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-   -   Father not seeing kids or paying (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=199453)

  • Mar 27, 2008, 09:00 PM
    lovemykids30
    Father not seeing kids or paying
    My children have lived with me for the past to years since the separation and their father has only seen them in the past year 4 times only a couple of hours each time we had a personal agreement for child support and he's stopped paying it, I won't claim child support through ird as we had an agreement. I want to move away to another town and take the children as it's work related and to expensive for us to stay in where we are, I am married to a man who has bought up the children and they are happy for the past two years can he get guardinship? Also the father of the children has a girlfriend whom doesn't even like my boys so what can I do need help please
  • Mar 27, 2008, 09:53 PM
    startover22
    You will have to go through the state to presume getting child support. The verbal agreement didn't work.
    Before you do anything I would suggest writing him a last chance letter, tell him that if he doesn't respond you will be formally going for support, and then you are thinking of moving. I think all kids deserve a chance with BOTH their parents. I know too many people that as children one parent moved from the other at some point and they have serious issues with their parents be it disrespect or something else, they have issues with the parent that took them away and the parent that did not follow. This is a huge move, be respectful and think about others when you make your choices. Good luck and I am so happy that your husband loves them so much! That doesn't take their real father out of the picture unless you let it. :) Good luck!
  • Mar 28, 2008, 08:23 AM
    ldyastrid
    Please go to Child Support and establish an order to pay! As their father, he has an obligation to support his children - THEY deserve that! When it's done through the C/S agency, if he doesn't pay, arrears will be built up and eventually, his tax return will be sent to you to pay toward his arrears. Child Support and Visitation are two different issues NOT connected to each other. How HE handles the visitation of the children is on him - establish visitation schedule and if he doesn't follow through, eventually the children will see the lack of interest he has in them. If he says he's paid his support and that's all he needs to do, he and the children will lose out - children need fathers. Transferring guardianship to your husband really won't change anything - not the love he has for them nor the love they have for him. You and your husband are making decisions about the kids - and from what I can gather based on your post, he's not making any decisions about the kids anyway - or paying for anything regarding them.

    It's your responsibility to do what's in the best interest of the children... if that means moving to increase your income, which will help with the expenses of bringing them up, then enjoy your new surroundings! Visitation can still happen with their dad... you may have to pay 1/2 the cost for getting them together, but that can all be worked out too.

    Best of luck to you!
  • Apr 5, 2008, 04:36 PM
    CubonnoDj
    I Have Been Threw The Same Thing... They Are Happy And That Is All That Matters...

    Your Kids Are Happy...
  • Apr 5, 2008, 04:43 PM
    CubonnoDj
    I Have Been Threw The Same Thing I Was Married For 10 Yrs And Received 3 Baby's From Him 5,8,10 And We Devorced 5 Yrs Ago The Baby He Only Saw A Hand Full Of Times In 5 Yrs The Past 3yrs I Remaried And Moved But I Also Received Full And Sole Custody Of The Children In My Devorce.. MY NEW HUSBAND WOULD BEGG HIM TO SEE THE KIDS AND EVEN PAY HIMM,, GO FIGURE... But I Remarried 3yrs Ago And He Now Rases The Kids And Knowing Hes The Step Dad They Call Him Dad.. And The 5yr Old Calls His Bio Dad By Name.. Me Tell Him He Is There Dad And He Said So This Is My Dad And He Is Here... I Guess What Im Trying To Say Is Your Kids Will See In The End Mine Have.. And My Ex Don't Pay Me Suport And Use To TILL HE REMARRIED A WOMAN W 3 KIDS OFF THE NET WITHINN 2 WEEKS .SHE Don't LIKE OUR KIDS AND Don't LET HIM VISIT ALONE . ALSOHIS WIFE ALWAYS WANTS TO FIGHT AND MAKE MY KIDS CALL HER MOM WHEN THEY HAVE THEM AND THEY Don't WANT TO SO THEY GOT IN TROUBLE.. STUPID HU.. SHE TELLS HIM NOT TO PAY ME AND MY KIDS GO TO PRIVITE SCHOOL.I Really Don't CARE IF HE PAYS DUE TO . I Don't Want The Bother.. Why I Know Its Important For The Kids To Have Their Dad But They Have One He May Not Of Made Them But He Tells Them He Helps Where He Left Off... And Is So True Except In The Past 3yrs Married To This Wonderful Man He Has Done More For Them Than My Ex Ever Could And Would... They Are Happy And That Is All That Matters...

    SO THE QUESTION I ASK YOU IS ARE YOUR KIDS HAPPY CAUSE THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.REMBER YOU HAVE TO DO What's BEST FOR YOUR KIDS AND ANY CORT WOULD TELL YOU THAT... AND MOST IMPORTANT
    Your Kids Are Happy...

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