I've been best friends with a lady for over five yrs now. We started dating after two years but had our personality clashes and issues.After a year, she chose to be with this other guy she met but he didn’t want to date her for his personal reasons and personality issues and broke her heart. We kept on being friends after that and then dated on and off for some time while remaining friends.
She later left me for someone else she claimed she didn’t love but had all the attributes she would have loved in someone. She told me she didn’t love me like she used to but she cared about me a lot because of everything we’ve been through. I then distanced myself from her as I couldn’t stand being friends with her because of my feelings. She broke it off with the new guy after couple of weeks and told me she didn’t love him and she really wanted to be with me as she loved me a lot and begged me to take her back. Since I loved her, we decided to give it a try and see how things worked out. I also learnt the first guy she chose over me was really after her but she told him we were seeing each other but despite that I felt she still had strong feelings for him but was too scared to date him.We still had our personality issues and I tried to work it out but it just seemed something was missing as I was the only one really ready to compromise.

I later learnt she still loved this guy and didn’t love me. But because she knew I was no longer interested in friendship by the way the two of us, she was ready to sacrifice her happiness with the guy to be friends with me or date me. She tells me she really wants to be with me but she loves someone else and doesn't mind letting go of the other guy. I don't know what to do about it.

Darlin, do you want to settle for being second best? Do you want to be a convenience or a priority?

You deserve to be a priority, you don't deserve to be treated like she is treating you. She's treating you like the old pair of jeans in the back of the closet - always faithful, always fit - while she's trying on new pairs.

Don't settle to be the comfy pair of jeans when you just might be the perfect little black dress for some amazing girl, right around the corner!

:D

She seems to be very honest with you and has shared every detail of a not so rare state of mind and you might agree she needs to "find herself." Be smart and find a way out of further involement. Your life should be of value to you and others and to gamble would be foolish.

She has laid it out pretty well, with her words, and actions, so its really up to you, if your going to be there while she explores the world. You're her safe haven, on her journey with others, and honestly, ain't that much love in the world, that would make me give up my dignity, and self respect, to someone who would so boldly use me, for her own agenda. Break this cycle, and don't look back. She isn't even a good friend.