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-   -   For real or not (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=198308)

  • Mar 24, 2008, 10:56 PM
    GRSas
    For real or not
    I have met a lady through a christian dating service. She is from Accra Ghana. We have been talking back and forth every day for 2 1/2 months. We have talked on the phone. She wants to come to Canada. She has sent many pics a while back and some new ones recently. She wants to get a passport and visa, I said I would pay for it from here. She is in total agreement of it. Should I trust her? It feels she is being sincere.
  • Mar 24, 2008, 11:16 PM
    2008chrissy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GRSas
    I have met a lady through a christian dating service. She is from Accra Ghana. We have been talking back and forth every day for 2 1/2 months. We have talked on the phone. She wants to come to Canada. She has sent many pics a while back and some new ones recently. She wants to get a passport and visa, I said i would pay for it from here. She is in total agreement of it. Should i trust her? It feels she is being sincere.


    No one here will be able to tell you if you can trust her.
    You're the only person who can answer that... but the fact that you've felt you needed to come onto this website to ask for advice on a matter that is causing you some stress and doubt might be worth looking into. Remember this is just a person on the internet who you have never met. People are not always who they say they are. I am female living in Georgia and that is what my information says, but couldn't I just as easily be someone or anyone else? Maybe she just wants a free ticket to the united states and you are buying into it, literally...

    Just do what your instinct always tells you.
  • Mar 24, 2008, 11:43 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 2008chrissy
    Just do what your instinct always tells you.

    OOOh, Chrissy, you were doing so well until that LAST comment.

    GRSas, please DON'T follow your instincts... unless you have a track record of never miscalculating other people, situations, people's feelings, your own feelings, the future, the past, the stock exchange... whatever.

    I would offer that common sense is NOT instinctive, it is a result of forcing yourself to pay attention to all the info and not pretend things aren't what they really are.

    You don't know this girl. You know OF her. You know what she wants you to, and any/all of that could be completely fabricated.

    What does she want to come to Canada for? A short visit? To live? To try a whirlwind romance with a Canadian Christian?

    Well, whatever the reason, keep your wits and your good sense God gave you when dealing with her. Don't do anything that is stupidly trusting or risky, nor should you expect to even get requests from her that fall into this category. If it happens, even ONCE, beware.
  • Mar 25, 2008, 12:04 AM
    Synnen
    Do NOT give money to someone you don't know.

    And really--2.5 months is NOT enough to "know" her.

    If she wants to come to Canada to visit, GREAT! Let her pay for it.

    If she keeps talking to you for a LONG time after you say no, without asking again--she MIGHT be sincere.

    If she disappears after you say no--well, you know she was just after your money, hmm?
  • Mar 25, 2008, 09:31 AM
    HistorianChick
    I agree with Synn...

    You can establish an amazingly solid foundation through correspondence. History tells us of lovers who exchanged hand-written letters back and forth, courted with family in tow, and fell in love through the postal service. So yes, it CAN happen. You can get to know a lot about someone before ever meeting them in person.

    BUT do not (I repeat, do not) pay for her to get a passport, get a visa, or buy a ticket to Canada. Anyone can play a game and be what you want them to be in order to swindle you out of money. If she wants to come meet you, then let her come and meet you on her nickel. Or, go halfway... not sure where that would be, lol, but consider it.

    Invest in developing this relationship, yes, but don't open yourself up to being swindled.

    She may be everything you ever dreamed of and more... but don't let the possibility outweigh your common sense. Keep a clear head about you - this is exciting! Hope it all works out for you.

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