Ask Me Help Desk - Deeply depressed

I have been very depressed this week and today, on Easter Sunday, I feel unable to get out of bed.

I have financial problems which I´m dealing with and have been posting at another site, but I have other issues as well. I have no family since I´m divorced with no children. The only family member I see is my elderly mother. She lives in a house jointly owned with my brother and his family. They don´t live there at the moment, but come now and again.

The problem is that they seem to dislike my visits to my mother when they are staying at the house. My mother has to live in attick when they are there and she feels like a guest in her own home. They will be moving in permanently next summer.

I just heard that and now I feel overwhelming loneliness. I won´t be able to visit the only remaining family member I have and I feel really bad about this.

I would love some advice.

Violet

Hi Violet and what a beautiful name,

First, you are not alone. Depression can fall upon us for so many reasons, some in our control and some not.

I share the same shoes with you now, so, I know somewhat of your pain, not all, but some.

First, IT HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU! Forget all those things for the moment, that make you sad.

That is the problem with holidays, sometimes it intensives the feeling of being alone.

There could be minor medical problems contributing to your depression and you should call your doctor tomorrow and let them know that you would like a blood work up.

There are things in our body that can intesify these hopeless feelings (like tyroid as well as others).

Get out of bed, walk over to the radio, play your favorite upbeat station, and do some things that make you feel you are accomplishing something.

Get a piece of paper and start a journal and put down all your thoughts.

You are a precious human being... know that and believe that.

If you still feel in a funk - pull out your white pages and look up crisis hot line, they can advise you as well.

Please do these things, otherwise I will worry, it is what I do best :)

If all that fails, the Emergency Rooms are open, and you can always run your symptoms by them.

My heat and hand to you.

Thanks for your reply, Allheart.

I decided to follow your advice and put on some music. Then I got dressed and went outside to look at the trees in my garden.

I recently had a full medical check-up. No thyroid, no physical problems. Just depression I´ve been dealing with on and off for a very long time. I´m on meds, but maybe there is time to talk to my shrink and have them changed.

Holidays make me sad, this is true. I did write in my diary, but it makes me sad. I see I have the same problems for the past ten years. No children, no significant other...

I just think families are so important. I was estranged from mine for a long time and it took me such a long time to get close to my mom again. I recently lost my father and now I feel I´m losing her too.

God bless you Allheart and Happy Easter. I feel Ok enough to get dressed.

Violet

Bless you Violet,

And I do understand. No little kiddies for me either, but I look at it this way... I would worry myself sick over them and then drive them bonkers.

Violet, yes, it's time to revaluate the meds. Sometimes, they just decide not to work anymore.

If it's anywhere near your cycle, and it's a holiday, compouned with everything else... even more understandable.

But Violet, and these are not just words... You have YOU. You will always be there for you,
You will never betray yourself, or say unkind words to yourself, you will take good care of yourself... Start there.

The world can wait until you start to feel better. Make an appt. with the doc. Be good enough to yourself to do that.

Sending many good wishes.

Thanks again for you advice, Allheart.

It is so good to know that someone cares. Your reply helped me to get going and have dinner with my mother and some of my extended family. I wanted to cancel, because I felt really sick. I got myself going and it went surprisingly well. I feel more hopeful now.

I will be seeing my doctor on Friday. I have an appointment. I wanted to cancel that as well, because I didn´t feel I had the energy. I feel better now and I will go. You were right, it´s that time of the month. I just finished my periods.

Normally I can function quite well when I´m surrounded by people and busy at my work, but in my present dilemma, (finances and loneliness), I can get so ill I cannot move.

What do you think it´s best to do, besides reaching out and asking for help online? Besides, istening to music and going out, of course. My instinct is to make a plan to help myself to feel better, but maybe that doesn´t work so well.

My best wishes to you. You really were there for me and I am so grateful.

Violet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Violet31

Thanks again for you advice, Allheart.

It is so good to know that someone cares. Your reply helped me to get going and have dinner with my mother and some of my extended family. I wanted to cancel, because I felt really sick. I got myself going and it went surprisingly well. I feel more hopeful now.

I will be seeing my doctor on Friday. I have an appointment. I wanted to cancel that as well, because I didn´t feel I had the energy. I feel better now and I will go. You were right, it´s that time of the month. I just finished my periods.

Normally I can function quite well when I´m surrounded by people and busy at my work, but in my present dilemma, (finances and loneliness), I can get so ill I cannot move.

