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-   -   Why do guys distant away? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=196523)

  • Mar 19, 2008, 06:58 PM
    CallaLily
    Why do guys distant away?
    I haven't been in a serious relationship for over a year now after getting out from a very long term one heart-brokenly. Have been going out on dates during this time but could never really meet the right person. Recently I met a guy whom I know from childhood but haven't spoken to for over twenty five years because his family moved to Europe. We met up again through a friend when he was in town visiting, I could feel the sparks and things hit off quickly. We went out several times and the feeling was amazing. Unfortunately we live thousand of miles apart. I never told him how I feel for him. When he left, I thought things would be over. To my surprise, he kept the effort to keep in touch and we maintain contacts on a daily basis. This continue for about several weeks until suddenly he stops replying to my emails and texts. Messaged him few more times but he became less talkative. I could feel he's drawing away but not sure why. Perhaps he's no longer interested and I don't intend to pursue any further. However, I am just very disappointed how things are now. I thought, after a long time, I finally meet a right person again but turns out maybe I am wrong. I try to think over and over again what I have done wrong. Have I been showing too much passion in this? Should girls really play hard to get for the guys to treasure?:o
  • Mar 19, 2008, 10:39 PM
    talaniman
    Don't beat yourself up, as the distance makes it really hard for even committed couples. You were just talking, so there was nothing either of you could do to keep that spark alive. Don't give up on yourself, and love yourself, and be happy who you are, and sooner or later, someone will want to share that happiness with you.
  • Mar 19, 2008, 11:18 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Guys run out of things to say, too. Men are visual, women are social/verbal, so you can keep up a "words only" relationship a LOT longer than he can. It's not a failure when he runs short of things to talk about, it just is what it is.

    Unless you make a big deal out of it. Long distance relationship... you sure this is the best you can do for yourself?
  • Mar 19, 2008, 11:59 PM
    TrueFaith
    It takes 2 people to make that work and as people say its hard even for strong couples. But its not your fault and if you're the only that's fighting for it well its not fair on you and you are better off :)


    And women are just as bad in this game. It's the typ of person your with.

    You'll find someone better
  • Mar 20, 2008, 03:00 AM
    CallaLily
    Am worried that I haven't done enough on my part and let go of something that could be right.
  • Mar 20, 2008, 11:08 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Worrying about things is frequently just wasted energy. If the reasons you had for breaking up were valid then, then they are valid now. Write them down and read them out loud to yourself.

    You'll always second guess yourself, but reality is what it is. Our memories will filter out that crap and we'll long for "the way things were" when in truth they weren't nearly as good as we remember them 6 months later. That's why that written list just might save you from making a SECOND big mistake.

    But, to be fair, maybe your reasons were silly. Only you can honestly say if that is true. Look at that list of reasons and judge it harshly. If your reasons were dumb, then you absolutely should consider another go with a guy who may be a great catch.

    Of course, it might still be too late if he's not in the mood to take back a girl who could break up for dumb reasons... so it may not be a simple as YOU getting to decide if you're going to get another chance. Understand?

    Read your list, make the call, then resist second-guessing yourself.
  • Mar 20, 2008, 02:11 PM
    TrueFaith
    I agree with JB on this one its so true

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