Twice in the last few days... once before and after being intimate with him... he walked out of the room after he got off and I was still playing with a toy??
Then, tonight, he walk in on me... the door was unlocked... and I said come on in... He left the room and was going to sleep in another room... I tried to ask why and he said. . He's going to sleep... asked if he was mad and said no... but actions said otherwise??
What to do?

He might not like the idea of you using toys.

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Originally Posted by l12

Twice in the last few days.......once before and after being intimate with him...he walked out of the room after he got off and I was still playing with a toy??????
then, tonight, he walk in on me....the door was unlocked....and I said come on in.....He left the room and was going to sleep in another room...........I tried to ask why and he said. . he's going to sleep....asked if he was mad and said no............but actions said otherwise???
What to do?

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It sounds like maybe your husband could be jealous. It also depends on what type of toy you are using. If it is a dildo or vibrator that could explain why he doesn't like you using it. And if it is a dildo/vibrator that is larger than the size of your husbands penis that could be a big reason too. Now, I don't know anything about your sex life, however, if he thinks you are enjoying using the toys more than having sex with him or if he thinks you get better pleasure from the toys than having regular sex with him, that could be another reason. My boyfriend actually bought me a vibrator but he said he wouldn't like me using a dildo vibrator because it would make him jealous. Guys are nutty. So. That's all my advice for you. Hope it helps :)

Sounds to me like maybe he doesn't like the idea of you getting off without him? I'd think he'd LIKE to see you doing that!

Some guys really get off on seeing it like girl on girl porn... some like me are fairly indifferent about those two things so I guess there are those that don't like it as well.

I wouldn't take it personally... some things that turn some people off are a major turn-on to others...

But I don't understand his reaction to it... I think there is another problem at play here than the masturbation thing.

I've seen my partner self stim with her fingers and with a small cl!toral vibe and I think its sexy.

The only time id be ticked is if the vibe was getting way more action that I was in the bedroom... any chance there's some distance in the bedroom? I know you said it was once before and once after... so you are obviously having sex, but how is it? Does he always initiate sex or do you do it? Does he get you to reach an orgasm? Do you ever self stim during intercourse and if so how does he react?

He could just be uncomfortable with the idea of watching you. He could think he isn't pleasuring you enough. How do you think he'd react if you asked him to self stim while you watched?

Might need more info about how life in the bedroom is to add more.

Some people consider self stimulation cheating.

I like what Woody Allen said, "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love."

I think it may be to do with him feeling that you feel the need to masturbate/use toys to gain sexual pleasure, rather than him being able to provide enough for you.
You could talk to him about it.

The other answers are all possibilities, but I think this one most likely (though the idea of it not being a 'turn-on' for him is also possible)

In my opinion it takes a pretty confident guy to be OK with his woman using a toy. You husband may not feel like he is living up to his "manly" duties. Most guys assume we should be able to pleasure a woman like no other. Maybe teach him the things you enjoy and help him learn to pleasure you with out the toy, and then when you do use it, its not a competition.

Put your vibrator away and use it when you are alone in the house, if you have to.

Your *husband* doesn't like it in his bed with him... show him a little respect, dear.

Now, start to work on your own sexuality so you are a really good sexual partner... woman to man.


Good luck in 2008,

She's NOT disrespecting her husband by using toys the same that a husband doesn't disrespect his wife by jacking off in the shower. That's just ridiculous.

This couple appears to be suffering from COMMUNICATION issue.
She is not talking to him, asking her to join her with it, use it on her and so on most likely, If he is home why not at least give him the option of being in there when it is going on ? So he just does not walk in and see it. With that he is not talking with her about what his issues are. And why if they are having sex and she is still playing, he gets up and leaves?? Then is there possible issues of him feeling replaced by the toy.

Yes, she is... *her husband* doesn't like it when she has the machine in bed **with them both**.
She can do what she likes when she's alone.

Get it??

Lets hear more details from her before we go at each other in circles.

We don't know anything more about whether he is a giving lover, whether he gets her off, whether he has performance issues, and on and on...

More info needed...

I have a feeling that he feels he is being... pushed on the back burner. Maybe he feels demasculated by this machine.

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Twice in the last few days... once before and after being intimate with him... he walked out of the room after he got off and I was still playing with a toy??

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Your partner is a selfish boob! What kind of guy quits before his wife gets off?? From your other posts, I gather there isn't a lot of honest communication, or a willingness to work together, to solve your issues. That's tough on you.