Ask Me Help Desk - I cut her off -but she just text

OK I need some very urgent advice. I wrote my ex girlfriend an email on Thursday asking her if she would be so kind to bloody tell me where we stand... last night she came on msn, put herself as 'away', didn't reply to my message I sent her on Facebook and then she logged off! So out of anger, annoyance and general bordeom of the whole situation I knew I had my answer right there and so I sent her another message saying how sad I am to be doing this but I got to let her go, move on and had enough of the game she was playing with me. And then I blocked her on my Facebook and msn. She tetx me this morning syaing she only got the message on sat night, knew she couldn't give me a 'i don't know answer' and didn't want to be all causally friendly with me on msn, but she knew she'd have to sit down and reply properly to that message soon enough. She said she is so sad and angry at herself that she can't make a desiosn and is so worried that I am angry with her sinc eshe 'thinks so much of me'. I haven't replied yet and I fi do ill do it later on... but should I even bother replying and if I do what should I say. I still love her and would love her to turn around and say she loves me too lets give it another try but ivehad enough of her childish games. I have to se her again in 4 weeks back at college once term starts again. So any advice would be great by tonight. Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by srulik86

. i still love her and wud love her to turn around and say she loves me too lets give it another try but ivehad enough of her childish games.

I think you just really answered your own question, if you had enough then why are you trying so hard. A relationship should be equal and with one person investing all the emotion and effort your survival at a successful relationship is slim. Her being confused and you pressuring her for an answer is not going to change her mind and if it does, you will resent putting pressure because it will only leave you in limbo.. did she really want you back?

What if she says yes? And really deep inside is still confused your rekindled relationship can turn out to be worse than it started. Because she felt inclined to give you an answer because you just couldn't accept her being confused. You can't really change her mind or make her realize anything this is something she must do on her own, and the best way she can think with a clear mind, is if you give her the space she is asking for. NO contact is advisable is situations like these, and if she wants a break and want to end this relationship whenever she contacts you don't be so eager to respond back as if you were desperate. You need to allow her time to live up to her choice she made to be without you. That means no contact until you can clear your own mind and figure out if this is what you really want.

DO you want to be in a relationship that is unbalanced, and is revolved around her decision to continue it or not? Its like either way the ball is in her court, its all her decision of this relationship will continue or not, and you are just hanging around, waiting. You are giving her way too much control and I know you love her but LOVE yourself enough to know what is good for you and what is not. Not saying that you can't get together at some later time, but that time can only happen once you stop contact and be comfortable being in the same room as she is without being affected..
In the end don't be blind to what you really deserve, and if you love her that much.. you will let her decide and accept her decision if she doesn't want to be with you..

"i cut her off -but she just text - what do i do now?"

If you have had enough of getting messed about then ignore any text and just move on. I'm wondering how long you have been going out with each other and I am also wondering why you can't just sit down and talk about this, and if it must end so be it, at least you'll know where you stand and you will have closure. All this texting and checking out each others message boards and blogs is silly. Go talk to her, demand to know what she is playing at.

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Originally Posted by bluerose

All this texting and checking out each others message boards and blogs is silly.

I know I agree unfortanetly, texting, email etc. is an easier way to communicate without the emotion/anger involved. I know for me when I don't want to talk to a particular person, I shoot and email or text, its to avoid communication, but again I wouldn't be using those forms of communication in a relationship, because its really hard to read someone's emotion via text.. If she really wanted to respond she would have called once she received his message...

If you've had enough, say so with words, and actions, and go about making your life happy, without her in it. No Contacting her, or texting, emailing or smoke signals. Just disappear from her life. The same goes for her contacting you. Make your choice, and stick to it.