We have been going out for a few years now and I have noticed for a long time now its just me who initiate sex I mean we do it every weekend and yes she does surprise me once in a while but most of the time its me and its annoying I feel like the aggressor allll the time. And when I tell her she says she does it all the time and gets mad. Why is she like this. And she says she wants to do it but its my job to start everything.

Just don't say/do anything and if she initiates, she wants to, if not, s he doesn't feel like it... if she gets upset just say that you wish she would initiate more often, because you like to be pursued sometimes too!

Maybe she is bored... do you always do the same thing the same way? How about foreplay. It's a trap many couple fall into all the time.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Maybe she is bored...do you always do the same thing the same way? How about foreplay. Its a trap many couple fall into all the time.

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O no we always change it up and sort of I really don't know anymore I just want something different she's done it a few times and it was amazing and when I ask if she can do it again she like maybe and that maybe never comes but she always says she wants to she pretty much says it blatantly but I have to start turning her on

Sometimes women are raised, or just somehow got it in their heads that the man is supposed to initiate sex.

She may want you to "turn her on " because it works better for her that way. Most men turn on and are ready in 30 seconds. It can take a woman 30 minutes or more to be ready.

Talk to her about taking turns initiating. Make it a game. Read about women's sexuality, there's a lot to it that many women don't understand. That's fun too, especially if you ask her to try something she might like.

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Originally Posted by jefecito87

we have been going out for a few years now and i have noticed for a long time now its just me who initiate sex i mean we do it every weekend and yes she does surprise me once in a while but most of the time its me and its annoying i feel like the agressor allll the time. and when i tell her she says she does it all the time and gets mad. y is she like this. and she says she wants to do it but its my job to start everything.

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She's right.

All conflicted areas in *successful* relationships are negotiated. :)

Many people rely on magic when they should just be negotiating! :D

Tell her you want her to initiate sex 3(or whatever) times a month. Ask her what she would like you to do in exchange for her accommodating your desire... like take her out to dinner at a nice place once a month, for example. Whatever.

All happy life is give and take. :)

Tell her you want to challenge her to turn you on

Try and find out what she really likes... not just what you think she likes. Sometimes those can be very different things. Many women can be very reluctant to discuss their secret desires, particularly if they deviate even a little from that commonly accepted norm of missionary.

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Why do i have to initiate sex every time almost

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Simply put, a lack of communication, and an unwillingness to work together to resolve your issues, and a clear case of a lack of imagination, or creativity. You could always stop initiating the sex for a while, and see what she does about it. Discovering your wife's sexuality, should be fun for you both.

Communications is #1. Took years for my wife to really open up. Then what we discovered is the stuff that most turns her on is some of the last things either of us would have expected. And part of it is stuff that when first mentioned a few years earlier she didn't want to admit she really, really liked.

So your significant other both have to have an open mind AND be willing to admit to it. That takes a great degree of trust, a lot more from some than others.