Hello, I am a 19 yr old female and I have a very important question. I've been sexually active for a year and a half now. I use to masturbate when I was around fifteen and then stopped. It felt good but I didn't like it very much.anyways, now it hurts when I touch my clitoris. A lot. There is no pleasure whatsoever. I am worried because I know it cannot be normal. I also feel nothing during sex. I haven't told my boyfriend because I don't want him to feel like its his fault. I know its me. Its weird I feel nothing when he's in me at all. Nothing. It makes me very sad because everyone tells me how great sex is and I feel like I'm missing out. I'm almost 20 and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs. I just want to enjoy it as much as he does. I just want to enjoy it period. Sometimes he likes to touch my clitoris while we have sex I have to hide my tears and act like I enjoy it.it just hurts so much. Someone help me.

I'm very sorry to hear that you are having trouble with what is a potentially a source of total pleasure and bliss for you.

I'd like to give you some background. Not all women like to have their clitoris touched in any way... it is too painful. I am one of those people, so I would like to give you encouragement--you can start again on your road to pleasure. :)

Back to Basics. Masturbation. Once you get a good orgasmic response from masturbation, you will feel so much more confidence about your sexuality.

First, I would like to tell you that according to a study there are two ways women masturbate. One is direct hand on the clitoris and the other is squeezing the muscles in the thighs to bring on orgasm. Try aqueezing your thighs until you get what causes a nice feeling in your cl!t. Just practice when you can as you lie in bed relaxing, primarily.

Next, about the use of a vibrator. Don't apply a vibrator directly to your cl!t!! Place it on the mons pubis, the mound of venus where your pubic hair sprouts from. Gently let the vibrator quiver the area so you can feel it in the upper vaginal lip area... no pressure. You are looking to find your cl!t stimulated and then, turned on. Just enjoy the situation and relax. Don't force anyting.

Thirdly, find some literature that turns you on and read, read, read. Get naughty ideas that you really like. :D

Practice these gently ways to awaken your responsiveness... you're too sensitive for direct touch.

And, don't let your boyfriend touch your clitoris! No fingers, no lips, nothing. IT IS NOT FOR YOU AT THIS TIME.

I think that you should start to experience some success masturbating and then achieve orgasm at some time in the near future. Just relax and enjoy the various sensations; learn about your genitals. :)

Best wishes in 2008 and much pleasure in 2008,