Ask Me Help Desk - He says he needs space

He says he needs space

My boyfriend has been through a lot of bad things in his life, his dad killed himself when he was only 15 and ever since than he has been supporting himself he just started to go to school. And he had been very stressed out, and a month ago he told me he needed a break some space because he needs to clear his head out. And I said okay and after that I started to hear rumors that his older cousin doesn't like me and his older cousins girlfriend is also friends with my boyfriend well she has been bad mouthing me too. It sucks because he thinks she would never try to hurt him or give him bad advice and I understand what he is going through but its so hard for me. I don't know what to do anymore,I want to talk to him about it but he asked for space I don't know what to do

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Originally Posted by ssidhu

my boyfriend has been thru a lot of bad things in his life, his dad killed himself when he was only 15 and ever since than he has been supporting himself he just started to go to school. and he had been very stressed out, and a month ago he told me he needed a break some space because he needs to clear his head out. and i said okay and after that i started to hear rumors that his older cousin doesnt like me and his older cousins gf is also friends wiht my boyfriend well she has been bad mouthing me too. it sucks because he thinks she woudl never try to hurt him or give him bad advice and i understand wat he is going thru but its so hard for me. i dunno wat to do anymore,i want to talk to him about it but he asked for space i dont know wat to do

Give him the space that he needs.. because if he is listening to his family or friends, it means he can't make his own decision. He will come to realize that in the end the only opinion that matters is his own. They can't shelter him forever, but he has to learn that for himself. Give him that space even if it hurts you, but remember the only person you can make TRULY happy is yourself.

One more thing, RUMORS.. I wouldn't waste my time on.. Go by what he is telling you, because no one can force him to break up with you it was his decision, they can influence him however they can't MAKE him... so the fact they may have put a bug in his ear is irrelevant. He wants his space and that is what He Said... Give it to him or risk the chance of pushing him away if you do contact him

Give him what he asks for and move your life forward with things and people you enjoy. For whatever reason he ain't happy so why should you be held back by his problems?

Its been a month of me waiting and giving him his space should I keep waiting or finally talk to him about it?

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Originally Posted by ssidhu

its been a month of me waiting and giving him his space should i keep waiting or finally talk to him about it?

NO give him his space, You are waiting because you want to wait, YOU don't have to wait

You see what you are doing here? You are waiting for him because you choose too now you think a month has passed and its enough.

May be enough time for you, but obviously not enough time for him did he contact you yet? If he has not contacted you it means he probably isn't ready

But if you must speak to him go ahead... and be prepared if you don't get the reaction you expect,, then you will have to start all over with healing again...

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Originally Posted by ssidhu

its been a month of me waiting and giving him his space should i keep waiting or finally talk to him about it?

If he hasn't contacted you in a month, then best to be doing what you must to rebuilding your life without him.Waiting for someone to change their mind is so futile.

As with the above posts. Don't contact him and give him the space that he needs. It isn't worth contacting him and having him get upset with you because you didn't listen. And like what jolinore said, If he has to side with his family then he obvioulsy can't make his own decisions. That is so right. I would go on with your life.. and if he gets in contact with you then great but its not worth waiting around for.

Yeah that's fine but isn't this going to create differences between us and well be drifted apart like its been a month how much more time does he need and he hasn't even toldl me why. I know nothing

Your already in limbo, with differences between you. There are no more to create. Your just saving yourself some dignity here, by walking away. You may want closure, but that's not happening. Get your own closure by accepting your new found freedom, and getting away from an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy, and dysfunctional.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your already in limbo, with differences between you. There are no more to create. Your just saving yourself some dignity here, by walking away. You may want closure, but that's not happening. Get your own closure by accepting your new found freedom, and getting away from an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy, and dysfunctional.

I couldn't have said it better...

You know what if you must CALL HIM, but be warned your going to come back to this forum asking why.. why... why... DO what you want, if you need that closure.. It's your choice in the end, but be prepared if he doesn't answer or respond.

I would do that, but why would he tell me he still wants to be together, like when he told me he wanted space he said he wants to be together, and his best friend tells me that he doesn't want to break up and he really loves me and when one of his girl-friend told him to dump me he told her to to f*** off and he got rreally mad and walked away it just doesn't make any sense

Your listening to words, when what counts is actions. Your own post is evidence of how unhealthy this has become.