As I was young I was rejected almost all the time. I lived a pretty sad life. One day I met this guy that told me that I was annoying and just needed to shut up. So that is what I did. I was simply socially withdrawn. I don't even have a love life. I tried, but all I got was you are weird (Rejection). Then my parents began fighting. I moved with my Dad. He made me work a lot. Later on I found out I had curvature of the spine and now can't lift 50 lbs. It is also embarrassing because I can't take my shirt off in summer or to go swimming. No one talks too me. If they do it is a snobby remark. I usually get depressed and lay in my bed all day wondering what the point of life is. At work for no apparent reason at all I get so hyper that I can work harder, faster, and much more efficiency of any one in the whole building. I do this with no emotion. Running on sadness and bitterness. What the hell is wrong with me. I am told I have ADHD and bi-polar (ultra-ultra cycling)disease.

Try finding a support group with people that have problems such as yours.
Look around the world there are some beautiful things in it. If people are the cause of your pain try to focus on the environment, animals, arts and crafts or other types of activities that can bring joy to your life.
I would consult a doctor about the spine problem, my son has a slight curve in his spine that the dr's are watching, they are not treating it yet but from the way they talk if it worsens there are treatments.

I already study everything that has to do with art. I just want to be normal. People have emotions and I think that because my mood changes so fast I scare them off.

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Originally Posted by ThreebadpointsUSA

I already study everything that has to do with art. I just want to be normal. People have emotions and I think that because my mood changes so fast I scare them off.

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I see several things that could be going on here.

#1 With the mood shifts you could be suffering from depression. I was, got help, and am doing MUCH better. I take zoloft. You may or may not need meds. Maybe you just need someone to talk with that can give you sound advice.

#2 You are believing the negative things that certain people have said to you. That does NOT make it a fact. You are not what they say. They are shallow, sad people that get their esteem by taking it away from others. There heart is cold so how happy could these people really be?

#3 You are giving off a bad energy because you have allowed these cold hearted people to dictate your life. That negative energy probably shows in your body language, your tone of voice, even in your eyes. Other people sense this and avoid it. Well girl-friend, IT's A NEW DAY! Starting right now. There will be no feeling sorry for yourself because there is nothing to feel sorry about. You are as capable and deserving to have a happy full life as anyone else. YOU ARE ENOUGH! Stand up straight, hold your head up, put a spring in your step, and open yourself up to the people that could benefit from having a friend like you.

#4 You have the power. You always had it. Just like Dorothy. You just didn't know it. We all have a positive spirit inside us. You just have to be silent and still long to recognize it. Check out Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth. It will help you separate that noisy negative loop that constantly plays in your head and the real you that is behind that.

# As far as your curvature, you may need a brace or even surgery if it is too severe. I don't know what your doctor is telling you, but keep him in the loop. My niece wore a brace for years, eventually she had to have a rod put in her back. Today she is a beautiful 25 year old nurse. Whatever happens you will and can get through it and come out of the other side. Again, your spine is not YOU.

Now,good Luck, and go out into the world with a new attitude.:)