It is my ex's birthday and I keep thinking I should call or text and wish her a Happy Birthday. I have had NC for 7 months now, never really come close to breaking it, but I am wondering if a quick text would be polite? Any thoughts would be appreciated?

Hm. Well... what do you expect to happen here? Are you expecting her to respond.. I'm not sure of the details of your relationship/breakup, but...

Four things can happen:

1. she doesn't respond. In fact, she really hates you and is disgusted you're even texting her.

2. she doesn't respond. She still isn't over you and has no idea how to respond to your text... your text brings her to tears.

3. she responds. She's over you. She's in fact found a new guy. She thinks you're sweet for saying happy birthday.

4. she responds. She's wondering what the hell you're doing talking to her for after such a long time.

... granted, there are variations to these... but these are the only four I got.

I am wondering as to what to do about MY ex's birthday in the summer... so let us know how it pans out, one way or another.

It may be a nice thing to do, but she is an ex for a reason. I have a feeling that you still have feelings for her and you are hoping that she still has feelings for you too and that maybe this will rekindle something. Be honest with yourself. Are you using her birthday as an excuse to see how she is doing without you? I agree with Isneeze regarding the scenarios that were posed. It could go either way, but what is it that YOU want to accomplish?

ISneezeFunny is right.

As someone going through a break-up, I'd text to be polite (or maybe to elicit a response and then a conversation... )

BUT imagining that I'm in the place of someone being texted on my birthday by someone I'm over, it'd either unearth problems, longing or anger. I'm not sure. It seems that this isn't the best time to break NC. It's an emotionally charged day, but I don't know the situation.

Obviously you are not over her, and will use her b'day as an excuse to break the N/C, in order to make it seem like it's just a polite gesture. If you're not serious about the N/C it won't matter if it's her b'day or not, sooner or later you will contact her and use an excuse for doing it!

There must be reasons you've been doing a N/C to begin with. Think of those reasons and why it happened in the first place.

I'm just going to say IF you do, just simply say "Happy Birthday". Nothing else. I don't mean to say you can't make a complete sentence i.e. "I hope you have a Happy Birthday" or something like that, I just mean, don't put "love you", "miss you", "thinking about you" type messeges. Just a simple NEUTRAL happy birthday messege. This way if she makes a big deal about it, you can play it off cool, like "I was just being friendly, sorry". And if you still have feelings for her (sounds like you do) don't take ANY response from her as a sign to start pouring your heart out. Play it cool and neutral no matter what. And don't get your hopes up or have any expectations.

Its been a while since I posted but since this is a scenario I have just played out I'm going to say my piece.

It was my birthday last Monday and I received an email from my ex (who dumped me 6 months ago) wishing me a happy birthday, the reason she emailled me was because she deleted my number and wanted me to know she was thinking about me.

I replied the next day saying it was sweet of her to email me and I had a nice time. Throughout the week she emailled me saying she'd like to meet for a drink this week and I said okay because I wanted to know what she wanted.

Anyway, I saw her in a bar at the weekend and evetually in a club, her friend had left her so she was alone (after she had told me my ex was still in love with me) and I said she could come with my friends, after an hour dancing and flirting we bumped into another friend who told her never to get back with me, ten minutes later she left the club crying so I called her she told me she still loved me and misses me but never wants to get back together

My advice don't do it... if you feel you must keep it to a simple Happy Birthday!

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Originally Posted by Mom of 2

It may be a nice thing to do, but she is an ex for a reason. I have a feeling that you still have feelings for her and you are hoping that she still has feelings for you too and that maybe this will rekindle something. Be honest with yourself. Are you using her birthday as an excuse to see how she is doing without you? I agree with Isneeze regarding the scenarios that were posed. It could go either way, but what is it that YOU want to accomplish?

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I do still miss her. If I am honest the reason to contact her for this is twofold, firstly, because it would be a nice thing to do, but secondly, to see if the door is still open. Does that make it a bad idea?

Well nobody can tell you what to do on here they can merely advise you, its your life do what you want... my only advice would be if you want to do it then do it but expect nothing in return and if you get something don't get your hopes up! I did that and I set me back a little but I am much stronger now and after two days I'm back on my feet

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Originally Posted by Maggie83

Well nobody can tell you what to do on here they can merely advise you, its your life do what you want......my only advice would be if you want to do it then do it but expect nothing in return and if you get something dont get your hopes up!! i did that and i set me back a little but i am much stronger now and after two days im back on my feet

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I am starting to think that it is not a good idea for me to contact her. The reason I started NC was because I did not want her continuing to use me as a surrogate boyfriend with no benefit for me. I said to her I would be sticking to NC, and that she should only contact me if she wanted to talk about us. That was 7 months ago and I have not heard from her.

She also did not contact me on my birthday, but, more importantly, I recently became an Uncle, which she knew was on the cards before I started NC, and I have had nothing from her asking about that, so being honest, she is probably not interested and doesn't deserve me reaching out to her!

I think you answered your own question. A relationship goes both ways. You deserve someone better who is not going to use you in any way.

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but secondly, to see if the door is still open. Does that make it a bad idea?

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Warning- Be different if she had been as nice or polite to you, She hasn't! Keep NC!
If you need excuses, to hide your real motives, DON'T DO IT!

Keep your pride, don't do it. Do not put your heart through the expectation of hearing back from her or the rejection of not. It will jot be worth it.