How do I deal with an adult son who was so close to me growning up but now has chosen to exclude me, his sister and father from his life and chosen his in-laws to take our place. Before this year, I had a good relationship with he and his wife and was able to see my 2 grandchildren (4 and 2) often. Since Christmas I have seen them once and they live only 40 miles away? His wife is very controlling and wears the pants in the family.

Well, if you're asking about what you can do legally, then you have no rights whatsoever.

If you're asking about what you can do to fix the situation...

First, I have a feeling that it's not just about the wife. I feel like there's an underlying issue... yes, I've heard of those "daughter in laws from hell" but I feel like there needs to be more incident for your own son to leave you behind.

Second, perhaps a sitdown with your son and/or daughter in law may be possible?

It seems like so many mother's of son's rationalize their son's to be completely falseless and only at the mercy of their "awful and controlling" DIL's. You are just a tad biased, no?

Correction: "faultless"

The problem really isn't with the daughter in the law, it is with your son. He shouldn't want to keep you from your grand kids and should be happy that you want to see them and spend time with them. How you tried talking to him, if so how does act?

I have tried talking to my son all year and he will not talk to me. I have not seen the children since April. I have sent many gifts and cards, but do not see them or talk to them. Yes, my son should certainly allow me to see the children.

My son also has alienated my daughter and his father, but he does talk to them. He calls my mother (96) once in awhile.

He seems to be getting all the love he needs from my DIL's family.

How can I get my son to talk with me?

There is really nothing you can do but I would sugest maybe writing a letter to him and express how you feel. Maybe that would help otherwise I don't know what else to suggest.

I just sorry you can't see your grand child but he will come around one day and he's going regret it.

Looks to me there must be an issue between your son and you or/and your family that needs to be addressed. If that is the case I suggest you have a sit and think hard about your side of the issue.
Maybe get professional help, someone to talk things over with. It really does help.