Ex girlfriend - 2nd time disrupting NC
You can read my other posts to get some background information on what my story is..
For the lazy ones: She was head over heals for me, after a rough two weeks she wants a break, 4 days into the break I call her and she dumps me quite cruelly and with no explanation.. I go insane that day.. we fight a lot.. 5 days later I sent her an e-mail telling her that Im not requesting her return or anything and that I realise I have to move on but I love her.. 5 days after that she talks to me on msn(I had unblocked her on the day) - she talked about pointless things, I asked if there was a chance we would get back together.. she said no and made it clear that she stopped caring for me.. I said I hate what you're doing but I have no choice but to move on now..
I didn't block her from msn or anything after that, I just assumed that she wouldn't talk to me since she doesn't care.. I deleted her from msn none the less cause I'd feel tempted to message her then..
And 5 days after that (today) she messages me again.. I was very cool in my replying, she was just asking what I'm doing, and she seemed really abrupt and uninterested in the conversation.. I was being very friendly. I told her I was about to go out in a bit and she said OK bye then, and I said I wasn't going yet I was just waiting for my hair to dry... I asked how her studying was going e.t.c , she continued replying with "sure" "okay" "anw" responses..
Whereas I was more friendly.. then I asked her if she was all right cause she was being really distant somewhat and she said "sure you?" I said yeah I'm fine I was just confused why you're coming off as so uninterested in the conversation when it's you that talked to me in the first place.. and she said it was cause I was about to go out or something.. anyway I disregarded it and I told her that I was leaving and to have fun if she had any plans or whatever and I left...
Anyway I'm not getting my hopes up or anything- I know this isn't a good thing. And I know it shouldn't matter what it is..
But I was wondering what it is exactly that she's trying to do? Is she checking on me to see I'm miserable or something I don't understand..
And how am I supposed to handle this situation.. I don't want to tell her to stop talking to me, I'm never going to initiate a conversation with her - so for as long as she doesn't talk to me first then the longer we go without talking..
I don't want to block her from msn as well because we have mutual friends and she'll know I blocked her.. and I find that kind of immature anyway..
I mean it may well be that after this conversation she'll never talk to me again but I doubt it.. but what happens if every 3-4 days she talks to me do I ignore her or what?
I should probably be asking myself if if bothers me that she talks to me.. and I dno if it does..
I want to be selfish in that I don't want her to have the "best of both worlds".. i.e whenever she's bored she can just talk to me and ill be fine with it.. but then again I don thave it in me to be an a**hole with her because somewhere down the line - whether its important or not , I want her to realise that she made a mistake when she left me, and I want it to haunt her.. I know that's selfish and somewhat immature but I can't help it..
Its not something I think about or something but it would be nice if that was the case...