Does this guy have some sort of personality disorder or what?
I was going out with a guy for almost 2 years. In late January, he started picking fights with me out of the blue, and distancing, and being hot/cold, and was suddenly with a capital S riddled with doubts about whether we should break up or not. He's done this sometimes in the past, and we've talked about it, and he agreed he wouldn't do it anymore--that he would try to stay 'present' and talk things out--and he was good about that for several months... a couple times he 'slipped' but was quick to apologize and reassure me. So, things were going great--we hadn't had any major arguments for months, we were talking a lot and laughing about things and having so much fun together... we were talking about going to New York for the weekend next month... Christmas was wonderful, and he talked about what we would do NEXT Christmas with his family... When friends asked me how things were going with us, I'd give a big smile and say 'GREAT!' I felt like I had finally found someone right for me.
So, one night, we had really hot sex--our sex life was excellent--and I had this weird thing happen--extreme pain during orgasm. The same thing had happened about a month previous, and he was SO supportive and kind. He was that night, too, but the next morning--even though he made me French toast, which was sweet of him--I could feel him starting to do his 'distance' thing... it's hard to explain, but I've gotten very good at 'picking up the vibe,' whether in person, on the phone... even via the tone of an email! I can always tell when he's ready to pull his emotional disappearing act. Anyway, he was cold that night on the phone. I confronted him about it, and he BLEW up, raging at me in a way he hadn't for well over a year (when he did it then, I told him I would not tolerate being talked to in that tone, and he never did it again until that night).
To make a long story short... he became more distant... he jerked me around a few times with 'let's break up,' 'no, let's be together,' 'no, let's break up.' He didn't call me or email for 3 weeks. (I called him and emailed him during the 1st week, but got tired of always intiating it). Anyway, after the 2 weeks of no contact--from a guy who had been calling me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for almost 2 years--I called him and broke up with him over the phone (he lives 2 hours away). I'd just HAD it... I felt like he wasn't respecting me at all, whenever I asked him if we were broken up or if he could explain himself he just said 'I don't know' and was vague, and he was leaving me to guess if we were still together or not. It was making me CRAZY!
Anyway, we haven't talked at all for a few weeks now. I can't stop obessessing about it... wondering what the hell happened! Of course I'm still madly in love with him and very hurt. I keep hoping he'll contact me and explain himself, but he hasn't. Part of me thinks I should send a brief email seeing if he would be willing to discuss things so I could have a sense of closure (by knowing why everything deteriorated so rapidly and why--after he had been treating me like the best thing since sliced bread for months--he suddenly just ditched me). There's no other girl--I know this for a fact--and I've heard it through the grapevine that he feels 'stung' by it all, but is trying to 'get over it' and move on.
This just feels like such a crazy mind game. I have no idea what happened at all, and I guess my question is: does it make any sense to even try to talk to him at this point? He seems extremely angry at me... but I swear I've done nothing to provoke this (as an aside, he hates all of his exes and has extreme anger at them, a red flag I should have paid more attention to, perhaps. I am friends or on good terms with all but one, well, now two, of my exes).
I feel like I could have titled this post 'I dated Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde and lived to tell the tale.'