My boyfriend broke up w/ me about a week and half ago. I still have very strong feelings for him. He was my first. Im going through all the different emotions. Everybody tells me to move on and that its going to be rough but you'll get through it. I feel horrible but I understand what they're saying and I'm trying my best to just focus on other things and just stay busy.

My ex and I met on a dating website. A few days ago I decided to put my profile back up. I don't want to jump into a relationship and I don't even want to start dating yet either. I just want to look for friends and people to hang out with. When I chat to guys on the site I tell them this right away. I'm not trying to replace my ex or make him jealous or looking for a 'rebound'. I just want to meet new people to maybe get my mind off things. I don't have a huge circle of friends and I don't really have any close guy friends, so I thought it would be a good way to break out of my shyness.

Is it too soon? I know I'm not even looking for dating, but sometimes I feel kind of weird doing it. Like I'm hurting my ex, even though he broke up w/ me so it shouldn't be an issue. I guess I don't want my mind to feel like I'm replacing him w/ some other guy. I don't want that, but I'm afraid I might start feeling that way.

I was dumped about a week ago as well.. and it's the second slap in the face I've received in my 22 years. I treat this break up differently because I feel for once I learned something from it and that's what you should try and extract from your experience as well.
No one can ever replace anyone as we're all different individuals and we react differently to situations. I understand where you're coming from as I've been out on 3-4 dates in the 2 weeks I haven't been with my ex girlfriend, and though I still care for her and would want to sort things out, I know that it isn't a possibility. I'm not dating in order to replace her, I don't even feel ready to move on yet, I'm only doing it to be surrounded by people and to convince myself that there are more fish in the sea after all. When I'm ready to date exclusively I'll move on - but you can never replace someone you lost. If you think of it like that then you'll never be happy with what you're receiving.

What's the hurry? Giving yourself time to heal, is essential, and recommended, before jumping back to the dating scene. This is a good chance to explore other areas of YOU, that you may not be aware of. Or develop skills, you have neglected. There is nothing like interacting with real people, to move yourself along, and discover what you like and dislike. Take a class, or volunteering for a good cause, is a great way to do something different, and learn, and meet new people. The net is fine, but where is the real live, and upfront, face to face, interaction that brings out the best in us. Sign up for golf lessons, or modern dance. The thing is get out, and get busy. Turn off the computer ,and get out of that chair, and introduce yourself to a great big world.

I agree with Talaniman. I was the same way with my ex, I still don't really date, or even pursue the opportunities. Because to me it's more I am betraying the feelings I had for my ex. So in essence betraying myself. But I still make friends, male and female lol and go out and dance (oh god I just love to embarress myself) shoot last night I rode a mechanical bull. Something I never thought id ever do. But it was fun, and even if everything else in life is hard right now, you'll find those moments of happiness.

And those moments will come more often. Just do things you've never done and wanted to. Say yes a little more often to spending time with friends even if its something you would never have done. (I never went to bars or clubs or parties, but I said yes when invited and have had a lot of fun.)

Life has a funny way of giving us what we need to survive, and never more than that. It's up to you to do the rest :)

I call what you're doing bounce. Basically, I find someone or multiple someone's to talk to and make me feel good because they are interested in getting to know me. I bounce from my ex to them. I did this when my fiancé and I split. I was taking a pottery class, and I met a really nice guy. All of this attention he was giving me was wonderful, but I felt like I was cheating on my ex. Even when he would simply touch my hand I would feel guilty. Emotionally, I was still with my ex. I wasn't ready. The guy knew I wasn't ready, but he still got hurt. I needed time to heal. I started working on me. I wasn't doing bad for myself when we were together, but there is always room for improvement.

To be honest the first thing I needed to do was figure out who I was again. I started taking college classes again, and I just finished my B.A. in English. To be honest taking time for myself turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I focused on things that would make my life better. It made me a stronger person, and it gave me the confidence to get back out there.

My basic point in all this ramble is that you should do something for yourself! You'll feel better about yourself , and then get back out there!!