Ask Me Help Desk - Girl wants a break

Girl wants a break

Me and my girl have been dating for over 2 1/2 yrs and were serious a few times. Its been almost a year straight now. She's been talking about a break since November. She's done it before and gotten back with me 12 hours later, 1 hour later, 2 days later and in one case said some crazy about having sex with other guys while sleeping over and the next morning said she didn't know what came over her. This past Friday she brought it up again and I agreed with her. She says she's still young and very confused and doesn't know what she wants. She's considering us single for the time being(I guess to protect herself). She called in tears last night saying she still loves me and misses me and wants to be together just not right now. I asked if it was because she met someone else and she said no(I believe her, she's not one to lie and I can see right through her anyway). She wants space pretty much. She let me keep her car key which is really weird and said shell hang out with me really soon and see what happens. I've been doing pretty well the past few days going out and having fun on my own. I figured if I leave it be then the old "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours" will come into play. Now I already know keep going and having fun, let her have her space stuff, I just want an opinion on this its really strange. I told her I'm not waiting around forever because I need to do me. She is bipolar whish could have a big part in this. I'm pretty fairly sure shell come back though, we had a great thing going.

Quick update, she's been calling me and talking to me. Just keeping things friendly for the time being. It seems like she really wants me back. We have mentioned our relationship a few times but keeping ti simple. She told me we just need to learn how to give each other our space. Hmmm.. shes an odd girl. She changed her whole myspace around and its kind of confusing some of the things she did saying she just wants someone special.. I think she's testing me. Well any opinion would be nice. I might be seeing her this upcoming weekend if she's not too busy

Dude, if she has been diagnosed bipolar, and is on meds you should really educate yourself on this issue as much as you can, to at least know what your dealing with, and honestly ask if you CAN deal with this. If she is bipolar, and not on meds that is a whole different issue, but you need to find out for sure.

Tell her to stop messing around - it seems to me as though she is being an attention seeker and trying to make you jealous. Ask her and say finally once and for all what do you want with us do you want to make it work or are we going to end it. Do it there and then and don't drag it on any longer. This seems like such a waste of time! Get on with your life!

Quote:

she called in tears last night saying she still loves me and misses me and wants to be together just not right now.

She doesn't sound bipolar at all. She sounds as if she is exploring.

Quote:

She changed her whole myspace around and its kind of confusing some of the things she did saying she just wants someone special.. I think she's testing me.

I don't think this is a test, but you can wait if you want to, but you have been given fair warning, as to what to expect.

She's definitely bipolar and has been on meds for years. She really is very VERY confused. She tells me she doesn't want to live without me but that life is so stressful lately. I know there's alotta mixed messages here which certainly makes it all the more confusing than it should be but I really do care for the girl and putting up with her mood swings isn't that difficult for me. She has A LOT of trouble expressing herself so that is one of her main problems. I'm not quite ready to give up yet but I told her if she can't make up her mind I'm gone.

OK she asked me to see her last night so I went over and we chatted had a good time but when it came time to leave she got really upset and hugged me and wouldn't let me go. She said she loves me and misses me like crazy and all she wants is to be with me but that she's worried about her problems causing us to take a break again and again. She wants me to be her friend for a while and see where it goes, she just needs the support because I'm the only one who really understands her. Its really upsetting and confusing, however things should work out.

Well were back together. I went over her house and she cuddled up on me and apologized. We had a big honesty session I told her how I tried to screw another girl and she said she tried to screw another guy but neither of us could really go through with it. Strangely enough we forgave each other and agreed that we can work things out. Well I hope for the best!

Wow!! Sounds like you are a guy that would rather put up with bs than to be alone!! I personally would not put up with this. You have been on a rollercoaster and will continue to be on one for the rest of your life if something does not change. Are you really sure that you want to live the rest of your life in this manner? She may be a loving girl when she is up, but having to deal with the rest when she is down - I feel sorry for you.

If you REALLY want to make this work, may I suggest that the two of you go to couple's counseling? This is not just for married couples. She should be on medication and stay on it. She also needs to see a therapist to work through her issues until she is more stabilized. You CAN have a relationship with a bipolar individual, but it takes A LOT of work on both sides. She is the only one who can get the help that she needs. You can't force her to do this, but you can make suggestions and hope that she wants to do this.

You will continue to have an uphill battle if you just want to sweep these problems under the rug and assume that love will conquer all. Yeah, love conquers a lot, but it doesn't cure diseases. Bipolar is a disease that cannot be ignored.

Quote:

Wow!! Sounds like you are a guy that would rather put up with bs than to be alone!!

Glad your happy, hope it lasts. Work on your issues together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by seaniboi77

. she tells me she doesnt wanna live without me but that life is so stressful lately.

When you love someone and life stresses you out, people cling to loved ones.

I am a very patient person and she's been going to therapy for a long time. We agreed to work out our problems and were doing pretty well

That's great I hope it works out.

I also hope that things work out for the best. Love IS patient and kind.