My girlfriend and I ( she 22 me 26 ) have been together for a year now and things were going great, and recently she told me that she needed some "time and space". I'm the type of guy who is cool with that, I respected her request and gave her time and space. We met up for coffee after about a week and a half after just to catch up and see each other for 20min or so. All went well until about 2 weeks ago when she said she knows she loves me but just can't be with me right now. So in turn, I thought that I had done something wrong, trying to figure out why? And the reasons for it... but at the same time not letting it consume me because I have been through this before, little bit different situation though, and its not healthy to do so. Any way, at this point she is so brief with me that its seems like I am a bother to her and she just wants me to go away.. Although I have given her space, I don't call her, I have not pestered or bugged her about trying to make it work... this and that. I have been totally respectful of her and did nothing to hurt her only did what she asked. So my question is, why won't she tell me why she can't be with me? She has given me nothing to back up why. It was just all the sudden out of nowhere, and left me in the dark with no real answers from her. Any advice or thoughts on this?

She might just need some time to find her self and to think about what she wants from life. We all do this from time to time in are lives.just give her the time she needs she's told you she loves you and she can't be with you right now meaning after some time to think she'l come back to you and most probably explain why.
Don't forget she is 22 and still young I'm not saying you are old because your not myboyfriend is older than you [ he's 27 and I'm 24] but at her age I was thinking a lot about what I wanted from life and were I wanted to go from that point,and the same when I was 18.

Just give her time to think and she will call or come back to you when she's ready

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Originally Posted by COOKIE MONSTER

she might just need some time to find her self and to think about what she wants from life. we all do this from time to time in are lives.just give her the time she needs shes told you she loves you and she can't be with you right now meaning after some time to think she'l come back to you and most probably explain why.
dont forget she is 22 and still young im not saying you are old because your not myboyfriend is older than you [ hes 27 and im 24] but at her age i was thinking alot about what i wanted from life and were i wanted to go from that point,and the same when i was 18.

just give her time to think and she will call or come back to you when shes ready

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Thanks, I have heard this from many, I am playing it cool for now while still taking care of myself. It is all I can do. And you are right, she will be finishing school in about 6 months and know she's getting really busy with that. But you are right, its just hard being left in the dark with nothing to go with. Although she did say that she's not interested in finding the "next best thing" I trust her and only want the best for her. Another thing, we talked a little and she also said that she doesn't want to put a Label on our relationship at this time... Im a little confused by that?

I was going to ask if she was in school she will be under a lot of pressure right now with exams coming up and trying to get work finished,she just needs time to get it all done and out the way.

Not to sure about the labeling of arelationship never said or done that myself I'm sure somebody else on the site will no something about that.

Just hang in there dude but don't try to force her into talking to you cause then you may hear something you don't want too...

Well she's is 22 maybe she wants to see what else is out there before settling... not to sound rude... you shouldn't waste your time on a girl who doesn't know if she wants to be with you cause you may be missing out on the one your supposed to be with!

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Originally Posted by starfirefly

you shouldnt waste your time on a girl who doesnt know if she wants to be with you cause you may be missing out on the one your supposed to be with!

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Excactly

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Originally Posted by starfirefly

well shes is 22 maybe she wants to see what else is out there before settling...not to sound rude....you shouldnt waste your time on a girl who doesnt know if she wants to be with you cause you may be missing out on the one your supposed to be with!

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True, I went into it knowing she was younger at the time, but I took my chance. The only thing I don't get it is why not tell me you want to see what else is out there. I can respect that and not fight it. I know you can't change the way a person feels. I just feel like after a year of being together that I deserve a straight answer at the least. Maybe she will when she straightens all of her thoughts and emotions. Just want some closer.

*closure*

I believe you're relationship is over and you should move on. That's the safe, sane course. Her actions are clear, you're fretting yourself up over the unspoken "whys" and her actions tell you pretty much all you need to know.

Sometimes it's easier to just say "no" when someone asks for a favor, because telling them more than that... giving them drawn explanations of "why" you're saying no just opens the door for them to pressure you more or belittle your reasoning and add guilt to you. Just saying "no" and stopping takes all that power away. "But why can't you?" they ask, and you repeat, "I can't do that right now, I'm sorry." See, no more info and they still have no power.

This is probably what's happening with your girl. She doesn't want to get into with you so she's quietly disconnecting as cleanly as she can. Giving you LESS info is better for her since you're not able to come at her with "responses" to the reasons she would've given.

Make sense?

I believe you're relationship is over and you should move on. That's the safe, sane course. If she does return later, and that's a BIG "if", you shouldn't be sitting around pathetically waiting for her, your life needs to have moved on as well. You can decide then if there's an appropriate place in it for her at that time.

It could be years, if at all before she ever does think of coming back... by then, perhaps your wife and kids would object to your taking her back.

Your asking an awful lot, expecting closure from a young inexperienced female. Closure comes with accepting this thing is over, and leave it be, and move on with your life. You've been dumped nicely, so stop trying to read her mind, as you will understand later.

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Giving you LESS info is better for her since you're not able to come at her with "responses" to the reasons she would've given.

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You know, I never thought of it in those terms. It makes sense because I know if I get a reason I will naturally come back with something to repudiate it, or at least try to. Wow, that was actually eye-opening for me.

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

It could be years, if at all before she ever does think of coming back...by then, perhaps your wife and kids would object to your taking her back.

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Or he may simply realize she wasn't as great as he thought she was.

I agree mean it doesn't sound good this. Does it :)

I mean if she did love you she would be with you wouldn't she :) but she isn't and its her issues. Not yours. So let her go and find someone who is right for you

Because she doesn't sound like she is coming

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I do wish you all the best though :)

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