What do you think it´s best to do, besides reaching out and asking for help online? Besides, istening to music and going out, of course. My instinct is to make a plan to help myself to feel better, but maybe that doesn´t work so well.

My best wishes to you. You really were there for me and I am so grateful.

Violet

Oh Violet I am so glad you got yourself going, because sometimes it's the hardest things.
Even on the meds, you will have down days. Having down days, sometimes is okay, it just
Is a matter of the intensity.

I am starting a journal and each day just jotting down some thoughts.

Do you see a thereapist as well? I just started myself. ( one visit) but it actually did help.

Finances is a difficult one. Can you make a budget. Maybe consolidate all your debt and pay them off with some sort of bill consolidating loan?

If you have major credit cards call them and ask them to lower their interest rate.

Lonliness - Maybe just one day a week you could volunteer at a hospital or some sort of facility. This will not only be good for the people you are helping but you will meet more people and in a way, make you feel good inside.

Keep that doc appt. Before you go, write down all you want to tell him or her. I know when I go, I sometimes forget.

Violet, I am so sorry you are going through this, but I promise I do understand.

First thing, see the doc and reevaluate the meds.

Oh and we are always here for you :).

Remember, you were the one that actually got up and going... so be proud of that.

My very best to you. :)

I suffer with depression too. It hurts in every corner of my body. I don't take meds. I would recommend exercise on a daily basis (walking or swimming) Pets help depressed people. They offer unconditional love. Try reading. I read and it leaves me no room to be dwelling on my unreasonable self inflicted painful thoughts. Also, pray to God and do not give up. I prayed for a good man, I never gave up praying and after a year a good man appeared in my life. It was then I knew God was working on it all along. God bless your soul.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pasiria

I suffer with depression too. It hurts in every corner of my body. I don't take meds. I would recommend exercise on a daily basis (walking or swimming) Pets help depressed people. They offer unconditional love. Try reading. I read and it leaves me no room to be dwelling on my unreasonable self inflicted painful thoughts. Also, pray to God and do not give up. I prayed for a good man, I never gave up praying and after a year a good man appeared in my life. It was then I knew God was working on it all along. God bless your soul.

Pasiria - (another beautiful name)

Glad to see you again. I didn't know you also suffered with depression. But all the advice you gave is right on and prayer truly helping.

I have a combo of depression (which is all new ) as well as anxiety, so boy do I have parties inside of me. They just discovered that my thryroid is not what it should be, so that's why I learned to check medically first.

It can be a dark tunnel, but we are all holding hand together.

Bless you as well Pasiria - and may smiles always be yours.

Violet - Hope today is a little better - but don't feel bad if it's not. We're here.

Allheart and Pasiria,

I want to thank both of you for your kind words.

I do feel better today. I woke up feeling relaxed and relieved, because the depression is not as bad.

After dinner yesterday I called the hospital where my shrink works. She wasn´t on duty, but her coworker, a very nice doctor talked to me on the phone. He told me to increase the dose of my meds very slightly until I see my doctor on Friday.

Maybe that helped me. Maybe the fact that Easter is almost over and work starts tomorrow.

I do have pets, Pasiria. I love them so much. I also have a little niece I see often. There is a special bond between us. I think I feel bad because my financial situation is so bad, but I have already seen a financial adviser and will be seeing another one soon. I am writing down everything I spend so I know what my budget is.

I will exercise more, because that really helps.

Sending both of you love and thanks, you truly helped. :)

Violet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Violet31

Allheart and Pasiria,

I want to thank both of you for your kind words.

I do feel better today. I woke up feeling relaxed and relieved, because the depression is not as bad.

After dinner yesterday I called the hospital where my shrink works. She wasn´t on duty, but her coworker, a very nice doctor talked to me on the phone. He told me to increase the dose of my meds very slightly until I see my doctor on Friday.

Maybe that helped me. Maybe the fact that Easter is almost over and work starts tomorrow.

I do have pets, Pasiria. I love them so much. I also have a little niece I see often. There is a special bond between us. I think I feel bad because my financial situation is so bad, but I have already seen a financial adviser and will be seeing another one soon. I am writing down everything I spend so I know what my budget is.

I will exercise more, because that really helps.

Sending both of you love and thanks, you truly helped. :)

Violet

Sending tons of love back to you and reminding you... you really are not alone. :)

Love you Violet,
Allheart