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-   -   Trying to hold child back but school is giving me a hard time (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=199804)

  • Mar 28, 2008, 08:21 PM
    luhunting
    Trying to hold child back but school is giving me a hard time
    My 6 year old daughter has had a hard time with math and reading she has been going to extra classes for help it has helped a little I would like to hold her back in the first grade and so would one of her teachers we had a meeting with the principal about it he thinks holding her back would be a bad thing but I know my daughter she is the youngest in her class her maturity is not up with the other kids and her math and reading are not even up to first grade yet. They told me today that the final decision was not mine but the school bord I live in Utah .
  • Mar 28, 2008, 08:26 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why does the principal think holding her back would be a bad thing? Better now than when she is older and has a more defined social network in her class. She will be able to adjust better when younger. Otherwise, he is setting her up for failure and hatred of school.
  • Mar 28, 2008, 08:32 PM
    macgould10
    Wow! I've never heard of anything like that before. I'm an elementary school teacher myself, and usually it's the parents fighting the teacher's decision to retain. As far as I know the parents are allowed to make the decision to retain their child if they feel it to be necessary... especially if a teacher is backing the decision. If administration states that it's the school board that makes the final decision about retaining a child, I would ask for them to show me proof. I would demand to see where that is stated in writing in the district's policies and procedures. If they can't produce it, then its probably not true.

    It's the school's obligation to do what's best for the child. If a child is immature, and is well below meeting grade level standards then it is in the child's best interest to repeat the grade. It doesn't make sense to send her on to 2nd grade for her to struggle yet again through another year. All that's going to do is kill her self esteem, self confidence, and turn her off from school and learning altogether. They would be doing that child a huge disservice.

    My advice is to keep fighting for what you know if best. If the decision ends up going to school board, make sure you are at that meeting. Be sure to bring proof of your child's struggle throughout the school year. Bring report cards, graded papers, teacher's comments, etc. The proof is in the paper, they shouldn't be able to deny what is clear and obvious.
  • Mar 29, 2008, 02:32 PM
    bushg
    My daughter struggled in the earlier grades and still struggles in high school with certain subjects but does well in others. She is the youngest in her class. I wish I would have insisted that they held her back. Stand firm for your daughter, who knows those studies the principal is quoting,like others, may change next year.
  • Mar 29, 2008, 02:38 PM
    luhunting
    The principal has found studies showing a bad effect on holding kids back in the long run. He also thinks the problem is do to missing school do to heath problems
  • Mar 29, 2008, 02:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    the principal has found new studys showing holding kids back has a bad efect in the long run. He also thinks its because she has missed a lot of school do to heth problems
    My long experience as a teacher, remembering how I felt skipping grades, my own children's experience, and friends' reports is that holding a child back (because of inability to do the work combined with being the youngest in the class) is the best thing for the child. The school has to look at the whole picture--parents' reports on the child, teachers' observations, the child's performance level and maturity.
  • Mar 29, 2008, 07:46 PM
    macgould10
    That is true that being held back early in your educational career increases your chances of dropping out in high school, however you can also find studies that show a high drop out rate in students that struggle throughout their entire educational career. You should ask him/her which percentage is higher.
  • Mar 29, 2008, 08:24 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Time to go to the school board, hire an attorney and play hard ball.
  • Mar 30, 2008, 10:37 AM
    luhunting
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by macgould10
    That is true that being held back early in your educational career increases your chances of dropping out in high school, however you can also find studies that show a high drop out rate in students that struggle throughout their entire educational career. You should ask him/her which percentage is higher.


    Do you know where I can go to find the drop out rate on struggling students?
  • Mar 30, 2008, 11:52 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by luhunting
    Do you know where I can go to find the drop out rate on struggling students?

    Call your public library and talk to the reference department. They should be able to give you national stats as well as for your state and maybe even your specific area. Also, here in Illinois there's something called School Report Cards for individual schools. If the reference librarians say they can't help you, let me know.
  • May 29, 2008, 08:26 AM
    NowWhat
    Hello. I know this thread is a couple of months old - but I would love an update.

    My daughter was held back last year in first grade. It was the best thing we have done.
  • Mar 31, 2010, 02:53 PM
    logan176
    I had just wrote a nice long response recommending retention as well. I didn't realize the thread continued onto a second page. I'm glad things worked out for you and your daughter.

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