgasm, then you will be pleased.

Watching porn, then wanting to have sex with you is fine. It's mostly a guy thing. You need to talk to him about it, calmly. Find out what's in it for him. His stuff, his visual pleasure, wanking, is just a part of him. Making it a big secret can cause problems. Condemning, censuring or spying on him is wrong. If you are not able to accept it, or if it's bigger than you can deal with, you may be happier with a different guy.

Sores (abrasions) should be seen by a physician. If you seem more sore, or irritated lately, you may have developed an allergy to the lubricant.

Females are able to have multiple orgasms, which I don't think that men are able to have. I could be wrong on this though (regarding men).

When my boyfriend and I have sex, I usually only have an orgasm during foreplay. However, he recently did something that I am finding hard to explain on this site, as I hate to use certain words, but I'm going to go for it, as it was awesome. During penetration while I was on top, he had me lean backwards while he fondled my cl**. I was amazed at how quickly the sensations went through my body - from my head to my toes. I think that he was amazed also because he asked me if I was faking it. Like I said it was amazing and I can't wait for him to do it again. By the way, he did this at least twice during the same session and I was able to have multiple orgasms and still was not finished - I was begging for more!!

Normally, a female does not have an orgasm during penetration because the female "sensory module" (I just hate using that other word, with or without symbols) is not being stimulated.

In regards to porn, men are visual creatures. They like to see things in order to become stimulated. They also like fantasy. The fact that he asked for a picture of you is a compliment, as it sounds like he would rather look at you than at someone else. I would be careful about having provocative pictures taken of you though because you may never know where these could end up, especially if things do not work out between the two of you. You remember Paris Hilton, right? I really believe that he is thinking about you when he is watching these. The fact that he has told you about these is healthy, as he could be keeping this as a secret. Is there a reason that you are offended by pornography? Have you ever watched one? I used to be very much like you about these movies, as they can be very degrading towards women. However, these have come a long way since the '70s versions (some titles are better than others). I viewed a couple on my own a few years back, soft porn I might hard - not any of the hard core stuff, as that is just gross. They are not so bad. After you get used to them on your own, you might surprise him by offering to watch one with him that you have already previewed. This could REALLY turn him on.

In regard to the sores that you are seeing, along with the stinging sensation, I suggest that you go see a doctor. As simoneaugie indicated, you could be having a sensitivity to the lubrication or anything else that you are using. I would suggest that you might want to try a water based lubrication, as these have a tendency to contain anything that might cause a reaction to either one of you.

I'll just take one part of the question as you have received some good answers.

While I was doing some research last night, I ran across a book on Amazon that looks like it would be great for many of the women, like yourself, who ask orgasm questions on this site. It was called The Five Minute Orgasm or words to that effect... the review sounded excellent. It is for women only. People are busy and don't always want to make a long ordeal of sex... just have sex on the spur of the moment with *the woman having an orgasm*!! It went along with some of the advice I have given here but in much more detail. :)

Best wishes for a fully orgasmic future!

Dear Kp 2171: Many thanks for reading the above post and for your input. Any and all comments provided by the thousands of readers out there are appreciated and welcomed. To assist those wishing to rate answers to any questions in any forums the following simple guide may assist you in your quest: 1) Be sure you read the question and/or answer before commenting. 2) If you have poor vision or have problems reading please have a friend read for you. 3) If you have problems understanding certain questions try taking a break and returning an hour or so later to the problem question. 4) If you find certain forums are creating problems for you such as difficulty sleeping, nightmares, memory loss, liquid stools, itchy hands or feet or a general loss of appetite then try a more appropriate forum, art, antiques, sports etc.

The original question submitted on April-Fool's-Day, if you read very carefully, includes a more important issue relating to this girls physical health; she's seeing something between her legs that she seems to have a "feeling" is not a big deal. She's not a doctor and should see one to make sure it's not serious.

Second, the posting itself strongly suggests this person is very young (14, 15, 16? ) or an older, very immature woman who seems to be overwhelmed by every aspect of human sexual response and the word overwhelmed might be understating it. Her "problem" is not as serious as you may think and hope you'll read her post again with a bit more objectivity. Best wishes. ST

Thanks for the note. All will work out fine.. ST ps. I agree.. st

Have you ever tried a vibrator? This Hitachi Magic Wand is suggested to women who have trouble with achieving orgasms. I do know that vibrations can be a wonderful thing and you can set it to what speed feels best to you. If you usually try to get an orgasm by intercourse then maybe you can try a bit of vibration on the . There are also attachments that you can buy with it, maybe you could get the one that you can use to vibrate the inside of the vagina and get the blood pumping and the walls of the vagina sensitized, you can do this during foreplay and then when you get on with the intercourse it feels a lot better, some women have multiple orgasms for the first time in their life because of it. So maybe it could help you to have a first orgasm.

There is also The Butterfly Vibrator (Butterfly Vibrator (Babeland's Vibrators Department))
One trick with this one is that you can put it on and position it over the clitoris during intercourse so that you can have both vaginal and clitoris pleasure at the same time.