My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. We stayed friends and have even had sex twice but he made it clear that he doesn't want to get back together with me and doesn't love me anymore. One night I went to a club we said hi to each other but that was about it. There was a girl there and she was all over him so naturally I got upset. Later I saw a guy a kind of liked and started talking to him we ended up hooking up, I made sure my ex was no where around cause I wouldn't want him to see that. But one of his friends say and told him, recently I texted my ex and he told me he doesn't care about my life doesn't want to speak to or have anything to do that I crossed the line and he wouldn't care if I got hit by a bus and also that I should stop texting him because there are plenty of other girls he would rather waste his texts on and basically it was just really mean things that hurt me so much but he didn't care. I don't know if he was saying this cause he was upset or he really means it. Should I give him time to cool off or accept the fact that he really doesn't care about and found someone. I really need some advice I'm so lost and hurt

Why did you break up? Until that is solved there's no use talking about getting back together.

And when a guy says he doesn't love you and doesn't want to get back together... its probably the truth. Any sex you give him is just that... sex and nothing more.

how old you guys ? ^^

and I think that he in it for sex and now he got it he moved on...

but then he seen/her that you hooking up with some other pplz... it naturally would upset the guy b.c he think that he got you and all that...

forget about him and move on ^^ find a new guy a better one... way better

I also agree that it was just the sex that he was after. Since you guys were once an item, he knew that it was a sure thing, knowing that you were probably not totally over him. Sex is much different for males than it is for females, as we females always associate a deeper emotional connection with sex, whereas for males, it is more of a physical thing.

He IS toying with your heart, but you have more control than you think. Breaking up is NEVER easy, no matter who you are or who initiated it. It will get better with time. To think that you may have a future with this guy is only going to prolong the agony. Most likely, he likes to see you squirm. It worked when the other girl was hanging all over him. If he did not want her to hang on him, he could have told the girl to back off. He wanted you to react in a jealous way. Then when the tables were turned on him when you hooked up with that other guy, he did not like it because that is not how he wanted you to react. What a hypocrite he is. Have you ever heard of projection? Projection is when someone else accuses you of something that they are in fact guilty of. That is what he did when he said that you crossed the line. He was the one who initially crossed the line, which most likely prompted you to subconsciously react by hooking up with the other guy. You may think that you did not want him to know, but deep down inside, I think that you really did. You were feeling lonely and you just wanted to be wanted by someone. Since both of you are not in a relationship, I technically believe that neither one of you crossed any lines. The only thing that you have to be careful of is having sex just to fill a void, thinking that this will make you feel better. Believe me, it won't.

You need to distance yourself from this guy, and really from all guys for some time. The things that he said to you were hurtful. They are not the things that would come from someone who truly cares about you, no matter how hurt that he seems to be or how hurt he says he is. This is called emotional abuse and this is not a healthy relationship. There are a lot of good guys out there that would never dream of saying such things to a girl. I believe that you must focus on yourself and do a lot of soul searching. Find out what is important to you and what you NEED in someone else. Remember also that you can never be really happy unless you are happy with yourself. When you have a relationship with someone (romantic and otherwise) they need to add to your life, not take energy away from you and to make you miserable. If you are happy with yourself, you will exude confidence and happiness, which is the sexiest thing to other people. Who wants someone who is needy and is an emotional wreck?

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Originally Posted by lovestruck07

My boyfriend and i broke up about a month ago. We stayed friends and have even had sex twice but he made it clear that he doesn't want to get back together with me and doesn't love me anymore. One night I went to a club we said hi to each other but that was about it. There was a girl there and she was all over him so naturally i got upset. Later i saw a guy a kinda liked and started talking to him we ended up hooking up, i made sure my ex was no where around cause i wouldn't want him to see that. But one of his friends say and told him, recently i texted my ex and he told me he doesn't care about my life doesn't want to speak to or have anything to do that i crossed the line and he wouldn't care if i got hit by a bus and also that i should stop texting him because there are plenty of other girls he would rather waste his texts on and basically it was just really mean things that hurt me so much but he didn't care. I don't know if he was saying this cause he was upset or he really means it. Should i give him time to cool off or accept the fact that he really doesn't care about and found someone. I really need some advice i'm so lost and hurt

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I think that he never cared about you in the first place... Cause if he did, even if he was upset seeing you with another guy... he would never wish you got hit by a bus... That's immature!. I think its better you two move on... because he has little respect for you as a woman... n he seem to still want to play the game a bit. There are plenty of other guys out there too , he is not d only man so make sure you always portray confidence.

He cares that's why he's so mad. For some reason most ex's don't want you back, but don't want you to be with anyone else either. How did you cross the line if he's not your man, and how about him with the chic all over him?? Thoes were mean things for him to say, but give him what he wants even if that's not actually what he wants! Don't text him or call him ignore him and move on. Men say things they don't actually mean to be a man then regret it in the end.

This guy may care, but not in the right way. It is human nature to want what you can't have. That is what is happening to the both of you. He knows that he does not want a future with you, but he also does not want anyone else to have a future with you either. That is immaturity. Of course you are going to hurt, but you need to go through that hurt in order to fully move on. If you did not hurt, you would not be human. Whenever anyone goes through a breakup, you have to go through stages of grief, very similar to that of death and dying, as this is a death of a relationship. Be thankful that you did not have more vested with this person, such as a marriage with or without children (especially without children). You have to go through the phase of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. The person who identified these stages and described them is Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. She wrote a book on it and it is very helpful. It is boring reading, but it is VERY helpful. This helped me a lot with the death of my father when I was 11 and again when I went through my divorce. Life will get better with the passage of time. It also helps to understand what you are going through, why you are feeling a certain way, and to know that you are not alone, and this book fully explains it. The fact that you posted on this site is very healthy, as you are interested in getting help in this situation. That is very commendable. Keep moving forward. It will get better, believe me and the rest of the people who are here to help you. A lot of us have been in the very position that you find yourself in now.