I get recurring thoughts. Even if I say positive answer to myself it never stops

Is it like Obsessive Complusive?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: What It Is and How to Treat It -- familydoctor.org

Why don't you go to a physician and state your problem... you could probably be helped by anti-psychotics. In fact, they could change your life. Modern medicine has made a lot of progress in the last number of years developing drugs that break negative-psychotic thought patterns.