Ask Me Help Desk - In love with co-worker

I don't know what to do I keep falling in love with people that don't love me back. Or that love me but you know the whole straight thing. It is just so hard when you are on two sides of the fence. I am attracted to men but I have a deeper emotional attraction to women. I can fall in love with a women faster than I can with a man. I like being a provider I like taking care of women. I like surprising them with sentimental moments. If I met the right one I would work 2 jobs just to support her so she won't have to worry. Whoever I am with I want to be happy. And its funny cause my last relationship was with a woman and I came out and told her and we were intimate and I did everything for her but she manipulated me. She told me I would be the perfect partner but she just can't live in that lifestyle and now she is gettng married.
I am just so lost I am so tired of falling in love and it never being right and I feel so alone cause I can't tell my family I can't tell the person I am in love with cause I am afraid I will be treated differently. I told God to take these feelings away because there is nothing I can do with them. But I just keep feeling and falling. And this women that I like now is perfect I love everything about her even her children I fell in love with them all. And when we are together it is like we are a family and I love that feeling. Maybe you right I guess I will just back away cause I really am afraid to risk our friendship. I mean I have no problem just being cool with her but you know after you tell straight people you have feelings for them they think you want jump there bones every sec. I am just tired of being on a oneway street. I wish I could just get a boyfriend and forget all.

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Originally Posted by Username Here

Hey,

First things first, you have to decide is this love or lust? if its love then you just to tell her, that you have string feelings for her, don't mention love straight away, give her some time to come to terms with the fact that you really like her, and she'll be yours forever. Her main priority will be her kids, and they sound like they've already approved.

Be confident, but sensitive, her reaction may vary depending on mood so you should set the mood with an outing somewhere. Tell her you like her a lot, and would like to be able to boast that you got her. Tell her, you like her kids. Her kids will undoubtedly be important to her.

She waiting for you! Go for it!

Best of luck! Hope this helps,
Louis.

Thanks! Trust me it is not lust at all I mean She is attractive but she is no tyra banks. I fell in love with her smile cause she is always smiling even when we been hanging together all day I will catch her eye from across the room and she would look and smile. Or even when she wakes up in the morning she will smile that is one of the things I love about her. She is very talented and intellectual and she always has a positive outlook on life and things. And you know what's funny she and her parents are the only people that have even watched her children. And even out of all her friends I am the first she has actually left her children with. Cause she is in a show so I would babysitt while she was out. And every time she came home me and her son made her dinner and set the table, then one time we made a poem for her and then another time she came home and we dressed like sumo wrestlers and we all came to the door with pillows in our chest. She was laughing so hard she was like who is the kid and who is the adult. But I enjoyed those moments. I really love her and everything apart of her.

Good Luck! I really hope it goes well for you!

Please send me a message telling me how it goes! Sounds like you two will have a great time!

:D

Best of Luck!
Louis.

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I am just so lost I am so tired of falling in love and it never being right and I feel so alone

Most of us have felt that way at one time or another, and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation either. After a few romantic disappointments, we all get in that same funk, and it sucks. Might I suggest getting to love yourself more, and not be so worried about the opinions of others, and I think you will be less inclined to hide who you are, as there will be no need. Only then, from a position of confidence, and being happy with who you are, will you find someone who will want to share that happiness with you. Your looking for love, and acceptance (we all want that) the wrong way. It starts with YOU.

You are so right tala I think you nailed it on the point to the T I just don't know how to make myself happy so I put all my effort into other people. I just don't know where to start with making myself happy I don't know how. Usually helping others I feel it helps me I feel good doing it and I am good at it. My grandmother is a missionary, my father a minister, my mother a nurse I think it is just in my blood. LOL But even though I am still in love with this person I would be good for no one if I am no good for myself maybe then someone will love me back and wonder if I like them. Lolol Thanks a lot Tala you are a genius.

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Usually helping others I feel it helps me I feel good doing it and I am good at it.

That's a great start, and you may be further along than you think, just have patience, and do what makes you happy, and build your life around the things you enjoy. You will atract those who are happy themselves, and want to share it with you.